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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Fathom Zero Dec 25th, 2011 02:29 AM

Kill minorities

Babs Dec 25th, 2011 02:32 AM

Happy Kwazy Kwanza SevenForce

Zhukov Dec 25th, 2011 02:46 AM

Christmas was rubbish as usual.

I didn't get anyone a single present, but managed to get a few things here and there, so that's a profit of sorts.

:xmas3

Babs Dec 25th, 2011 03:02 AM

Christmas left me completely and utterly broke. The cherry on top is that half the gifts I got for others didn't even arrive here yet even though I ordered them weeks ago.

Yup, mine was up there with being rubbish as well.

Fathom Zero Dec 25th, 2011 12:22 PM

Cookware and giftcards. Fuck yes.

Babs Dec 25th, 2011 01:49 PM

Cutlery and a vacuum.

Esuohlim Dec 25th, 2011 02:01 PM

Jeans and a calendar

Zomboid Dec 25th, 2011 02:31 PM

I got...a lot of stuff. Some highlights: blu-ray player, Longclaw replica (Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones), Deadwood, Reboot, and Tales from the Crypt complete series.

Esuohlim Dec 25th, 2011 03:22 PM

ZOMBOID MAKES ME JEALOUS EVERY YEAR :(

I wish I could get $1000+ worth of stuff I really truly want

Sam Dec 25th, 2011 04:20 PM

I GOT MARIO KART 7 AND BOOZE.

Ex Leper Dec 25th, 2011 04:28 PM

I finally got the pixel posters framed. I will take a picture when I hang them

executioneer Dec 25th, 2011 06:17 PM

got a kitchenaid mixer, now i can get SERIOUS about makin cookies :eek :eek :eek

Babs Dec 25th, 2011 07:25 PM

Can I have some... Please. Cookies?

Zomboid Dec 25th, 2011 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 752847)
ZOMBOID MAKES ME JEALOUS EVERY YEAR :(

I wish I could get $1000+ worth of stuff I really truly want

I also got some xbox games, braw! Do you have Modern Warfare 3?

Zhukov Dec 25th, 2011 09:34 PM

Prrriiiiiccccckkkk.


I got a V neck cardigan (?) and a book about Chuck Norris jokes (?!).

When I was given the cardigan, my brother laughed at me and said "Haha, only douchebags wear those!", while sitting right next to my sister's boyfriend, who was wearing an identical piece of clothing.

Highlight of the day.

Zomboid Dec 25th, 2011 09:46 PM

That's hilarious. See, you have funny memories while I only have material things.

Fathom Zero Dec 25th, 2011 09:59 PM

I spat out my drink, Zomboid. ilu bby

Zhukov Dec 25th, 2011 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 752866)
That's hilarious. See, you have funny memories while I only have material things.

The true meaning of Christmas: material things.


Let's swap.

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 25th, 2011 11:55 PM

Happy fuck day

Esuohlim Dec 26th, 2011 12:07 AM

Man, after I turned 18 it became all "fuck you son" and now all I get is clothes.

Esuohlim Dec 26th, 2011 12:13 AM

If y'all like Christmas so much then why don't you just fuckin' Merry it?

seriously

All Hail Duke Dec 26th, 2011 12:48 AM

a shirt, some candy, a cd of some band i've never heard of, new headphones, some markers and 11 canvases (some brushes too, but i can't use them)

still have to go to my cousins house when they get back in town, but i'll probably get a dvd of some shitty movie like last time

Kitsa Dec 26th, 2011 08:44 AM

a picture book of things people have shoved up their butts, a phone upgrade, and a fancy new coffee press I'm a little afraid of.

Babs Dec 26th, 2011 09:27 AM

32 degrees outside, 8 in the morning, only got 1 hour of sleep, and my dad is shitting himself to go fishing with me right now. Fuck fish.

