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-   -   Online chess players? (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18702)

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2011 12:45 PM

You should pick up on hot librarian chicks. Then when you get their number be all like "checkmate."

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2011 01:59 PM

Flagg timed out. I think he went on vacation. I don't think he knows about vacation mode.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2011 05:26 PM

GW is way better at this than I thought. Color me suspicious.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2011 07:02 PM

That s cuz you play on 1 day rules

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2011 02:27 AM

hahahahaaha, ill say checkmate in the most douchebaggest way possible so that they'll be all, "..what" and totally regret giving me their number

Guitar Woman Jun 23rd, 2011 07:21 PM

Still undefeated, faggots.

LINE UP FOR YOUR SKULL BASHINGS.

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2011 07:28 PM

but you have a red pickle.

Guitar Woman Jun 23rd, 2011 07:35 PM

The very same red pickle awarded by the king of Prussia for feats of strategic brilliance

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2011 07:55 PM

DONT MAKE ME SIGN UP FR AN ACCOUNT

Esuohlim Jun 23rd, 2011 07:59 PM

GW I don't know your name on chess.com so find me and challenge me motherfucker

kahljorn Jun 23rd, 2011 08:14 PM

WE SHOULD PLAY FOR PICKLES

Colonel Flagg Jun 23rd, 2011 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 727645)
I'm still playing the same game against Flagg since last Thursday. Checkmate's in only about two moves but he's been gone all day.

Sorry, was stuck in PHL all effing day trying to go on vacation. I'll tell you all about it in another thread.

In three words, F*** US AIRWAYS. >:

Colonel Flagg Jun 23rd, 2011 10:57 PM

Uh wutz vacation mode? :dunce

Tadao Jun 24th, 2011 11:20 AM

You earn vacation days, like 1 day every 2 weeks. If you go into your control panel you can switch your status to vacation. At least thats what I read.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 24th, 2011 02:20 PM

I don't think you get paid still though.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 24th, 2011 11:27 PM

This guy is playing his guitar through a gameboyat this bar and its super hard to concentrate.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 25th, 2011 01:32 AM

I forgot trophies come with forlorn anxiety and have been teading through then all. I just want to give a general fuck you to everyone. but especially you! And your folk.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 27th, 2011 06:43 PM

Tournament?

Tadao Jun 27th, 2011 06:52 PM

I'm gonna try a tourny when I get back.

Tadao Jul 19th, 2011 12:59 PM

VACATION MODE PEOPLE, IT'S EASY TO USE.

Colonel Flagg Jul 20th, 2011 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 728652)
I'm gonna try a tourny when I get back.

I was thinking about that too .....

Is it worth it to upgrade (i.e. pay for) my membership?

Tadao Jul 20th, 2011 01:04 PM

Oh, I thought free people can play tourny's IDK. I haven't tried yet :lol

On a side note, I like the 960 games. After you beat me Flagg, I'm gonna challenge you with a 960.

k0k0 Jul 20th, 2011 09:14 PM

You guys call me dweeby, but you're all playing chess. All I do is take old video games and put cocks in them.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 20th, 2011 11:09 PM

I forgot about vacation mode and lost a ton of games I think.

Tadao Jul 21st, 2011 01:59 AM

Every chess piece is penis shaped.

Esuohlim Jul 21st, 2011 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 732839)
I forgot about vacation mode and lost a ton of games I think.

NO COMPLAINTS HERE

Colonel Flagg Jul 21st, 2011 09:33 PM

Chess 960 is ... ummmm ... interesting to say the least.

Colonel Flagg Jul 21st, 2011 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 732876)
Every chess piece is penis shaped.

Even the Queen. :eek

k0k0 Jul 21st, 2011 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 732876)
Every chess piece is penis shaped.

Cockmate

Shyandquietguy Jul 23rd, 2011 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 732876)
Every chess piece is penis shaped.

Well, it is a game of war.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 12:13 AM

N
S
F
W
!
!
!
http://www.lovechess.com/

but holy shit, salvage :lol

Tadao Jul 25th, 2011 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 732773)
I was thinking about that too .....

Is it worth it to upgrade (i.e. pay for) my membership?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 732776)
Oh, I thought free people can play tourny's IDK. I haven't tried yet :lol

On a side note, I like the 960 games. After you beat me Flagg, I'm gonna challenge you with a 960.

I just joined a touny and it seems to be free.

Esuohlim Jul 28th, 2011 04:58 PM

My game with Tadao ended last night after, literally, 40 days and 40 nights

I celebrated by finally masturbating again

Tadao Jul 28th, 2011 11:47 PM

I think I took a week vacation during that game :O

Shyandquietguy Jul 31st, 2011 07:02 PM

I did not realize there was a conditional move option. :O

This opens up a whole new realm of awesomeness!

I propose the bastard son of Christ and new supreme Satan is the one who can win with a conditional line of moves on the last half of the game.

Colonel Flagg Aug 1st, 2011 11:19 AM

Yes, I just figured that out during my 960 game with Tadao.

Tadao Aug 1st, 2011 02:30 PM

My tourny starts today :eek

Tadao Aug 3rd, 2011 01:59 PM

I just noticed that Chess 960 has it's own ranking. THANK GOD FOR THAT.

Colonel Flagg Aug 3rd, 2011 03:05 PM

:lol

Tadao Aug 7th, 2011 09:31 PM

Sometimes I feel like I'm pretty good a chess, then a knight takes my queen because I'm not paying attention. :(

Esuohlim Aug 7th, 2011 09:34 PM

You just caught me in a trap where either my rook goes or my bishop goes and you moved out of the way to put me in check instead of taking the bishop and putting me in check. :CONFUSED

Also, chess.com is the only reason I know Pub is still alive right now

Tadao Aug 7th, 2011 09:38 PM

SEE!

