Keep it that way and after few decades it wil be worth of billions :x

Well now that everyone saw what I gave you Vila. I wont ruin the surprise when In say I just had to have the skeleton on the park bench for myself as well. :)

aj2217, nice pics. That officially marks the first time in the history of I-Mockery's Secret Santa events that somebody ever received a beer as one of their gifts. That's definitely a keepsake. And RaNkeri is right, it will be worth billions if you hold onto it long enough. Sell that shit on eBay in about five years....

"*RARE* I-MOCKERY 2007 SECRET SANTA EVENT BEER CAN! MINT CONDITION!"

Wow he sent BEER? That's hilarious, but just a bit odd. Very awesome stuff, well done by the parties involved.

Where is Proto's pics, Grislygus did an awesome job last year.

Well, Finns are infamous for the amount of alcohol they spent, so I thought that as an european aj2217 would get the joke behind the beer can. :lol

And I've considered sending a can o' my favorite brand beer in future too, if the recipent has enough age. 'cos Kukko (one of the 2 brands that are suitable for those with celiac disease) beers are damn good :x

Just wanting to let you all know I have recieved my gracious gift with gratitude. I thank you JackSchmidtKnifeThrower. Now to think up a suitable story for posting......


To be continued.....

I got mine today! :O :O :O :O :O :O

Thanks to my secret Santa I am not going to say your name until the pictures because then it is more suspenseful for everyone else but you know who you are and you rock.

i want my gift >:

Uncle Ed’s package arrived today. Inside was the usual mix of stuff.



In his own style nothing had been wrapped if you did not count the newspaper padding around the plastic figures. Always fun to rummage through but this time, clear as day was a small Barney the Purple Dinosaur doll and story book attached. I laughed and laughed and laughed until a friend saw and ran to get the orange pill bottle that would set me right.



‘Uncle Ed Broke Vila!!’ was the call that went up.

After the anti-psychotics were swallowed and the Barney doll removed I explained to the small gathered crowd of friends and family that back in the day I use to baby sit a neighbors kids who would watch that damn dinosaur sing for hours and hours at a time, finally causing me to loose a small bit of my mind.



The wizarding figures were alright enough and now rest in the bottom of my frog tank where they are being much enjoyed by Freddy The Frightened Frog Who Lived On A Log Down In The Bog. Long name for a tiny African Dwarf Frog. Then again he was nearly five years old and not nearly as tiny as he use to be.





The CD sparked a malicious glint in Vila’s eyes. Now she finally had a weapon worthy of the feud that was taking place. The neighbors and she would take turns on their vacations playing the most ridiculous music they could find as loud as they could. After her CD of Chinese Opera had disappeared, Vila had been in dire need of another CD. There was nothing wrong with the Star Wars theme, but four different cuts of the song played at level 90 for a week strait would be more than enough to annoy the neighbors.



The N’Sync magnet was another great laugh as I am more likely to be found listening to bands such as E Nomine. These packaged product bands that the record companies put out hardly drew my attention. Yet another sign that Uncle Ed who’s intentions were always good but always falling far short of the mark.



The Hat was hilarious and I wore it for the rest of the day. It was clearly suppose to be a re-gift meant for Uncle Ed, but he wasn’t going to get this one back!! I swapped it for my old Cowboy Hat and even tough people stared at me when I was out and about I smiled on. Hell this is Bakersfield. It’s not as if the town is too good for this hat. Hell this is the town where the natives actually brag about reclaiming items from the dump and taking them hope and refurbishing them.



‘I haven’t seen one of these in years’ I said holding up the wooden snake and wiggling it for a minute. It brought back memories of that old movie my little brother liked so much … what was it’s name? Little Ninjas … Kid Ninjas … or something?



The glass chess set was a surprisingly touch of class from Uncle Ed, who had never played chess a day in his life.



The candy canes and Pirates of the Caribbean chocolate coins seemed to have been added as an after thought to add cheer to the gift and they were gone before the day was out.

i think you should repost it with the pictures interjected!

Im an uncle now. :) Although I hate having to change my name to Ed. :( I want to see the frog that enjoying those figurines too. :)

Seconded.

Nobody better have sent me anything that'd appear bad, or you'll be in big internet trouble!

Well, I have them in a smaller "test tank" at the moment to make sure there are no weird chemicals on them that are going to hurt Freddy. I had to poke holes in two of the wizards cause they float. I was careful Alli and did not break them :) so far they're doing ok but I want to be safe with em and I'll get a pic of them with Freddy as soon as they go in the big tank.

