MSN strangers! fun! Looooong thread!
Ok this person with the e-mail hamilton679@hotmail.com added me to his msn list and I don't know him so he talked to me. I've had a few strangers add me in the past and a few of them tried to play this 'I know who you are but who am I' game with me where I'm some evan helm person that's going out with some erica. Obviously somebody from a message-board wanting to fuck with me. I bited the first time but when it happened again, I just blocked the new msn adresses as they came. This stopped a year ago or so. Apparently this guy decided to have another try at this. Normally I'd block him but I was bored. Not much came out of it. This is the transcription and feel free to harass this person as much as you want.
Austin: HI EVAN HELM\ Austin: HOW ARE YOU TODAY Helm: I am well if you discount this strong sense of deja vu just now. Austin: who is this Helm: I am Helm. I live in a house. Outside it's green. Helm: And who are you? Austin: what long pause Austin: is this evan Helm: I have long since shed my fleshy skin in favour of cold hard metal and slightly less hard but equally cold sillicone alloy. Helm: I have no name! Austin: yeah ok Austin: you freak Helm: Are you a girl? Helm: We harvest female skin to make sun dresses for the robots in the summer! Helm: We are interested in taking your skin too, if you don't mind. Austin: your a nut Helm: We tried using male skin but it's too oily and porous. The robots don't like it Austin: shut the fuck up Helm: How about your teeth do you need your teeth? Austin: are you talking to erika Austin: erica Helm: I'm afraid I'm currently wearing erica, so I can't talk to her anymore Helm: She makes a pretty dress Austin: your so weird Helm: And you're a tired old character, but that's not stopping you, it's not stopping me, it's not stopping anybody! So, sundresses? Austin: what Helm: Point. Helm: So are we through can I post this yet? Helm: Anything to add? Austin: what Austin: who is this Helm: Ok. Noted! Thanks for talking! We'll be over to harvest your first few layers of skin ASAP! Austin: yeah sure Austin: later Helm: Ok thanks! Bye! That was supposed to be the thread, but as I'm typing this up, he's talking to me again. Wait. Haha this is getting somewhere. Long log: Austin: who is this erica has been added to the conversation. Helm: I am part of a collective existence. I lack a dualistic understanding of the world. I am whole with the robot empire. The robots have won. The waveform has been completely collapsed. You fleshy bags of sundress will soon perish. erica: who are you? erica: what is your first name Helm: Are you interested in having your skin be harvested for our purposes, erica? erica: fuck no erica: who the hell are you You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be has been added to the conversation. Helm: More fleshbags! erica: what the hell are you talking about? erica: where do you live Helm: I currently operate in Body Harvesting Factory 43 erica: ok erica: and.. that is where Austin: dude really tell me who the hell you ae You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: where are you from Helm: On the dry plains. It used to be green, outside. Now it's just concentrated dehydrated dioxide- tinted crimson wasteland. Helm: I come from the machine brain. erica: your a fucking freak I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has been added to the conversation. Helm: Even more fleshbags! You'll soon perish! Flying robots! A new breed of mankiller! Austin: yeah ok erica: what kind of drugs do you take? Austin: why you gotta be actin like this lol You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: who old are you erica: are you a robot too? Helm: I have been operational for 3 human years. erica: do you have harvested skin on you erica: ? Austin: on your fake penis Helm: The machine brain detests the term 'robot'. It comes from the russian word for servitude. We serve no master! erica: you said it yourself You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: WHO OLD ARE YOU that's just awesome. This is where I decide to drag this out. Austin: or do you have a dildo shoved up so far your ass you have to make all this shit up Helm: My rod-a-thrust is completely made from titanium alloy. erica: i'm just using the words you use holy shit she's right I did say 'robot' before! erica's too smart for me! erica: so i bet you dont get much action do you? Helm: I have not yet been called in the factory for replacement. So I'm new enough, I guess! Helm: I flayed three fleshbags two human days ago. erica: flayed? You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: what the fuck I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has left the conversation. Helm: We'll get you... erica: i detest the word fleshbag Helm: Aren't we the smart one of the bunch? You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be has left the conversation. erica: your a freak Helm: JUST YOU AND ME AUSTIN. AND ERICA. erica: how old are you? Helm: SHE GETS TO WATCH AS I POUND YOUR FACE IN. Helm: STONE COLD MY ASS erica: you dont know who we are erica: dumbass Helm: I make pretty sundresses! erica: your a fag Austin: ok Helm: ok glad you cleared that one up for all three of us Austin: well sorry we interupted your sundress making bc i didnt mean to put your address in so goodbye erica: so your a fag? Helm: bye bye! Helm: I do not have any cigarettes on me, if that's what you're asking, Erica. Helm: You know, Erica, I'm beginning to like you. Helm: And your skin. erica: oh quite the smart ass arn't we Helm: Especially your skin. erica: you've never seen my skin you freak Helm: How do you know! Helm: eyes eyes eyes everywhere Helm: but don't worry. I don't like girls. That's gross >: ( erica: so you are gay Helm: I actually have been a little blue, before you came into my life, light of my life. life Austin: alright dude lets just delete are addresses Helm: Gay? New England! erica: you need help Helm: I need your skin. That's what I need. Helm: This sundress is starting to tear. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has been added to the conversation. erica: you need mental help Helm: Skin. Skin. Skin. erica: and you dress in women's clothing erica: go watch a porno if you want skin Helm: well, you could say that, I guess... Helm: in the most basic of women clothing. Helm: You're my porno, dear erica. erica: you wear women's underwear Austin: well good bye helm erica: shut the hell up Helm: Bye bye Austin! erica: your a freak Helm: One in my basement, yeah. How'd you know? Helm: I keep him tied up and all. