Can't wait cookies always make for epic stories.

they tasted allright, i guess. i was too mad at the level of overpackaging to really notice. and the only way i'd count the candy amount inside the gingerbread men as "lots" would be if you counted the total number of pieces (including sprinkles)

OH WHOOPS I FORGOT TO MAIL AN INPORTANT PART OF MY SECRET SANTA GIFT, FUG

guess i gotta send another one :(

:lol I completely forgot to put a card in mine. Somebody's going to be playing the guessing game.

YES! My Christmas package arrived today!
I'll hopefully get a chance to open it up tomorrow and check it out, as well as take pictures.

Thanks, MarioRPG! This is great!

My mom called to tell me my package was at my house, unfortunately as I am a college student, I won't get it until Sunday when I see my mom. Sorry Secret Santa.

Dextire, awesome! I hope you enjoy each and everything I sent you. Including the envelope. That's like 40% of the gift. (Kidding, obvs)

To the person who sent to me, HOLY CRAP. I received a huge and heavy box. I haven't opened it yet because...

The bad news. I'm so sick today. Only managed to crawl to my computer after 7 hours of laying on the couch. I'll get them pictures up in the next week.

Mine has been shipped, it should be there in 6/7 days.

OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT EVER COULD THIS BE? :eek


WHY IT IS A BOX!


<3


This magnet is one of the greatest gifts that I have ever received, but there's more!


SHIRTS, WHAT A COINCIDENCE BECAUSE I WEAR SHIRTS!


I wanted to put one of them on my dog because pictures of animals dressed up like people are funny but for some reason he got really angry and bit me so I punched him in the head and kicked him a few times and then put the shirt on him. I think that it looks nice.


How did you know? :tear

You got some great stuff there, Leader! That Al Gore card is awesome. :)

I have friends from out of town coming to stay with me, and they are taking me out tonight for my birthday.
So unfortunately, I won't be able to open the package and take pictures tonight like I was hoping.
I'll definitely be able to do it this weekend though.

Wow, are you people ever giving out some good gifts this year!
From what I've seen, this may be the best Christmas (at least in terms of cool gifts) ever!

Hope ya enjoy the stuff. I wanted to make sure that I got the right size, so I asked 10k to ask ya. You seemed cynical enough to appreciate Onion merch. Their magnets are indeed awesome.

You've made this the best Christmas ever!!!!

THAT IS SO CUTE

I'm still waiting to see whether or not poppers620 enjoys my COMPLETELY uninteresting present. I can only hope that their delay in posting photos is because they've been enjoying it too much to take pictures.

So I peeked at my gifts, and they all rock :rock
I don't think I'll be making a story this year, but I'll definitely enjoy the presents! Thanks for the bounty of Christmas Joy secret santa! (who will be revealed later, unless they want to do it themselves.)

You don't have to post a story, but yeah everybody's gotta post pictures of what they received. Awesome gifts so far this year guys!

Awesome gifts! I'm really impressed with the generosity/showing off from everyone.

:lol just wait til you see what Bill got

I can't wait until tomorrow!!! I want my secret santa gift.

POST PICTURES NOW!!! GOD DAMN I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY BITCH TO POST PICTURES OF MY SHIT!

Going to put mine up when I get home. I just GOT IT and its pretty funny.

attn: my secret santa person- if you get a smaller priority mail envelope first don't open it unless you want SPOILERS to what is in the big box

-willie

She told me to let you know that she had a family emergency come up, but she'll have the pictures posted sometime this weekend and she was really happy with what you sent.

What did I get from my Secret Santa?
Well, there was the letter (what pretty handwriting)



There was white popcorn (which was tasty)


and Wacky Packages (which weren't)



There was an action figure of Conan O'Brien (which, believe it or not, was for ages 18 and over)


And there was the greatest cartoon of all time


Thanks again for the gifts DonkeyRyan! Merry Christmas!