Recieved mine today (props to Doopa), will post pics as soon as finals end

The Captain is triumphant!!!!
 

I got a phone call at work from my wife that went kind of like this:

Wife: "What did you order?">:

The Captain: "Huh?":confused:

Wife: "There was a package at the door, you said you are gonna quite ordering things!">:

The Captain: "I haven't ordered Jack, what the hell are you talking about???":confused:

Wife: "Well, why was there a package from the mailman at the door with Reno 911 season 1 and a dollar DVD in it then?":confused:

The Captain: (Now knowing what is going on but still finding it funny to string the wife along) I don't know was there a note? Was there a threat involved?":lol

Wife: "No, but whoever sent this put seven layers of tape... It's just ridiculous.":confused:

The Captain: "Hmm... (Laughing very hard internally) I will have to check it out when I get home.":lol

I finally made it home and explained to the wife what was going on, her response was to look at me like I was an escaped mental patient and walk away without saying a word. I looked at the pile of psychotic amounts of tape on the floor and had a decent laugh knowing that somebody has a sense of humor and that my wife had to deal with it in strange and unexpected ways. I read the letter that accompanied and had a second laugh, it read:

"I hope you have a chain saw" -Vila-

Very cool gift and method of wrapping, :rockas it was funny and annoyed my wife. When I read her the letter I got the same blank stare and she again walked away from me saying nothing... what can I say? Lady has no sense of humor. Very F'ing cool gift Vila. On an added note I got two days later a letter from Bakersfield, California. "What odd follow up could this be?" I said to myself tearing it open while sitting in my car. Good Ol' Vila was concerned I wasn't gonna dig what was already sent (Which I think rocks so... no worries brother!) and the inside contents was coinage from around the world! Very cool amigo and I appreciate it. I contemplated taking each coin off the paper that it was systematically taped on to, but enjoyed the lesson in where each coin made it's pilgrimage from so much that I left it on and will proudly be hanging it on my wall in my room next to this crappy PC that still signs on through "Dial Up"... unless I go to Greece or something.

Thanks again brother... good stuff and probably the best I will get all X-mas.

The following Pic's are as follows.
The Tape Attack!
The Enjoyment of the Gift's
and...
Coinage from around the world!!!




:bestthread:bestthread:bestthread:bestthread:bestt hread:bestthread:bestthread:bestthread:bestthread

There were 27 layers of tape on it. You only got packing (ran out of painters) and painters tape. Family gets Duct Tape. :) Glad you liked em and glad you and your wife got kicks from the packing.

Oh be careful who you show that conferderate coin to. From what I've been told it once was and may still be an act of treason having it. Not too sure though.

hey guys

I'm just going to apologize because my package will be late. I have a lot of decent reasons I won't bore you with. I promise it will be a lateness that you will barely even feel, but a lateness nonetheless. I feel like I've embarassed my country and I hope you will all forgive me.

Got my gifts today, they are awesome. Story coming soon.

Glad you like 'em. :) Can't wait to see what kind of a story you can come up with.

Yes?

On a bright and snowy morn I heard a tapping on my door.
Oh joy said I in Utter joy someone has sent me a new toy.



I opened it with so much haste I saw three things to meet my taste.



Oh no the time its pretty late the gifts I have will have to wait.

I wake to noise thats in my headI hear the word BULLSHIT!



Hey wait that ruins my poor rhyme I think Ill check those fish of mine... BULLSHIT.



Aha whose that in the dining room perhaps it is the evil Shroom .... BULLSHIT.



I know now what it is Ill do Ill stop that mushroom through and through.



The deed is done I thought Id won.
Yet what is this his spawn persits.



The mushrooms swarm throughout my house I need a drink to block them out.
Yet who is this looks back at me its evil homer there you see.



The mushrooms win I must give in.
As I feel faint my sight grows dim.
The last thig my poor ears percieve is the sound of mushrooms taunting me .... BULLSHIT.

BULLSHIT

:BULLSHIT

Got mine in the mail the other day. Pics forthcoming...

The Bullshit Button would make a good emoticon

My package left the Cinci airport today. Probably getting a connecting flight.

seriously guys, if i don't get my gift tomorrow i'm going to have a fit >: >: >: >:

joking but i really want it >:

Ok, here's my secret santa pics:




And what was it that I always wanted?



Why a Chia Head, of course.



And what a fine head it is. I can't wait to see crap growing out of it. But alas, I shall have to wait, for it must be soaked for 24 hours.


