I-Mockery Forum - FORUM EVENT: "I-MOCKERY'S 2008 SECRET SANTA EVENT!"

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"you're good with the flag"
:lol

e: 'story' up later today

Quote:

Originally Posted by sjmck (Post 602573)

:shocked Gosh, it was so cleverly hidden, I never even noticed! I guess I'm going to have more pictures to post, then.

YOUR SARCASM HAS NO VALUE HERE MISTER

Quote:

Originally Posted by Embee90 (Post 602655)

And here is the story with my gifts. (External link because of the large amount of pictures.)

Great job Embee90! Glad some of you are really putting some effort into your stories 'n all. Most rocktacular. :O

Also...

For those of you not in the know, that's exactly what a real penis looks like.

I've spoilered my story, because it takes up a lot of space, and it makes some blue text easier to read. Enjoy.

Spoilers!

No doubt it's a box of festive cheer. Who could it possibly be from?

Golly gee, it's packed to the brim! I guess I'm supposed to read this note.

Quote:

Dear MarioRPG,
Happy Holidays.
Enclosed are a few tokens for the Season.
The Red package is a familiar size and shape I'm sure. I'm no great collector. I read and pass along with no idea of their collectible value. It may be crap or it may be a goldmine.
The green box is not for you.
It is a gift for your wife, girlfriend or mother and for you a gift of time. Trust me it's lovely. Now you don't have to stress about that.
Felicitations, Stonewar.

So... Stonewar is to thank for this bounty of booty? Thanks much! Let's open this "red package" that is allegedly "familiar".

Oh yes. Quite familiar. This shall be good reading, and perhaps spark intense intellectual thought and discussion on the matters of present-day "heroes". Or maybe it will just be entertaining. Who knows.

I move on to the next package, filled with anticipation. It was light... What could it be? Paper? Tissue? Bubble wrap? The possibilities wracked my brain. It nearly drove me to madness, Stonewar had even packed scissors to open it with.

I let my friend open it for me, lest my sanity wane further. The box was unwrapped and opened in an instant. It was...

:eek:eek:eek YES. None other than Dewey and Vanessa made by Meatwad himself. I was a little skeptical.

I quickly ran a quick comparison, and the it was spot on. Truly, Stonewar had stolen (kidnapped?) Meatwad's only friends.

I moved on to a rather unremarkable box. My gift-(un)wrapping childhood instinct kicked in, and suddenly...

A BATMAN BOP BAG. Why someone would bop batman, I'll never know.
Note: The receipt/ticket on the box had this listed as "blowup doll" and I was rather nervous to open it in mixed company - or at all.

I had my photo-shy assistant open the gift that was allegedy not for me.

Actual Dialouge:
Me: Well?
Her: There's nothing here, it's just a bunch of sticky shiny stuff.
Me: That's what she said!
Her: death glare
-silence-
Her: Oh wait, it's at the bottom of this really small box. Huh.
-silence-

A beautiful and I'm assuming original bracelet! And it's blue (which means magic, for those not aware). But will it work?

:love :love Obvs.
I guess that about wraps it up! I'll just be---

(indecipherable voice) YOU ARE GOING TO ENTER A WORLD OF PAIN.

Wha? Batman? How'd you? I mean? Wh---

(indecipherable voice)I don't take kindly to rapists.

Oh, heh. It's not like that. I mean we're---

(indecipherable voice)Shut up, scumbag, you're going away for a long time.

Come on Dewey, back me up here! You too, Vanessa!

V: ...
D: ...
Nuts to you guys! I'm telling the tru---

(indecipherable voice)Won't come quietly, eh? *throws bat boomerang*

*gurgle* Scissors... My one weakness... *blug*

(indecipherable voice)Oh shit, this is the wrong utility belt. And now I've broken my rule not to kill people, regardless that I did I the end of that movie. crapcrapcrap.

V: Ssst. Hey, check this out. Follow us.