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 26th, 2011 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 752877)
If y'all like Christmas so much then why don't you just fuckin' Merry it?

seriously

Hoohohohihohoho

ThrashO Dec 26th, 2011 04:26 PM

fishing is so goddamn boring :(

I can't believe there is a channel dedicated to the shit

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 26th, 2011 05:50 PM

I call that shit the nap channel

Kitsa Dec 26th, 2011 07:34 PM

I remember before there was cable in dorm rooms at Michigan Tech (upper Michigan), that's pretty much all you saw.

On my ittybitty portable black and white tv. :(

I hated that place.

Esuohlim Dec 27th, 2011 04:54 AM

I love how Aziz Ansari always has the WASPiest character names, like "Chet" or "Randy" or "Tom Haverford" or "Jimmy Norville"

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 27th, 2011 02:52 PM

I saw him open for Stella once, he was really unfunny. He had this one joke about ghostbusters 2 where he was all like "Ever notice how its the 2nd movie and on their car its the ecto 2 and the ghost has two fingers up??????? DO THEY KNOW THEY ARE IN THE SEQUEL?????????"

It was really hard for me to refrain from yelling at him that it was a 2nd car.....and if you make a 2nd one of something what is it possible they would name it.

Fathom Zero Dec 27th, 2011 04:02 PM

I lost it when he did the what's the difference between Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, though.

ThrashO Dec 27th, 2011 04:48 PM

I really don't like him to be honest. His stand up was shit. I think I remember like 20 minutes of it was him reading texts on his phone.

I liked him on Human Giant though. It was a sketch comedy show that used to come on after Wonder Showzen on MTV2.


Esuohlim Dec 27th, 2011 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 752968)
I liked him on Human Giant though. It was a sketch comedy show that used to come on after Wonder Showzen on MTV2.

You act like no one would know Human Giant unless you mentioned Wonder Showzen, when they're probably equally popular.

I think most of Ansari's appeal is the whole "Hey it turns out that I'm even whiter than my audience!" thing, but yeah I don't really like him much either outside of Human Giant. I definitely don't like Paul Scheer outside of Human Giant, that guy is a spaz. I've only seen a couple episodes of the League.

ThrashO Dec 27th, 2011 07:12 PM

No one I know ever knows what I'm talking about when I mention those two shows >:

The League is apparently pretty good. Comes on after Always Sunny but I never stick around for it.

milhouse stop harassing me :tear

:hangman

Chojin Dec 27th, 2011 09:15 PM

willie blocked me on fb for making inappropriate haikus about his little ponies

this is just a warning for the rest of you

a man must defend his yiff

ThrashO Dec 27th, 2011 09:29 PM

fufuck ponies

Chojin Dec 27th, 2011 09:48 PM


k0k0 Dec 27th, 2011 10:13 PM

I'm back from the mental hospital after 25 days. It was a mental home christmas. Now I'm in a group home living with 7 others. Fun stuff, I'll probably post more about everything later.

Fathom Zero Dec 27th, 2011 10:14 PM

I'm excited to hear about it.

k0k0 Dec 27th, 2011 10:41 PM

Lets just say that I enjoyed it too much for now. Was supposed to leave 10 days ago but 3 hot meals, 3 snacks, tons of groups to discuss shit and argue each day were too fun for me. They eventually pretty much kicked me out when they decided my medicines were all set up. I wanna be back in there.

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 27th, 2011 11:25 PM

I'm glad you're back koko. Paul scherer is awesome and so is the league.

:doubleguns

Pentegarn Dec 28th, 2011 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 752984)
willie blocked me on fb for making inappropriate haikus about his little ponies

this is just a warning for the rest of you

a man must defend his yiff

It was bad, and not because of the content, but because you don't know how to count to 5 then 7 then 5

Chojin Dec 28th, 2011 02:42 AM

no he deleted the actual haiku

i was proud of it

Rongi Dec 28th, 2011 04:12 AM

i deleted my fb today cuz i was like "man why do i have this this is dumb"

Rongi Dec 28th, 2011 04:26 AM

i'll probably bring it back in 4-5 days but right now fb can eat a di*k

Esuohlim Dec 28th, 2011 04:43 AM

Do people who hate facebook have terrible friends or something?

