Magical Chernobyl Water!
 

ARE YOU READY FOR A MIR-A-CULL-UH? :hypno

So I saw this televangelist on TV this morning, and he was hawking "miracle water". Apparently a "pastor" in Russia (are there a lot of "pastors" there?) was guided by God to a miracle spring during the Chernobyl disaster, and when his flock drank the water, God protected them from the radiation. He even made sure they had plenty of canned goods. Of course, God gave everyone else cancer, because they were too dumb to drink from the spring.

You could get a ketchup-sized packet of this miracle water FOR FREE by signing up with the ministry. They keep saying it's free, although I've read elsewhere that the water only works if you follow detailed instructions, which of course include sending the guy money.

Then they went on and on about all the people that this water cured. One woman who was supposedly a terminal cancer patient was touched by the televangelist and capered around the church to show that she was HEALED-uh. Another woman said that she'd been in a car accident, had back pain and screws in her ankle, and after using the water it was "all gone!". What was gone? The screws?

Another guy said he drank the water and suddenly had a new house, new car and new wife. Maybe the water gave him amnesia.:confused:

I just hope for everyone's sake that this is harmless tapwater from somewhere in the US and not real Chernobyl water.

I hate televangelists.

so the spring water is radioactive or just miraculous ?

I don't. I'd like to think that'd it'd just be another form of natural selection. People who are stupid enough drink the irradiated water and die while the intelligent ones don't and survive.

And people who secretly loathe themselves can drink it too. Do they have a website?

This is 100% true.

There's a link at the bottom of the wikipedia page. It says WARNING- SOUND!, so be forewarned.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Popoff

Ordinarily I would agree with the natural selection theory, but that's easy enough to say when you're healthy. If you're just home from getting a terminal diagnosis at the doctor's and you're more scared than you've ever been, I could see the vulnerability. Or your well-meaning grandma drinking in the miracle water in hopes that something good will happen to you. I don't know why this guy didn't disappear for good after Randi exposed him.

Edited to add: in that article I first posted, they interview a woman who sent him a total of $350 over the course of...I think it was a year. The "free" water only works if you keep it under your pillow, drink it first thing in the morning, then write him a check for $17. He sends you some miracle salt, which you're supposed to eat over the course of a week. Then, if you send him $35, a miracle will happen. And so on.

Why do you always have to bring me down? :(

I seem to have that effect on people :(

I'm just giving all that as reasons why idiots like this Popoff guy need to be taken out back and removed from society.

Reminds me a bit about those pads you put on your feet at night and they allegedly drained the "toxins" from your body as you slept. They were proven to operate pretty much on the placebo concept.

I'm guessing that's what this is, ordinary water. Yes, ordinary water laced with LSD.

ZQ! STOP THIS SILLY NONSENSE OR I WON'T RAPE YOU ONE DAY!

Awesome. Drink from the radioactive spring, and then give me all of your money.

Kit, you do make me laugh.

I was thinking that it was very much like one of those "let's see what I can get people to do" experiments.

"Hm, I wonder if I could.....I know! I'll get people to drink water from Chernobyl and then send me money! Oh my God, they're actually doing it!"

There's a quest with a similar idea to this in Fallout 3 :O

Edit: Two, actually. One where they sell the water as miraculous, and another where they sell irradiated water (they claim it's filled with "holy light") that kills people.

THIS GUY IS A THIEF!

I personally think an advert in the Examiner (a supermarket tabloid).

Apparently the course cost seventy-five dollars. I guess if a person pays that much for Jesus urine, it can't take too much to raise their intelligence. Anything's higher than zero I mean...

Oh fuck, not him again. He's been exposed as the fraud that he was:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zl3I5y4cZc

Is the water free though? And is it actual Chernobyl water? I want some. It would be cool to have.

I wonder if I could get it off of e-bay?

The initial water is free, I think. And then if you want God to make it work, you actually have to send money to Popoff.

There are still people who live in some of the suburbs of Chernobyl. The water mains are above ground because of the fallout that was absorbed by the soil. They have tours, you could just go on vacation and ask some Ukrainian woman for a drink of water.

http://www.tourchernobyl.com/chernobyltour/

:)