i like kurosawa films but they are so boring. I always expect his samurai films to have like cool samurai's in them but he always gays it up.

:lol I like his samurais

they're fags and they don't even look good when they swing their swords.

The only guy that looks good in Seven Samurai, from what I remember, dies a stupid and meaningless death.

Yeah, that's was the whole point.

Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that his other "samurais" looked like shit when they held their weapons.

They were not master swordsman back in Feudal Japan. That is all legend stuff. They were just guys with the right to carry swords. They waved them around in the air a lot cause threatening a peasant was much easier than killing one.

For the Samurai with wit and style I watch Lone Wolf and Cub.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lone_Wolf_and_Cub#Films

I probably couldn't physically handle a farm, but there's a japanese-style house nearby that I've been lusting after for years. It was beautiful, it even had a little stream with a footbridge. There's no way in hell I'd ever be able to afford it, but I liked to look at it and dream, you know? I thought about where I'd put weeping cherry trees (so the petals would float on the water) and that sort of thing.

Then some hicks bought it, painted the beautiful feudal-style timbers some weirdass burgundy color, and put shitty country art all over the place (like the plywood "fat woman bending over garden" cutouts).

I damn near cried. If I ever come into some huge amount of money, which will be never, I'll walk up to their front door with a wad of cash just so I can put things back to how they're supposed to be.

Well, when I said farm I mean something that has neighbors at a distance. I didn't mean to actually grow anything. Get a bunch of goats and rent them out to people.

So basically samurais weren't trained how to hold a sword ;\ And the samurai technique is non-existent.

Just like most soldiers don't really know how to hold or use their weapons and they are never trained :rolleyes

I'm pretty sure FUEDAL JAPAN is really the ONLY time-period in which samurai's were bad asses, since after feudal japan was obliterated and absolutism rose during the meiji restoration the samurai class was essentially abolished, and all swords were taken away during the great sword hunt.

What are you talking about? This is about Japan.

They locked themselves off from the whole world and never developed and their techniques. They were ruled by one Emperor on a very small Island. If there was any fighting going on it was assassination by poison, not great waves of Samurais fighting in fields of bamboo. The Samurai had nothing to do but look tough. Yeah it doesn't sound pretty, sorry. :rolleyes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sengoku_period

Japan was constantly fighting themselves. And they weren't always secluded.

They weren't always ruled by an "Emperor" either. or at least, the emperor wasn't always important. See "FEUDAL LORD."

most of the samurai were trained in the basic samurai technique and in the basic way to hold a sword.

KENDO is the name of the samurai sword technique I think. What the fuck is wrong with you? You think just because they weren't associating with the outside world means that they wouldn't have developed their own sword techniques? Stupid.
this conversation is pointless because you're either an idiot or you're acting like an idiot. Go play a samurai fighting videogame or something.

Yes they were fighting, but not with samurai, Samurai were created as cops because.. oh fuck it, why the fuck do I care if you get it right. You don't even know what Kendo is. What ever.

Board veterans will recall that weapon technology in feudal Japan was revolutionized by the advent of the Gen Bo.

Okay tadao. You win. The samurai's weren't trained how to hold their swords, there was no such thing as a sword technique or martial arts or anything, and samurais never went to war or had to fight any battles.
None.

pretty much they sat around all the time. Also japan has always been unified under one ruler and the meiji restoration is just a historical illusion created by fancy pants americans.
Whatever about kendo. KENJUTSU I GUESS IS THE APPROPRIATE NAME.

Who cares WHO the samurai were fighting? It's not like samurais can only fight other samurai's with their techniques or some shit. There are just certain ways to cut, governed by laws of physics and the anatomic structure of the person using the sword.
Also, I at least admitted that it MIGHT have been called KENDO, and this wasn't even central to anything that i said (frankly, its irrelevant). You are stating everything that you are stating as facts, when the historical details don't match.

how about some exerpts from some internet sites?:
those quotes pretty much annihilate every premise you stated. They weren't secluded. They had wars with people outside of them. Samurai were used to expand power and rights to more land. There are "master swordsmen." They had their own styles/techniques. I also found a quote saying that the right to bear swords wasn't enacted until after 1200.
You're a failure. If anyone wants to, feel free to split this into a philosophy board thread, cause i know those quotes are going to be annoying....