To be continued...

But before you say, "he only got you a Chia Head?" I must point out that the head also came with a free gift:



A plastic likeness of a Chia Pet with a small clock inside! Huzzah! Oddly enough, both clock and head were made in China. I wonder if that means they both contain lead...

Ahhhh irs from china get it tested. They are trying to kiill you.

i got my package this weekend! i will be posting pics soon..... i have been bed bound with strep since thursday so the best i can promise is pics by the end of the week or following weekend. sorry i just dont feel very witty at the moment but i loooooooove my gifts! in fact its funny, i almost bought one of my gifts for myself the other day haha but yeh, i am very sick, so sick in fact this package came saturday and just realized tonight i even had a package here waiting for me to open.

I got your package right here!

*points to dick*

oooh shit

nevermind though :love you secret santa

I got my gift today, but I can't open it until tomorrow (long story). What a tease. Very excited to see what it is though considering I have a pretty good idea who it's from because of the name. :) I'll have pics as soon as I can.

Also, my package hasn't updated from "being accepted at post office", but it says the expected arrival date is the 17th, so don't fret recipient.

My gift is certainly weird...ill be posting pics soon.

Got my gifts from Captain Pirateface today. I'll post pics tomorow, but Captain Pirateface, I'll tell you one thing. You hit the nail on the head for me. AWESOME STUFF. Thanks so much.

Next year we should have 3 sections.
- Completely new people
- Pretty new people
- People who have been here for more than 2 fucking years.

Stop segregation!

Still waiting for my gift :/


Hopefully it'll arrive by the 20th December, 'cos that's when my vacation, which I'm going to spend away from home, starts :/

Why is that, zomboid? Did your person not send you your gift?

No, I don't have it yet, which I'm not worried about. Also I got a really good person. I kinda just don't like how darklycan, microshock, etc, aren't considered new.

They successfully participated in the event on time last year which is a lot more than some people (including vets) can say, so no, they're not considered new.

:quityerbitchin

As for people not having their gifts yet, give it 'til the 15th or 16th and then start worrying. The postal service is notoriously slow around this time o' year, but as long as you provided the correct address to me during your Secret Santa sign-ups and your S.S. didn't completely fuck things up, your gifts should arrive within a reasonable amount of time.

Bah. Under this system, VILA will be considered a vet next year. Yucky.

my recipients should've gotten his by now according to my tracking number... i think

Yay! Present(s) from Roger! Pics forthcoming.

Oh man you got presents from RoG, you lucky bastard!

I am still eagerly waiting for mine and hopefully the package I sent gets to my reciepent soon!

Oh and Zomboid, Last year I sent and recieved gifts as well as posting a story, it was one of your "vets" that didn't post my stuff so don't just assume that the new guys can not do it.

My camera is low on memory, so I am having to take/upload pics by about 2 at a time, so I will post them soon so they can all be posted at the same time. I hope they will post correctly this time.

Sneak peak now, because I'm too lazy to finish the present.



Christmas wishes do come true!

I was mainly referring to how most new people suck, not questioning your ability to kiss mockery's ass and successfully post pictures with a WACKY STORY.

Anyway, back on topic - that looks like a big fucking parcel, fathom.

Edit: Or maybe it just looks like it because you have sickly little arms. Either way, I'm curious as to what's in there :O

LITA FORD T-SHIRT YES YES YES YES YES. :picklehat

I have cancer.

Haha, just kidding. Actually, it's fairly light and you'll know why tomorrow.

IT'S FULL OF OLD HELLO KITTY SNACKS AND FLOAM ISN'T IT? :lol

A MAN CAN DREAM, CAN HE NOT?

Hahaha yes! Glad it arrived aok. It took me a friggin half hour to wrap that beast of a box with my grocery bags. :o Anyway, I hope you like your gift as much as I like your shirt!

Looking forward to your photo story 'n pics tomorrow. This is gonna be great hahaha

That guy has seriously never been back since his shitty present last year :lol

Better watch out or next year you might get him as your secret santa and end up with a box full of horrible things that will scar you for life. :)

Also someone sent old fruit snacks and floam? Wow big spender huh?

Yes, and I was the one who received 'em last year. >: Check the 2006 Secret Santa thread.

No I wouldn't do somethign like that, I think the guy is still bottling hate about the gay and tranny pirate porn he recieved from secret santa 2005 XD and the threats of being B& hammered, I don't think I could top that.

Unless....