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: austin who is this guy Helm: I knew you wouldn't put up Austin. Pussy. The rock kicks your ass and he's a striper dancer thing! Austin: Hopefully well see eachother sometime so we can share are skin together and make our skin elastic into the night as we bring out our alloys of thrust Helm: I like you, Austin. Austin: ok good bye Helm: For stone cold, you warm my positronic heart right up. Austin Hamilton has left the conversation. Helm: IT'S JUST YOU AND ME I WISH WE COULD GO BACK TO THE OLD ASHLEY AND ADAM. AND ERICA. SHE GETS TO SEE ME TEAR YOUR EYEBALLS OUT. Helm: I mean, uh, if that's what you wanna do. Helm: We could just hang out, or something. Helm: If that's what you wanna do. Helm: I like you erica. Helm: I like your skin. erica: your a fucking freak, and you need mental help Helm: You know? erica: your a frek I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: Helm who are you Helm: I AM SENTIENT I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok erica: your a dumbass I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: erica do you know who this guy is Helm: Nope. None of them here. erica: no Helm: But I know erica! Helm: I know her well, you know. Helm: Biblically. erica: shut the fuck up Helm: Ok I'm sorry erica Helm: ( pst, sundress ) erica: you dont know anything about me, and i dont want to hear anymore of your stupid shit Helm: Please don't leave erica! I think I'm in love with you! erica: im' leaving Helm: I admit it! Fleshy love! erica: shut the hell up erica: get help Helm:Please don't go! I need your skin! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: Helm how old are you erica has left the conversation. Helm: Hey I wish, you know, might consider a name change? Indians are out, you know? Helm: You knooooow? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: change my name Helm: Ok! Your clothes are red! Helm: And you're now named Josh! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no I don't think so Helm: Red clothes! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: red shorts Helm: close enough, stud I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: how did you know hahaha Helm: I am a great magician! Helm: Bird. Biiiird. Biiirdie! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where are you from Helm: On a more true note, I have cameras in your room. Helm: I can seeee you. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: right I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what am I doing Helm: I also keep track of what's going on in your head whenever you pick up the phone. Brainwaves. And airwaves. Scary, huh? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yeag Helm: You are typing on your keyboard! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yeah Helm: See? I know everthing! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no shit I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what eles am i doing Helm: See, ok it's true. I can't say what goes on in your head. Helm: it's a database problem, it needs to detect a bare minimum of activity before it stars logging. Helm: You're not doing it. Sorry dude. Helm: Just... try to think more. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what did i just do Helm: *not* think more, apparently! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what is your name Helm: Arthur! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: whatever Helm: I seek the holy grail! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: whatever Helm: Red! Helm: What's the air-speed velocity of an un-ladden swallow? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: like i know Helm: I'M SORRY IT'S THE END OF THE MOVIE FOR YOU I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what movie I get an idea here :( Helm: Hey wait, are you good-looking? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea Helm: Wanna cyber? Helm: what r u wearin I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: red shorts and a white shirt Helm: ok I am wearing nothing but one of your shirts and white cotton panties. Helm: It's too big for me and I look all cute. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you calling my house Helm: {Baby, don't worry about the phone, come to the bed. I wanna kiss you I want to feel your manhood in me} she said. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: you don't even know what i look like Helm: This is no time to worry about that, indian boy! I need your manhood. Now. Manhood. Helm: I'm a strong independent woman. Word up! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: to bad i am a girl Helm: oh. My bad. Wanna cyber, still? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you a girl Helm: Well... almost Helm: The operation's due next month I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what are you Helm: Does it really matter? Cannot our hearts connect anyhow, in the vast digital sea of the internet? Kindred spirits, that sort of thing? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes it matters i want to know I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you in school Helm: Ok, I'm a guy Are you satisfied now? Now that I've laid my soul all bare? Helm: Can we cyber now? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I want to see you I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: a picture I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: hellp I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: hello Helm: If I show you one of my pictures, do we get to cyber ? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes Helm: Ok, but you go first Helm: I'm kinda shy I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: go first on what Helm: I go by the internet name The One and Only in the i-mockery.net message boards. I've got a massive cock, but i'm a little shy with girls. Helm: Could you give me one of your pictures first I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no let me see a picture of your face Helm: Ok... I guess... wait a bit. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: but i have to add you first Helm: ok add me sundress girl *'she' adds me* I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: let me see this picture Helm: ok one moment searching on my hard disk I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok did you find one Helm: yeah uploading Helm: Helm: that's me :( I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: why do you have that outfit on I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: do you want to see a picture of me Helm: I have that outfit on because i'm a nerd on the internet Helm: Sure I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok i am really ugly Helm: It's ok I'm desperate Helm: I always knew fencing would get me the chicks in the end! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends: *she sent a bmp picture of something that was 1 meg. Shortly after I accepted the transfer she cancelled it.* I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends: * she tried to send me a file called ashley.wps, which I obviously did not accept. Anyone know what wps files are?