And if anybody cares, here's the rest of the Wacky Packages

My favorite has to be the NKOTB one :lol

Glad you liked the stuff! Merry Christmas! (Wow, I didn't even put that on the letter haha)

Boy the Wacky Packages stickers take me back

i have defaced much public property on my trip from norfolk to pittsburg^^ many thanks indeed also just mailed my package^^well....dropped it in the mail bin thingie

god dammit i wish i could participate in this. my first year not doing it :((((((((((

just got mine-- i had it shipped to my parents' house, and only just finally had a day off today. despite it being 1 am when i got home, i had to peek in the box. i'll post photos this week whenever i'm not living at work. thanks, 10,000 volt ghost, for filling this box with awesome!

don't feel bad BTC, it's my first year not doing it too. :(

Got my package, unfortunately a certain Grumposaur has currently claimed it as his own!(Waiting for camera batteries to charge). So here is a teaser of Grumposaur.

So I had two secret santas this year. I've gotten one package so far which contained:

I opened the Grinch and found:

At first I was all like:


Then I noticed there was a prize inside which I found this:


After all that I realized it was actual pancake mix. THANK YOU BABALITY PANCAKES!!!!!!

Now think about your dad

THERE'S PRIZES INSIDE YOUR COCAINE/PANCAKE MIX THERE! SHOW THEM NOW!

PS. I'm pretty sure you're getting ANOTHER package of goodies.

Goddamn it Microshock, post those pictures already you lazy SOB >:

:lol I didn't even see the rest in the packaging:



Did you reseal the bag AND the box? I'm really glad you said something about it. I was going to throw the Bisquik in the snow. Thank you for saving Christmas Babs.

That DVDs in resealed Bisquick gag was a freaking good piece of business Babality Pancakes! Well done!

And 10K, when I saw what you did with the pacake mix I laughed so hard I hurt the ears of the person I was on the phone with :lol

Hmmmm? A package!!!


But wait I can't open this yet. I need something.... FESTIVE!!!1



The most festive shirt I own! The Krampus shirt! To remind all of you to behave or else Krampus. Will beat you with sticks and stick you in his bag.


NOT GRUMPASAUR!! My archenemy! Well not really more of a plush dino friend.




Damn you GRUMPASAUR!!!



Well at least someone is enjoying my presents.



What is this? BATTLEFIELD EARTH!!! THE SINGLE GREATEST JOHN TRAVOLTA MOVIE EVER.


The sheer awesome of this movie caused my eyes to begin glowing red!!!

While I was marveling over the awesomeness of Battlefield Earth, Grumpasaur continued looting my package.


Whats this????? A BLIND BOX FUTURAMA TOY????? How does my secret santa know me so well? Let's see what is in the box!


Everyone's favorite alien newscaster! MORBO!!! Complete with vein cream! That is good I was worried he wouldn't be able to take care of his veins!

Grumpasaur Discovered my next present.



Munchkin!!!11




I had been contemplating buying this for awhile, my Secret Santa did the Deciding for me!!

I decided to pose to remind Grumpasaur who the presents were for.



This turned out to be be a very bad decision. As Grumpasaur knocked me out.....




And stole my Festive shirt...





With me knocked out Grumpasaur left with my shirt and my presents.



He just walked out with all of my stuff



GRRRRRRUMMMPPPPPAAAAASSSAAAAUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR !!! DAMN YOU!!

And the awesome gifts just keep coming! :)

I very much liked the stories guys! However, I have a question for you BatmanJohnson, who was your Secret Santa?! :confused:

i keep checking the USPS website to track my package, and it seems like two notices have been left for my person. i'm starting to worry-- i really hope they get their present soon... it would be a shame if they didn't get it!

I assume 10,000 volt ghost, as It says it's from Buffalo. A big thank you to Ghost.

The Battlefield Earth present is probably the best of all. That is amazing, I can't even comprehend it. You made out pretty good Batman and was entertaining seeing your ass kicked by that green thing that has that look of anguish.

Yes I did by the way. Resealed it all big tittie bay bay style.

PS. There was a prize inside sticker placed onto that fancy box of pancakes.

I saw the sticker...I just thought it was part of the ploy of pancake mix.