Well at least it looked like Captain Rocket. Or maybe we could call him Captain Crotch Rocket did not get anything at all. Kind of poetic when you think of it.

If I ever get you for a secret santa I will be sure to include Floam and Gummi snacks with it just so you can remember the good times of 2006

no problem amigo.

>: I'm confused by this, it shouldn't have been something they were to have signed for. Oh well, mine made it.
Pics up... sometime, camping this weekend, we'll see.
EDIT: Thanks JTP, you rock. My friends were way jealous of some of the stuff.

A box full of severed, yet ethnically varied hands?

GET TO POSTING YOUR PICS, CANCER BOY.

I have not recieved any package :<

Yeah really, this had better be the KING of all photo stories, Fathom. No pressure.

reading is fun :o :
:themoreyouknow

It's gonna kick ass. I'm still editing a few photos together.

All of the following events actually happened and I am merely recreating them. The second is larger because it'd be a kickass background for some of you degenerates, my Christmas gift to those who otherwise wouldn't receive one.

It started when I got the package from the Rog-meister.



My elbow is the biggest part of my arm, by the way. Anywho, I'll spare you guys the agony of an unboxing.



OH SHIT SON. I never had one of these as a child. Now was my chance. One thing I found odd, though, was the word "MAGIK" scrawled on the side in a mixture of yogurt and blood. Your guess is as good as mine as to what kind of yogurt it was.



Damnit, I didn't sign up for this.




The manual read like stereo instructions. So I made a few subtle modifications, seen below:



YEAH, he's the castle guardian while I'm gone at work or school or play.

DOOM FORTRESS COMPLETE.



Now that it was done, I could see the complete yogurt & blood inscription:

"Yo, man. This castle is magik. Yule be visited by three ghosts tonight. YULE HAHAHAHA. Yeah! These ghost will show you the error of your sloven and non-meshing ways!"

Needless to say, I thought it was a dumbass prank that the Rog-ster pulled on me so he could write another article or something. It didn't bother me until I went to brush my teeth...



"What the fuck, dude?"



"WUZZA WUZZA WUZZUP, DAWG!? I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. Look upon the err in my ways and hair and reflect upon them."

"Pft. Whatever, dude."

I walked out into the hall and over to the left, I saw another familiar figure.



"I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT! LOOK AT ME AND REVEL IN MY MEDIOCRITY!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"



I ducked into my room just before it ate my soul or turned me into stone or something. However, nothing prepared me for my next visitor.




"Lol, I am ghost of xmas future. I love mishcief makers and am totally not like my friends who are all dumb and ugly. I hate them alot but they love me dumbasses."

"Not this time, jerk-face!"





"DIEEEEEEE!"

Unfortunately, the ensuing fight was too epic and can't be seen with human eyes, lest they explode and you'll bleed awesome.

As the smoke cleared and the remnants of GW's head fell to the ground, there was a smell in the air not unlike that of a tub of butter. I walked over and looked at the pile of sadness before me.

"He should have listened to me. He made the wrong decision, and he got burned for it, in the end. I just hope she's alright. I bet she's still running, even now. Goodbye, old friend."

I glanced down and amongst the ashes, there was a glint of silver. Could it be?

HELL YES.



The moral of the story is: "Guitar Woman is a ghost pinata filled with stickers, so shoot him if you ever get the chance."

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Falalalala and all that jazz.

Done, damnit.

gahahaha I enjoyed that. Fuck you vila and gw :D

Hehe nice pics, I particularly like the one of you popping out of the castle with the gun in hand. Good job assembling it ($20 can go a long way, eh?), though you really should've decorated it more. You barely even colored it in. :(

THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE, I GAVE HIM A GODDAMNED CASTLE AS A GIFT! TAKIN' SECRET SANTA TO NEW HEIGHTS IN '07!

Ya know Zomboid... Times a much better filter than any user imposed classification system.

Ohh just you wait till my person gets their gift. One of the items will take some assembly as well and it's in a league of its own.

Time constraints. I plan to paint it later anyway.

Haha, I just noticed that you can barely tell it's a lightgun in the pictures.

i got my gift today! :love



omg omg omg omg omg omg



>: not funny



EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T SIGN IT, i knew it was microshock because he PMed me RUINING THE SURPRISE >: to tell me that it was going to be late

and no i'm not going to chew the gum because my teeth hurt >:

j/k it's alright :love



included: an enormous red bow, a massager sponge, 4 packs of gum, a poncho, devil horns (that DIDN'T light up when i put batteries in them :(), a hair clip, a pencil topper, a losing scratched scratch ticket and some sort of fish toy.

so what did i do with (most of) these items?



i enjoyed myself!