Kitsa Dec 28th, 2011 10:05 AM

I have multiple accounts because friends and family don't mix. I also had more than a few people who decided that if I was friends with someone, that meant they were friends too, and they would just randomly comment on the shit of people they didn't even know. But mostly it's all the people I hated from high school who just remembered I existed and suddenly want an extra face on their friends list.

Facebook can be trouble.

Pentegarn Dec 28th, 2011 10:38 AM

Some people think facebook is like pokemon where you have to catch em all

Those people suck

Kitsa Dec 28th, 2011 11:08 AM

I had a young nephew who was finding friends of friends, through my account, and saying "BOOOOOOOOOOOO" on various pictures. I didn't even know the people.

Chojin Dec 28th, 2011 01:00 PM

so i hear tell that i somehow chased willie off the internet with my shenanigans

but i didn't say anything i wouldn't have said to any other friend, to their face, and have them laugh about it

man up, yiffster

Zomboid Dec 28th, 2011 02:02 PM

Who told you that? And what did you say, exactly? DID YOU COMMENT ON PICTURES OF HIM AT A MY LITTLE PONY CONVENTION?

Rongi Dec 28th, 2011 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753016)
Do people who hate facebook have terrible friends or something?

nah man my friends are cool dudes i just don't really know what the point of fb is! i go on there and i look at status updates and i'm like "welp, this is what people are thinking about today" and then i sign off and later on i think "hey that was a waste of time"

Esuohlim Dec 28th, 2011 06:15 PM

You can keep up with all the fags you hated in high school and feel better about yourself for doing way better than all of them!

And most of my really good friends moved all over the place and it's the only way we consistently stay in touch.

Fathom Zero Dec 28th, 2011 06:45 PM

i inundate my friends with shitty music and alienate my family members

Kitsa Dec 28th, 2011 07:09 PM

The bad thing with me and facebook is that my mother reads everything obsessively and then tells me later what I should or should not have said/opined upon/posted a picture of. It's way more important to her than it is to me.

Dimnos Dec 28th, 2011 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 753008)
no he deleted the actual haiku

i was proud of it

Can it be recreated here? For those of us untainted by the facy-space.

Babs Dec 28th, 2011 11:40 PM

Is Willie serious about the my little pony shit?

k0k0 Dec 28th, 2011 11:40 PM

I am just sucking up the xanax and don't know how I slept without ambien. Fuck the hospital meds get me fucked up. I go to a partial hospitalization class from 9 am to 3 pm every day now and it's funny as shit. I get to argue with a bunch of people who are out of their minds.

Zhukov Dec 29th, 2011 07:44 AM

I'd like to read some inappropriate poems, whatever the topic.


Koko; good to see you back, tell us of your adventures.

Emu Dec 29th, 2011 10:52 AM

I never used my Facebook even though I had it for like 5 years. Then on Tuesday my mom was like "I saw your Facebook picture you need to get a better one!!" and I immediately deleted my account. Christmas stories.

Kitsa Dec 29th, 2011 11:17 AM

It's always great, too, when the people advising you have limited understanding of the internet itself, let alone the intricacies of Facebook. My mother regularly tells me not to mention anything on Facebook that my toddler might find embarrassing as a grownup. Even though I don't really say much, the definition of "embarrassing" is flexible enough to include my mentioning I had a bad day or that she threw a fit in a store.

Will Facebook be around when my toddler is a grownup?

Will anyone care enough to remember that my kid had a meltdown at Famous Footwear?

I'm guessing not.