You are correct sir. Hope you like them. :)

Love the Krampus shirt.

sorry for the delay on posting pics.... but I got my secret santa package from Ozzie!!!




I got quite a few wrapped presents! SO EXCITING!!!!




And I also got this nice letter:



My favorite quote in the letter: "This is essentially a group of movies I want you to dislike and deride." My kind of movies indeed (especially when it comes to horror)!!!


Package 1:



First off, I know Ozzie was worried I wouldn't like these movies or already own them, well I am going to be honest. I DO already have Cabin Fever, but this is one of my favorite horror movies ever. It's so bad its AWESOME. I swear to god I really love it, and I am way excited because now I have a copy I can keep at my family's vacation home. I love the fact I will always have Cabin Fever only an arms reach away from me.

Package 2:



I have never seen or heard of Evil Remains, but the back actually claims its scarier than Cabin Fever, so I am sold. I look forward to making Rog watch this with me while Re pretends to work on her laptop and not pay attention. It looks quality. I bet it would make a good double feature with Blown Away, eh Rog? ;)

Package 3:



Dreams in the Witch House from Masters of Horror... heard of it, but haven't seen it. Look forward to checking it out, I am a huge fan of Stuart Gordon!


Package 4:



The Bad Seed AND The Abominable Dr. Phibes (!!!). OK, this is plain awesome. I have seen both, but its been awhile, and these movies were both on my list of films I wanted to buy for my collection.

Thanks so much Ozzie! This was a great haul! Words cant even express how thrilled I was that you included Cabin Fever haha

Oh yes! I love them!!!! I'll be doing this again next year! Thanks again.

Glad you enjoyed the flicks, poppers. Cabin Fever was added to the pile of movies when I told the friend I was with that I was looking for bad horror movies. He pulled off it the shelf, said "hey, this sucks!" and threw it into my arms. The rest of them were picked out in pretty much the same way, Evil Remains being only slightly more well thought out, since, as you noted, it claims to be even scarier than Cabin Fever.

I figured even if you really hated all of the other horror movies, a Vincent Price classic like Dr. Phibes would redeem the whole pile. Especially in Elmo giftwrap.

I didn't mind Cabin Fever. Especially because of moments like "PANCAKES".

I Louvre Cabin Fever. Especially the part at the end with the shopkeeper. Everyone in the theater was gasping really bad but I was cracking up.

Sequel is due out some time next year. Don't think it will be near as good though.

DREAMS IN THE WITCH-HOUSE IS FUCKING AWESOME BTW >:

I'll make no guarantees! But it will be before December 22nd :)

I want to watch some of the movies and maybe do some mini reviews

Oh God.

Captain should have taken pictures of it before he sent it out and ruined his gay little plan.

What can I say? I didn't think ahead.

It's ok, I think he understands that he is alone on this and that he is ruining it for everyone. But hey, what did we really expect? A lot of people didn't play this year cause we knew he would ruin it.

I know you got him good stuff Captain regardless of the outcome. You are a stand up guy and I applaud you.

What the fuck are you half brained dipshits talking about? I don't want to post a story this year, because it seems no one is, so ill take some pictures and post 1 or 2 sentences about the movies he sent me.

I have a deadline to when I have to post the pictures, and it will be before then.

I know you all want to suck my dicks, just make a line and i'll address you appropriately, no skipping.

No no, go ahead with your "mini reviews". I'm sure we will all love it!

Someone is up past his bedtime and is cranky.

You're not first in line! You're at least 3rd or 4th! Get back in there :)

Cabin Fever, Dreams in the Witch House, and Demon Seed are all great. You inadvertently got awesome movies.

PS - Thanks for ruining this thing two years in a row, Microshock.

Microshock, you've had the stuff for a week now. Did you ever stop to think that maybe captain516 would like everyone to see what he sent you?

That and reviewing a gift that someone sent you seems a little rude but idk.

Oh my poor conscience, it can't take it, it just can't! How dare I not post the pictures as soon as I get the stuff!

*Sniff sniff* I'm hurting everyone in the community by not appealing to them, aww.

What a prick.