D: Problem solved.

Merry Christmas!
P.S That batman thing is damn impossible to blow up.

I've really enjoyed these last couple of stories.

I'VE REALLY ENJOYED SENDING MY MOM OUT TO THE MAILBOX DAY AFTER DAY AND SEEING HER RETURN EMPTY-HANDED EVERY TIME, PROTOCLOWN >:

BE PREPARED TO BAN YOURSELF

Maybe the mail man froze to death or something

If Mattjack doesn't post the pictures of what I got him I am going to be ONE THOUSAND TIMES more pissed then when ItalianStereotype didn't post pictures of what I got for him. :tear

Because he should have amazing pictures if he uses all of the items properly.

I KNOW! I got CIG a dildo, and she refuses to send me pics of her using it.

I WOULD LUV TO POST PICTURES BUT MY CAMERA APPARENTLY CAN ONLY TAKE SEVEN PICTURES BEFORE RUNNING COMPLETELY OUT OF BATTERY LIFE

FUCK YOU ENERGIZER BUNNY

I have that camera. :(

7.2 mega pixels are worthless if you can only take seven pictures at a time. I just wasted a pack o' batteries.

All good though, the wait makes it that much better.

That's what Elvis said to his wife before he could fuc* her, must be true

you need to get som NiMh rechargambles yall they last for ever and plus they are rechargable

unbanned willie is like an i-mockery god

I fecking have like 100 pics but i have run out of funny

My cell phone has a 5.0 megapixel camera. I AM COOLER THAN YOU, MATTJACK.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING PRESENT YOU GAY ASS MOTHERFUCKERS GODDAMIT YOU RUINED FUCKING CHRISTMAS FUCK FUCK UFCK UFASJKDCA89J9DHUCX X>::<.; >;>; >: .:> ; >; >:> ; >:

Got my package today! Pics soon!!!

I got my package from Protoclown today :O. I just took some pics, but I won't have em uploaded until tomorrow.

Proto, YA DONE GOOD. I am finding one of the items especially useful and will surely assist in getting me some vagina tonight.

Yay, I don't have to ban myself

Hey, proto. GUESS WHO'S DRUNK?

THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH, SO I USED THE 'STACHE COMB LIKE 20 TIMES TONIGHT, AND GOT YELLED AT FOR PRODUCING "WHAT LOOKS LIKE A KNIFE."

SRSLY THO, I COMBED MY BEARD ' N LOVED IT!!!!!!!!

OH FUCK YES YOU HAVE FACIAL HAIR

hey everybody i got my package awhile ago but my camera is refusing to cooperate.... i am trying to get it to work so bear with me but I got my package from Kevashim and it is full of wonders far beyond your mere mortal comprehension

Glad to hear you liked the gifts, I put my heart and soul into picking them... well kind of!

On another note I have finally stopped visiting family members, at least until the 24th, and have taken the oppportunity to take a few snaps of my gifts from Embee90. Unfortunately they are not conducive to a story so much, but damn I really like them both.

First up we have a Freddy Krueger action figure from A Nightmare on Elm Street 5.

This bad boy is far too good to remove from the packaging and has taken up residence in a prestigious position alongisde my favourite "Army of Darkness: Ash vs Evil Ash" set.

Now really, the pièce de résistance is the second gift.

Can you believe a 'John McCain, a call to "action" figure'? His wise and steely gaze shall ever watch over my internet usage, guiding me to eternal vigilance!

Seriously though, this has to be the least poseable action figure ever. Rotatable head? Check! Leg joints? Denied! Movable arms? Check, but only if you like arms to be able to windmill! There is absolutely no chance of recreating the bad-ass pose depicted on the back of the box, which of course I immediately tried to do.

Despite all this I still think it is brilliant and heartily thank Embee90 for both of my gifts.

Fucking USPS fucked me over, not getting there till after christmas. Eh, at least its getting there.....: (