Dogs.
 

FROM WIKIPEDIA:
"These dogs can be stubborn and jealous. They are childlike and can be opinionated at times. Do not expect this dog to come when it is called. Pekes are sometimes aggressive, especially to other dogs. It may take a long time for Pekes to get used to any other dogs except puppies, mates, and siblings. However, Pekes can be properly socialized with dogs and other types of pets and can become fast friends. The Pekingese personality has been compared to a cat, although this isn't quite right. It simply doesn't realize that it is a dog and would not like to be treated as such. Where a cat can be trained, a Pekingese needs to be convinced that the training is beneficial to the dog and the owner."

"The Pekingese is a large dog in a small body. It expects to be respected and will not tolerate being treated otherwise."

"A combination of regal dignity, intelligence, courageousness and self-importance make for a good natured, opinionated and affectionate companion to those who have earned its respect."


In summary: THESE DOGS ARE ASSHOLES.

..

or one of those remote control electroshock collars

that's not a bad idea.

this little buttfucker tried to hide under me the other day by going under the bed and there's no way to get him out of there since there's so much shit under that bed.

so i grabbed one of the guns (also under the bed) and told him i'd be waiting for him in the living room.

yes i talk to dogs as though they understand.

Get a cattle prod.

http://www.redhillgeneralstore.com/prod.htm

He weighs 8 pounds!

Rocks?

i'll just let his momma beat him.

Get "cat in heat" urine, pour in on him, then lock him in a room with a bunch of male cats.

shit, if there was a room full of cats, my girlfriend would turn it into a gas chamber.

Since when is Wikipedia reliable?

From my limited experience with Pekingese (ie the two in the picture), wikipedia is spot-on, here.

However, I'd never refer to a dog as a "Peke."

It's Pekingese! Or if my girlfriend's trying to be cute, Peke-O-Nese.

I have a Standard Poodle and she thinks she's a horse.

LESS AAARG STORIES AND MORE KITSA ANECDOTES

nooooo

The best answer to any dog problem.

Bite one of their ears off.

Treat one really good and the other really bad. Then the one who's treated bad will be jealous of the one treated good, and they'll fight with each other. Or ignore one all together, "Wow, life has been great ever since NAME died" or you could call their name like you're gonna give 'em a treat or something and pretend you can't see them when they come, remember to keep calling them. My dog hates that last one.

Hahaha, sweet. Well only one of the two in the picture is ours, the other is my girlfriend's parents.

Her parent's dog gets pissed off very quickly. It's very particular. If you're in bed, he'll come up to go to sleep next to you. She prettymuch has to spoon the dog, also put his body under the covers. If not, it'll make a little noise and go sit at the food of the bed and stare at her.

That dog is extremely irritating when you're trying to sleep. Luckily we almost never have to deal with him.

Ours just wakes us up to licking our faces obsessively. Also if you piss him off he'll throw up. He gets his ass beat for that.

They are horses.

Yeah :(

I'm not a fan of the poodle.

aarg is an awful dog owner.

How so?

i notice that people who complain about the way their dogs behave means they are stupid dog owners.