Mmmm, delicious sounds of tears falling to the ground. Yeah I know Captain wants me to post pictures, and I will, just not immediately, and that's not to say it'll be 3 minutes before the deadline. I'll do it soon.


Edit: Captain, the stuff is pretty good, i just want to take time to look thru some of the gifts, kay?

Hey Poppers, I'm sorry you had a family emergency. Thank you for posting as soon as you could. You are a shining example of consideration. I applaud you.

Poppers, sorry about your family emergency, and congratulations on posting the pictures as soon as possible.

Me on the other hand, did not have an emergency, and took some extra time to post pictures, poor me. I have let down the whole community here on I-mockery, the horror.

Also, if I really did single handedly stop all those people from joining the secret santa this year, then good, ill add it to my book of achievements.

Don't you mean trophies, you rabid fanboy?

i, too, join community events for communities that i hate

I'm glad you enjoy what I do :)

Captain, i'll get those pictures up by this Friday, i understand you're anxious

It's like you told Captain that there is no Santa. What a great thing to do.

What? :(

:lol



Oh guys, come on. Give the poor fool a little bit of a chance. It's Christmas, after all.

You have more then one?:confused:


On a related note, my box came yesterday, but my GF has the camera so I will be waiting till Thursday evening or Friday to post pics because that's the next time I will see her. I refuse to even open said box until the pictures are being taken because I would like to get more real reactions. Also I wanted to do it in story form and I will need her help on that too as she is admittedly better than me at picture taking :)

Also Batman, I was going to do a "need a festive shirt" costume change gag and you beat me to it damn you :lol I probably still will, but now I need to give you credit lest I look like a ripoff artist :P

Due to the rampant immaturity shall we be paired by mental age next year?

We all are mentally 3 anyway, so we already were :lol

Lol I thought the shirt would be a nice touch. That and I had to show off my new Krampus shirt!

hehehe

thanks :)

Just got back from the post office and got my secret santa package from Kakumei :)

There's a lot o pics




Happy holidays everyone. Just for the record if anyone is counting thats two secret santas I was able to post records of. Bah Humbug Mircroshock.

That's awesome!

I pulled an M Night Shylaman twist. I'm glad you liked them. I made a video of the T-Rex but it didn't transfer over to my pc so great.

aww, sad day! admittedly, the t-rex came from a dollar store (i was looking for some kind of filler items, but in the end it was the only thing that i purchased from a dollar store), but light up eyes and roaring action? who could resist?

That t-shirt is amazing. I think I'll pick one up myself after Christmas.

PS Pichas tomorrow.

Invisible Monsters is an incredible book. Awesome Presents, Ghost is a good gift giver.

I find Microshock's behavior horrible. I couldn't wait to show off my gifts, they were great, but he is just being plain rude to not post pictures of whatever awesome gifts captain gave him. :(

From reading past Secret Santa threads, I'm frankly not surprised. This seems to be common for him.

agreed. by the way, your story to accompany your photos was totally awesome-- i'm sad i couldn't come up with anything nearly as awesome.

I made the story up as I went along. I had fun with it.

Sorry for the delay on the self imposed deadline for posting pictures. I was planning on just doing pictures, no story. Then when I read the Secret Santa letter from MarioRPG, I enjoyed it immensely, and then something just clicked. So, I decided to do a story based on it. And a lot more work later, it's finally done. I'll be playing the role of the douche millionaire Baxter Remington (minus the millionaire part and change the name to Dextire).

Enjoy!

"How I Became An Official I-Mockery Forum Member™"
by dextire

Merry Christmas! I got a package from MarioRPG!

And he sent it all the way from Merry Ole London, Canada!
I wonder if it'll be fish and chips? Or maybe bangers and mash? Ho Ho Ho.
Let's open it and see!


Oh look, there's a 3-page letter!
Let's take a gander.

“Dextire,
Firstly, I must express what a Grade-A JERK you are.”


Grade-A, huh? Can't do better than that, baby.

“I mean, you join up from outta nowhere and just DEMAND gifts.
So, here I am, stuck with someone that I can not possibly think of a gift for.”