Emu Dec 29th, 2011 11:35 AM

While there's some truth to the matter that anything posted on the internet never really goes away, that does imply that somebody is looking for it.

k0k0 Dec 29th, 2011 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 753072)

Koko; good to see you back, tell us of your adventures.

It's good to be back in the real world. Although I still wish I was back in the institution. People have told me that's normal after being in there for so long.

Anyways, I'll wait a bit before posting about my time because it'll be a long ass post describing a lot of mental shit. And some mundane shit too. And I just don't have the time at the moment cuz I'm going to an outpatient program every day, all day.

Oh, and I learned origami (asked some nice nurses to download a lot of origami instructions for me) and became 'that guy who does all the crazy origami'. Now I'm addicted to folding.

Esuohlim Dec 30th, 2011 04:22 AM

IF 1000 MONKEYS

TYPED UP 1000 URLS

THEY WOULD ALMOST SURELY EVENTUALLY END UP AT SHAKESPEARE.COM

Esuohlim Dec 30th, 2011 04:22 AM

hi koko :D

Rongi Dec 30th, 2011 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753137)
IF 1000 MONKEYS

TYPED UP 1000 URLS

THEY WOULD ALMOST SURELY EVENTUALLY END UP AT SHAKESPEARE.COM

did you get this off memebase or something

Rongi Dec 30th, 2011 04:32 AM

ps memedate is one of the more depressing things i've seen lately

link - http://memedates.cheezburger.com/

Kitsa Dec 30th, 2011 08:25 AM

I'm proud of everyone that no one went for the "one flew over the koko's nest" joke.

Except I guess by mentioning it I sort of did so that would make me disappointed in myself I guess.

Good on you for the origami. I got into it a while back and there's all sorts of cool shit to be made. My favorite paper is the foil-backed kind because it keeps crisp folds and you can press it thinner.

Colonel Flagg Dec 30th, 2011 09:56 AM

Origami has been a guilty pleasure of mine since elementary school. I'm pretty good at it, too, which is strange since I have practically no artistic ability whatsoever. It's probably because its so geometrical and that's like math. :nerd

Chojin Dec 30th, 2011 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 753046)
Can it be recreated here? For those of us untainted by the facy-space.

rainbow dash lifts tail
dewy moistened pony poon
fap fap fap fap fap

Esuohlim Dec 30th, 2011 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 753139)
did you get this off memebase or something

I got it from Doug Benson, nigga. Memes are for utter faggots.

Zhukov Dec 31st, 2011 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 753140)
ps memedate is one of the more depressing things i've seen lately

link - http://memedates.cheezburger.com/

Holy shit. I don't want to think about two fucks like that hooking up. That really is depressing.

Emu Dec 31st, 2011 09:27 PM

finally, i can shout DO IT FAGGOT during sex and my partner will appreciate the humor!!

Colonel Flagg Dec 31st, 2011 10:11 PM

It's the little things in life that you treasure.

k0k0 Jan 1st, 2012 12:17 AM

Happy poo year dicks. I'm starting it in a group home. How's that for a great start. I guess I gotta quit fighting it and just take the bullshit life gives. Living in a room with 2 other dudes.

Emu Jan 1st, 2012 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 753184)
It's the little things in life that you treasure.

(in the middle of fucking)

"I feel like Nyan Cat flying through space!! Finally I am no longer Forever Alone and I can DO IT FAGGOT with mai waifu while admiring DAT ASS! Truly this is a Lemon Party!"

then i kill everybody

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 1st, 2012 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 753185)
Happy poo year dicks. I'm starting it in a group home. How's that for a great start. I guess I gotta quit fighting it and just take the bullshit life gives. Living in a room with 2 other dudes.

I took this message personally because I took a shit while reading it.

k0k0 Jan 2nd, 2012 07:43 AM

Were there 2 other dudes watching?

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2012 10:48 AM

Yeah, we did a triple stacker.