THAT WAS THE BEST STORY EVER! But where's the little green monkey?

And i'm sorry that the devil horns didn't work. : (

Package delivered: Severn, MD. @ 8:42 a.m.

Yays! i got my gifts pics will be up later today, thank you marioRPG

* I NOW PRESENT UNCLE_SHAMS HUMUNGUS, BIG ASS CHRISTMAS STORY OF SUSPENCE AND MYSTERY!!!*

as told mostly by my cat




brought to you by Gas-ex "if you have gas.... just fart i guess."



i awoke one morning to the sound of my cat in a fit





i roused in a daze, i glared at the cat sprawled on the floor directing me to the door



i followed her down the hall,



and down the stairs



where she directed me to my secret santa present that she saved from the outside cold of a Canadian winter



after much tearing and shredding of wrapping, a plethora of objects appeared before
my very eyes




a dvd of suspence and mystery




a growing shark of suspence and mystery



a strange tightly wrapped parcel of suspence and mystery



a mystical note




magical trading cards




Suspicious goggles of win and awesome



the movie shall give me and my cat somethign to do when were not playing with our legos



if the shark does grow to such a size i shall harpoon it and place it above my fireplace.



i note awaited my eyes after a vicious ripping of the parcel



i know now is the time



a condom for sexy parties, to prevent the AIDS



my cat decided that the tampon was good enough to eat




i hope you can read this note. i cant im illiterate



she took no intest in the cards



the goggles look good on me



and the cat



and the movie

I hope you enjoyed my fucking long story

thank you and good night



BTW: in 10 hrs ill post how big that shark is

How old are you?

im this many! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15!

You like 9. And fatter than I am/was/can be.

hey ZBF, did you like that picture I made of you?

wow, you are a dick.

lol. this site isn't called i-mockery for a reason. or something.

true. very true. in fact, just ask Mr Mockery or Dr Boogie, i mock with the best. i just draw the line at making jokes about someone weight ie. calling them fat. plus ZBF is a dick, we all know that lol

This reminds me of last year when zbf tried to bash this 14 year old for being too young, despite the fact that he was around 14 too, that was legendary :lol

Back on topic, now that it's the 16th, everybody should have their gifts by now and should be getting their photos ready to be posted. Remember, you need to post your Secret Santa photos by December 20th.

If you haven't received your Secret Santa gifts yet, please let me know so I can contact the senders and see what the hold up is.

Nothing yet but I'm not too concerned.

According to the USPS website, my item was delivered on December 8th, but my person hasn't posted anything yet.

I'll try to take my pics tonight if I can, and have them up in the next day or two.

yeah rog, you DO have to post your pictures soon >: >: >: >: >:

Glad you enjoyed the presents, Uncle_Sham, I hope the movie was good. I didn't even get to watch it.

well i was trying to wait until i ws no longer sick so my meds wouldnt have me creating some weird codeine induced mess of a story, but i am just going to suck it up and do what i can tonight or tmrow cuz i see no improvement on the immediate horizon. i just wanted to due justice to the awesome gifts i got

ill watch the movie tonight probably, the goggles were my fav. Now i have something to wear with my pickle hat!

Hahah don't you worry, I plan on making a funtastic photo story using your spiffy gifts! Thanks for sending 'em on time!

My story will consist of a series of photographs without any WACKY AND ZANY captions. Most people just aren't funny and I don't think it's worth wasting everyone's time! :D

Don't be so hard on yourself! I believe in you!

thank you for posting your story, sham jr.

Was it really necessary to jump all over him for doing what the contest asked?

My camera has been acting up, and I need a new memory card. I will try to post pics tomorrow. Trying to think of a half decent story.

Agreed, and the pic of him holding up the Gas-X box to his face with a huge green is friggin' fantastic too. Rock on, Sham.

Don't worry about trying to be insanely funny, just have fun with the gifts and the pictures of them that you take. If you do that, it'll show and people with enjoy your post regardless. Lookin' forward to your pics

Sham made me laugh a lot :=

I got my package the other day, should have pictures soon. You're lucky I didn't read this thread Fathom, as I doubt anyone else lives in Severn, MD!

I'm just glad you're not Dr. Boogie.

Yeah. I doubted anybody else knew or cared. Besides, I only put that when I found out it was delivered.

Hope you enjoyed most if not all of the gifts!