Uh huh. :rolleyes

Your the kinda guy that believes ninjas existed.

Tadao, buster of myths.

YOURE A BUSTER IF I EVAH SAW ONE.

i believe taodoaw on this issue because he's asian

and because if i don't he might throw an axe through me like i'm a kitchen wall

:lol Asians are the ones who perpetuate and romanticize the myths. It was the Chinese who were the great warriors and martial art experts. Mongolians in particular.

Woot for the mongolians! My ex girlfriend looked really asian so she researched her ancestry and somehow found out all Pollocks might be asian because the Mongols took them over for a few centuries.

So I might be Irish, French-Canadian and Polish-Mongolion.

Fuck you all.

The mongols ruled a lot of people it doesn't make those people asian. That's ridiculous. Germany and russia both ruled poland at some point so you might really be german russian and mongolian.

Okay i'm going to say that irish people are all actually frogs who can leap 7,0000000 feeet and native americans were actually irish people who made lucky leaps (thats why four leaf clovers have such a reputation as being lucky; the people carrying these were the ones who survived the leap and didn't land in the ocean or have their bodies crushed or accidently go into space). I have some irish ancestors and some native american ancestors (supposedly) so you should believe what I'm saying even though the facts are against it :rolleyes

Since when were mongolians and chinese the same people?
And just because chinese were "great warriors and martial art experts" doesn't mean samurais didn't have any sword techniques or martial arts. Can you please exercise some common sense before you open your dumb mouth?

:rolleyes

same to you, jackass.

I just got a spam email with the title:

WE ARE GIVING OUT GIANT COCKS


...it's the sort of thing you can't help but try and picture.

Having watched the trailer to Tom Cruise's award winning film Last Samurai several times I feel qualified to continue this discussion.

Basically Samurai were these guys in olden times with swords that would cleave jerks in twain with a single swipe. They also launched a rocket that went all the way to the moon.
I think Tom Cruise was based on a historical figure of the same name that was in charge of all the samurai or something. After the film he went on to create the Kobra Kai school of Karate which was featured in the Oscar nominated film Karate Kid.

Hope this helps clear up some of the confusion.

heh heh heh.

I might be a lot of things but I know I'm not a jerk. That ancestry seems to be taken up entirely by you.

You must've missed the memo - on the internet you have to be a jerk to everyone or you're no better than a noob, newb or worst of all nub.

:imock

I checked my internet folder. I did miss the jerk memo. Plain as day.

Now I have all my ducks in one barrel and all my jerks in one kahljorn.

IN THE INTERNET THERE IS NO LAW

Don't forget the memo for pussies: if somebody says something retarded, ignore it and give them hugs. Internet people have feelings too. Also, if somebody says something which opposes you don't forget to cry about it.

Jesus, here I am taking up the noble duty of informing you cuntswabs whatswhat and you shit all over it. WHOS THE ASSHOLE?

ps only assholes answer rhetorical questions >:

Sounds like you need a hug little lady.

hugs from flaming homosexuals are laden with lust and sexual innuendo. You'd probably just try to grab my ass or something.

who gave kahl the amphetamine? :/

I don't know but he sure sounds cranky and whiny though.

The truth about samurai is somewhere between Tadao and MM: they weren't actually any good at swordplay, but that was because they could chop people in half with a single strike. As such, little effort was put into developing a followup in case the target avoided the attack.

The real trouble came when explorers from the west arrived. At that time, the samurai were still experimenting with ways to add a second strike to their arsenal, and they were worried that they wouldn't be able to come up with one before the Europeans came in force. That's when they all decided, as a people, to start acting as though the samurai were the most feared swordsmen not just in the land, but in the entire world. The Europeans were inclined to believe them after a handful of Japanese took them to a bamboo grove to watch samurai chop down several bamboo trees with a single slash (the Europeans didn't realize that the trees were actually hollow).