Colonel Flagg Jan 2nd, 2012 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emu (Post 753190)
"I feel like Nyan Cat flying through space!! Finally I am no longer Forever Alone and I can DO IT FAGGOT with mai waifu while admiring DAT ASS! Truly this is a Lemon Party!"

I had to Google 3 times in order to understand what the eff you were talking about. :'(

Tadao Jan 2nd, 2012 03:34 PM

A semi famous comedian might be living next door to me very soon. I hope he doesn't get all depressed and blow his head off in there. I've never had to clean a murder scene in order to rent out the unit. I wonder if Kitsa has any bodily fluid cleaning advice.

Chojin Jan 2nd, 2012 04:28 PM

you should get pram maven (the homicidal maniac of portland) to move in next door, since he got kicked out of his last place after he told his roomies you were going to kill them all.

it would be the ultimate troll

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2012 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 753227)
A semi famous comedian might be living next door to me very soon. I hope he doesn't get all depressed and blow his head off in there. I've never had to clean a murder scene in order to rent out the unit. I wonder if Kitsa has any bodily fluid cleaning advice.

Me specifically?

Babs Jan 2nd, 2012 04:48 PM

Sure hope for your sake it's not Carlos Mencia.

Babs Jan 2nd, 2012 05:02 PM

or sinbad

Tadao Jan 2nd, 2012 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 753230)
you should get pram maven (the homicidal maniac of portland) to move in next door, since he got kicked out of his last place after he told his roomies you were going to kill them all.

it would be the ultimate troll

I thought about this the other day, what if Don Carlson the Mexican hating animator turned in an application for next door? I would probably have to kill him.

Kitsa, what did you use to clean up the poop on the bathroom walls? I'm sure it would clean blood and brains as well.

Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

Kitsa Jan 2nd, 2012 08:04 PM

Just when I get the shitgrenade out of my mind for a few minutes, you gotta go bring it back :(

I used bleach water, lysol, clorox wipes and tears.

Rongi Jan 2nd, 2012 09:43 PM

so I might do acid tomorrow

kahljorn Jan 2nd, 2012 09:53 PM

now u can have flashbacks of my dick too

Tadao Jan 2nd, 2012 10:07 PM

It's too cold outside to do acid

k0k0 Jan 2nd, 2012 10:42 PM

Oh, I forgot. When I was in the mental ward, I met a girl who went in there because her right hand would shake involuntarily for a couple hours a day. That's probably the best part of being in the hospital. She is a cute, tiny asian girl with an australian accent. They said it wasn't mental related and so she's going to lots of docs now who can't figure out why. Anyways, her and I have been hanging out and talking a lot. So that was the best part of going there. Plus the origami.

captain516 Jan 2nd, 2012 10:47 PM

wait then why was she there?

k0k0 Jan 2nd, 2012 10:51 PM

Because the doctor said her shaking hands was due to anxiety and to check into there. The docs in the facility said it wasn't anxiety, she got checked out.

captain516 Jan 2nd, 2012 10:59 PM

ohhh..are your roommates ok at least?

AChimp Jan 2nd, 2012 11:00 PM

My grandfather had a stroke and his hand shook slightly for the rest of his life! :O

Colonel Flagg Jan 2nd, 2012 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 753234)
Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

:lol

Colonel Flagg Jan 2nd, 2012 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 753236)
I used bleach water, lysol, clorox wipes and tears.

Tears; the secret ingredient!

k0k0 Jan 2nd, 2012 11:09 PM

My current roommates... one talks to 10 story tall angels, one of whom is named snowflake. The other takes 5 seconds after you ask a question to respond, and when he does it's something like "really...is that right?". Yeah, they're ok.

k0k0 Jan 2nd, 2012 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AChimp (Post 753250)
My grandfather had a stroke and his hand shook slightly for the rest of his life! :O

The good thing about that is that you never need to wake that person up to get a hj.

Kitsa Jan 3rd, 2012 12:10 AM

I'm surprised she got out of there without an EMG.


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