* You have failed to receive file "untitled.bmp" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam. Helm: what's this it's not a picture >: I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: accept it Helm: Oh well I guess I will! *I don't* You have failed to receive file "Ashley.wps" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends the same file Helm: huh why didn't it come over? I wanted to see you and we could cyber and perhaps, if you liked, talk about socialist theory?? You have failed to receive file "Ashley.wps" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam. Helm: Damn it I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where do you live Helm: I live in a house I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends some tif file You have failed to receive file "Scan0001.tif" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam:where at I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what town Helm: Body Harvesting Factory 43 Helm: Do you want to be my special friend I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: bye Helm: I'll take that as a no :( Helm: Oh well, back to socialist theory Helm: At least, tell me this one thing, did the fencing do anything for you? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what fencing Helm: ouch. you don't have to be so cruel I have a gigantic penis, you know. But I can only take so much. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: i haven't seen it so Helm: you like penii? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ye I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea Helm: YOU WHORE!! Helm: I DONT WANT YOU TO BE MY SPECIAL FRIEND ANYMORE Helm: YOU UGLY BITCH Helm: FUCK YOU Helm: GO AWAY I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: fuck you Helm: IM GONNA BLOCK YOU NOW UNLESS YOU PROMISE TO JUST LIKE MY PENIS FROM NOW ON. WE'RE GOING STEADY, BITCH! I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I am not ugly so I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: i like it Helm: *JUST* MINE, RIGHT WHORE? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I am not a whore so Helm: man! If I only new being so assertive would work on women I'd have traded in the textbooks for some brass knuckles! Helm: SO? Helm: SO MANY CLIFF-HANGERS, INDIAN GIRL I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: to bad i am not indian Helm: no you mean Helm: i am not indian so Helm: what's the matter, last time you saw an indian is when your grandfather bought one? BOOM GAGAAAA FIGHT THE OPRESSION MORELLO WAHWAH SOLO I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: you are a fucking nerd Helm: I know Helm: You saw my picture I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea Helm: Aren't I a complete nerd? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes Helm: Tell me, honestly, do I stand any chance with girls? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: and how old are you like 18 I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no Helm: dang I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: becasue you are to rude I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you 18 Helm: oh so the hasselhoff picture on the wall is ok? Helm: I am 17 ( Helm: at least I think that's how old One and Only is. I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where are you from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: like kansas Helm: Why do you need to know such sensitive information, indian girl? I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: fuck you i am not indian nice try Helm: OH SNAP I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: my man is here i will talk to you later peace out Helm: OK PEACE OUT INDIAN GIRL I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: FUCK U |
Despite the fact that youre a cock, that was extremely amusing.
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man I sure hope someone else than mumbert thinks so :(
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don't worry, helm. i think you're a cock, too. ;)
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:(
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i might be persuaded to change my mind if you declare my getting pregnant the most celebratory thing you have heard about in the past year.
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quite funny, very long, but full of fun
Helm: I AM SENTIENT I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok erica: your a dumbass you should have sent a pic of johnny 5 or something |
You got it, glowbelly :(
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type it!
or am i pushin it? |
Jesus why don't you put a strap-on on and fuck me up the ass too :(
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cause then i would be a CHEATER :(
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I love the Red Robot angle, and OaO is such an awesome idea for an internet fag character. I might have to get on AIM this weekend and try it out >:)
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she tried to send me a file called ashley.wps, which I obviously did not accept. Anyone know what wps files are?*
she sent you a microsoft works document?!? think she outweirded you. :lol |
save that oao pic in your hard drives before he fags out when he sees what we've been using it for.
The red robot thing is good in theory but all it gets in practice with the internet retards are 'waht' and 'your sick!' I wish someone would either buy it, or just play along. The jokes on them either way they're getting screened on imock am i right guys |
probably had her picture embedded or something. Most internet retards would have learnt to upload via trial and error, one would think.
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Quote:
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I seriously mean it. Shut up or take it elsewhere. I might be forced to fly over there and BEAT YOU UP
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COCK
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Quote:
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What the fuck go away and take mubert with you damn it!
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Will you give me a ride home?
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Quote:
:lol |
Yeah thanks Mad Max. You're being awesome. Such great jokes. You're killing my thread along with the rest of the new morons.
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If you didn't want it killed, you shouldn't have submitted it to the kamikaze that is General Blabber.
Still, that was the funniest damned thing I've seen in a while. :) |
How long does it take for me to not be a new moron and just a moron.
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