But here's the most interesting part of that story: years later, Taigong Shin, the man who first proposed the idea of fooling the Europeans, left Japan to live in America. In his remaining years, he compiled his disinformation tactics into a discipline he called "PR" and passed them down to his sole disciple: Will Rogers.

I was not a samurai, and I don't know any samurais, so I have no useful input.

If you want to know about being sick a lot and making dumb pictures out of food, I'm your girl.

Need a 10,000 Volt Ghost Dog picture.

hehehe

Yea. To cut something in half with one strike requires a certain type of technique. The sword isn't just swung like a baseball bat. There is a certain way to do it. Pretty much to cut or slice or chop at all requires a technique. That is why they are called cuts, slices, chops and not just HACKing away at something.
I'm sure samurais at least learned those basic moves.

All this over my opinion that the samurais in kurosawa's films don't impress me :rolleyes

and fuck you idiots. Sorry I'm making fun of your precious vagina-antics. Why don't you go whine about it on a message board for pussies.

:rolleyes

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Martin Yan is pretty goddamn dangerous you have to admit.

He must be a Chinese Samurai!

He must've been part of secluded Japan which was ruled absolutely by an emperor and thats why it was called feudal japan because of all the control that the emperor had and also japan was never divided against itself and they never had wars.

I'm tadao I know generalizations about japanese history which are only accurate for small time-periods.

:lol Your foot stomping is amusing.

Your stupidity is amusing.

Do you even know w hat feudalism is?

You aren't my friends. Dumbass.

I wish i could find a picture of you so I could put:

Today I'm boring on the internet.

Except that would be inaccurate because you're always boring.

here are some other things I would put on a picture of you:

Today I will talk about how sick I am on the internet.


I would also like a group picture of all of you guys crying saying:
Today somebody mocked me on i-mockery boofuckinghoo.

I could could fix your misinterpretations, but I already have been down this path with you before and it's much more fun to see you act like a 5 year old in the middle of a tantrum.

I always forget that you're educated and in a position to enlighten me even though everything you've said in this thread was inaccurate.

Other ideas for a picture of kitsa:
I create food art then eat it

in that picture with her chubby snowman-like features.

If everyone sucks so much, I don't get why you're here and not doing something better.

Cause his 2 hour google education on Japan is highly valued.

:rolleyes Because it is entertaining for me to insult you? Can you try not to be so typical?
I do like some people on here. Just not you. or tadao.

When did i-mockery start harboring so many pussies?

Oh really mr. japan has always been secluded, never fought any wars with anybody, never had any internal conflict and never engaged in a ny fights with anybody. :rolleyes

Must have been sucking on some grape dick shaped popsicles.

just fucking ignore us already then.

Shut up kitsa. Why don't you ignore me if you're so refined? Why does it have to come from me, the asshole? Seems like an unreasonable and extremely stupid request.

10,000 ghost guy actually i twas like purple/black lipstick and I was trying to look like a chola but I ended up looking gothic. Also it wouldn't be necessary for it to be dickshaped in order to have that effect :rolleyes what a presumption. you always have dicks on your mind, don't you?

tadao where did you learn about japanese history? cause i learned it at a college :O :O :O

but i guess a loser on the internet would know more about japanese history than historians.

you know what's stupid and extremely annoying is when girls jump into a fight that didn't involve them for no good reason talk shit and then when they get bitch-slapped they go, "WHY DONT YOU JUST IGNORE ME." Fuck off, lady.

:lol STOMP STOMP STOMP I HATE YOU GUYS :tear

WHINEWHINEWHINE SOMEBODYMADE FUN OF ME ON THE INTERNET AND THEY WONT STOP SO THAT MUST MEAN THEY ARE ACTING CHILDISH.
Coming from a guy who used to make threads targeting people so he could bond with them, this doesn't mean much.

Squiggle all you can, tadao, it's probably about the most gracile motion you can muster given your bulbous frame.

can you guys try to think up some more compelling insults? this is lame.

:lol I thought this would be boring by now, but imagining the look on your face as you type your amazing insults is just too funny. Especially the look you must get when you think you won some argument while everyone around you is laughing at you.