You know, you're not sounding very British.
Blimey! Get with the program, Govnuh!

“And THEN... you buy Stonewar a boat-load of gifts.”


Well... maybe a very small boat, like a model or something.
What's your point?

“So the wheels in my head start turning.
I think I can shape you into a bonafide I-Mockery Forum Member™
that will be universally LOVED!”


Yes! Shape me, wise master!
I am new, and know not the ways of the old I-Mockery Forum vets.
Teach me your wise old, dusty, funky smelling ways.

“But how can I do that?”


I have no idea! I've never taught anything.
I mean, unless you count that one time I taught a squirrel how to eat a walnut,
but my mom said it already knew how to do that.

Besides, you said that YOU would “shape” ME, like you knew what you were talking about!
So, how are you going to do that, guy who is not sounding very much like he's from London?

“With gifts (of $25 value) of course!”


Of course! Free gifts for me!
Teach me old wise one, who smells vaguely of cheese, and Bengay.

“So there are some things you gotta know: Movies.
Horrific Movies. So I went out and got you some to help you on your way.
Don't wet yourself in Fright!”


I've already wet myself several times just looking at that cover,
so I should be good to go.

“Next up, everyone needs to own something that's been on I-Mockery,
and I ain't talkin' no Pickle Hat, either. So BAM!
Second gift right there. Another cinema classic.”


I now feel as tough as 1986 would allow me to be.

“Oh, and we all f*ckin Love Christmas, so it's a good thing you didn't mess up.”


So... you're saying I didn't mess up?
Wait, it's not Christmas yet. There's still time!

“And BAM! Third gift: Christmas Lovin'.
I took a few peeks at that one, and I'm pretty confident it'll be solid gold.”


No kidding! The guy in the story's name is Baxter Remington.
BAXTER REMINGTON. Best douche millionaire name EVER!

“And another thing, we're pretty much from all over the World. I see you're from the 'states.
That means I can get you something distinctly Canadian!”

Beer?

“Then you can go on bragging that you are not racist / sexist / country-ist
because you've got a pal up in the Great White North.
Oh, and the gift isn't beer, you racist.”


Really... I'm the racist, mister pretending that you're from London?
I think not.


Wow! That's definitely not beer.


That's the good stuff!


Smooth.

“Anyhoo, I'm gonna sign-off here. If I give you any other gifts they are bonuses.”

Look, I know you're rich and all, but calling the bubble wrap a “bonus” is just mean.
That was the majority of the gifts I gave to Stonewar.
And she said she liked them!

Meanie.

“Merry Christmas,
MarioRPG

P.S. We won't HATE you if you disappear after the Secret Santa.”

Disappear? That's silly, why would I... wait.
What was in that syrup?!

Oh, crap.

So, if I've read your letter correctly, and I think I have,
after all I'm well read in all the latest fine literature.

Baxter Remington. So awesome.

In order for me to be a proper I-Mockery Forum Member™: I have to be a racist / sexist / country-ist jerk.
Who regularly wets himself (on purpose, not out of fright). A raging alcoholic, fueled completely on syrup.
And be completely obsessed with 80s cinema, toys, and of course, Baxter Remington.


Got it.

The End.


Thank you so much, MarioRPG! My gifts are awesome!
I laughed for a solid 5 minutes when I saw that book.
And I had to explain it to my friends and family, since I opened it on my birthday. :)

Hope you guys liked the story.
It was a ton of fun for me to put together.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Holy hell, I think I missed a golden opportunity not sending poppers a romance novel along with the horror flicks. Looks like Dextire isn't the only person MarioRPG needs to shape around here.

Damn Dextire, nice work on that story. :)

:lol Dextire, you're allllll right.

:lol That was awesome.

:lol Excellent! You even put a match in your mouth for the Cobra shot. Gotta love attention to detail like that...

You guys really are doing a great job with the Secret Santa event this year! Great gifts and recaps so far!

excuse me. I'm 8 at the very least

Thanks, guys! It was really fun to ham it up. :)