And as usual you are left out of the loop. Glow knows what I mean and we had a good laugh at your expense.

Good for you and your lame internet loop.

I can only imagine the look on your face while you type out, continually, "THAT KAHLJORN IS JUST SO MEAN!"

But if I ever need makeup tips, I'm sure I'll ask you. :rolleyes

If I ever need an account of inaccurate historical details, I'll be sure to contact you.

If I were some new internet asshole on here you guys would act exactly the same towards me as I'm acting towards you right now. So quit putting on this noble charade.

and you guys would probably think I was an idiot if i kept saying, "YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN" "YOURE JUST STOMPIN AROUND LIKE A CHILD" over and over. I'm sure this message board is full of such exchanges.

who said I was refined? All the insults you've thrown at me have been ones I put out there in the first place. I know I'm fat and ugly, and if I'm boring you can fix that easily enough by ignoring me. If you can't bring yourself to hit the button, don't look at what I write.

And this is the chat thread, not a private discussion, unless you'd like to sling nonsense at Tadao for another fifteen pages.

You're acting like a petulant undergrad who's off his meds.

And I just tucked him in for his nap :(

I do generally ignore your posts, Kitsa.

Tadao and his loop sitting at their computers. Do you guys point at posts and go, "Look at what happened there?" And then you all laugh at me and go, "haha how awful of him/her/it." Woo man you guys sure are on a roll today, aren't you? Is your loop active right now? Are gonna message them up and be like, "Hey look guys I need you to laugh at him/her/it with me :C."

That's not a loop, it's a support group.

:bestthread

I'm playing Holiday in Cambodia and thinking of someone special. Guess who!

ME

ITS ME ISNT IT

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

ME!

no you dumbass dumb jerks

MILHOUSE BACKWARDS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS THE JERK

:rolleyes come on guys we all know that IM the jerk

Well, it did clear up one thing for me, anyway. The next time you want to know something out of my earlier-edition art textbook, I'll remember that it's just tolerance for my general fatness/boringness/ugliness talking and that you aren't serious.

Now you'll have to remember never to ask me! We can't have any backslide here.

also don't mention samurai!

I honestly have no idea who hates me on i-mockery. Sometimes over the years people who I thought tolerated me have surprised me.

One good thing is that I can leave for six months then come back, and people don't ask me where I have been, man.

I just assume I'm hated until told otherwise. More accurately, I assume it's that "worse than hatred" indifference, like, "I don't care enough to hate you, I don't give a shit if you live or die, bitch, that's how hardcore I am". Because everyone here has to be so extreme.

I think the most successful/interesting posters are ones like Misdemonar that remain ALL MYSTERIOUS-LIKE, because familiarity breeds contempt and so on. Also, everything is better in caps.

This is pretty close to what I have, I suppose. What a lovely community this is.


I used to think the entire internet was like this, since i-mockery was my first real interation with the online world. It actually turns out that the rest of the internet is different, and I just got unlucky on mny first shot.

Yeah, which is why there's a neverending procession of doe-eyed newcomers to rip apart.

I like Zhukov because he shares my interests in World War 2!

Talking of which have you read the book Though the Maelstrom?

I'm about half way though and so far it's great, the Eastern Front is by far the most interesting part of World War 2 as far as I'm concerned.

I like MM because he likes cats sorta. And I like Zhukov because I don't find anything about Zhukov particularly objectionable.

I didn't mean this to be a way to fish for compliments. But now that I am:

Metal Militia, I like you to.

But not as much as the Eastern Front, so I guess I will check that book out. I'm still slogging through War and Peace, but it is so much like work now that I take regular breaks to read other things. I will honestly see if I can find that. I am also impressed by your cat, your computer intelligence, and your possibly long hair.

Kitsa, I don't find anything about you objectionable either. THANKS.

It's a love-in! imockey is now pussified and our mission is complete!

FUCK YOU

:lol Yeah it was getting a little to warm and cuddly in here.

I HATE EVERYONE. >:

I didn't realize that asking you if something was in your textbook meant that we were best buddies or some shit to begin with. I don't know how you came to that conclusion at all.