Colonel Flagg Aug 7th, 2011 10:30 PM

F*** chess I've been playing like crap today. >:

Esuohlim Aug 13th, 2011 10:56 PM

I just got caught in a Conditional Move loop in my game against shyandquietguy. That never happened before and IT FREAKED ME OUT :(

Shyandquietguy Aug 13th, 2011 10:58 PM

:lol I was doing a longer one for about five minutes straight until you logged on.

Esuohlim Aug 18th, 2011 11:01 PM

Don't you love it when you hit "submit move" at the very instant you realize that it was the shittest move ever? >:

Grislygus Aug 18th, 2011 11:39 PM

OH, YOU MEAN EVERY MOVE I'VE EVER MADE?

Fathom Zero Aug 18th, 2011 11:40 PM

Anyone want to play Go? :lol

Tadao Aug 19th, 2011 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 738660)
Don't you love it when you hit "submit move" at the very instant you realize that it was the shittest move ever? >:

I fucking do that every time :(

Esuohlim Aug 19th, 2011 01:10 AM

I was giving Flagg a run for his money and then I suddenly did something extremely stupid :(

Also GW is too goddamn good and I just want to trounce that ****** >:

Colonel Flagg Aug 19th, 2011 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 738688)
I was giving Flagg a run for his money and then I suddenly did something extremely stupid :(

I was wondering what happened ....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Also GW is too goddamn good and I just want to trounce that ****** >:

I'm trying to trick him into a draw :notbloodylikely

Colonel Flagg Aug 20th, 2011 11:53 AM

10KVG is also too damned good. :(

kahljorn Aug 21st, 2011 11:10 PM

thats what you guys get for playing chess with a vulcan ;/

Shyandquietguy Aug 21st, 2011 11:26 PM

Jesus fucking Christ make a god damn account already Kahl.

I'm sick of just politely saying good game every now and then for no appearent reason.

kahljorn Aug 22nd, 2011 05:02 AM

i would but i dont want to lose my reputation as a smart person

Colonel Flagg Aug 22nd, 2011 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 739088)
thats what you guys get for playing chess with a vulcan ;/

I would estimate the odds at winning as 3,768.7 to 1

Colonel Flagg Aug 25th, 2011 10:02 PM

What do you all think of that "Tactics Trainer" thing?

I began by losing points at a prodigious rate, bottoming out in the mid 600's, and have since gradually increased my rating to a (maybe) respectable 870-ish. As my rating increases, I find the difficulty of the problems increases, but at a gradual rate.

I believe it is helping my game, if only to enable me to recognize certain game situations for what they are.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 25th, 2011 10:08 PM

Is it free?

Colonel Flagg Aug 25th, 2011 10:20 PM

Yes, 3 scenarios per day. Of course, if you PAY you get unlimited access. Eff that, 3 tactics is about all I can handle in a 24 hour period!

Esuohlim Aug 25th, 2011 11:32 PM

Tactics Trainer makes me mad when it's a puzzle with about 25 pieces still on the board and there's four moves to solve it. It's like, come on

Esuohlim Aug 25th, 2011 11:56 PM

Holy crap Flagg that was the meanest checkmate ever :(

Tadao Aug 26th, 2011 01:09 AM

Man, I hate chess now. >:

Colonel Flagg Aug 26th, 2011 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 739594)
Holy crap Flagg that was the meanest checkmate ever :(

Would you believe I was planning that for about 4 moves? ;)

Colonel Flagg Aug 26th, 2011 11:57 PM

I just made a stupid move against GW - and I know he will make me pay for it. :(

Colonel Flagg Aug 26th, 2011 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 739589)
Tactics Trainer makes me mad when it's a puzzle with about 25 pieces still on the board and there's four moves to solve it. It's like, come on

I just did one like that (oodles of pieces, 4 moves), and it didn't even end in checkmate! WTF??

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 27th, 2011 02:54 AM

Is gw genuine saucy?

ConditionalMove- yeah he is

:highfive

Guitar Woman Aug 27th, 2011 03:05 AM

What does that conditional move shit even do? I wasn't aware it was a thing until like 5 minutes ago.

Esuohlim Aug 27th, 2011 03:46 AM

You can set up future moves based on your opponent's anticipated move. For instance, it was obvious that your next move in our game was to take the rook so I set up my next move after that to save time

Tadao Aug 30th, 2011 04:53 AM

Unlimited tactic trainer here.

http://chesstempo.com/

Colonel Flagg Aug 30th, 2011 06:25 AM

I'm good for only 3 at a shot anyway. :shortattentionspan

Colonel Flagg Sep 2nd, 2011 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 738688)
I was giving Flagg a run for his money and then I suddenly did something extremely stupid :(

Right back atcha, bro. :explode

Esuohlim Sep 6th, 2011 05:28 AM

Flagg sometimes I like to be treated to dinner or a movie before my DAILY ANAL RAPE

Colonel Flagg Sep 6th, 2011 01:33 PM

Next time, a reach-around. I promise.

Tadao Sep 6th, 2011 02:15 PM

Dear Milhouse :


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 6th, 2011 02:57 PM

I'm employing this new dynamic pawn only technique against milhouse.

Colonel Flagg Sep 6th, 2011 03:03 PM

Color me interested. Here comes a challenge....

Tadao Sep 10th, 2011 05:59 PM

I love it when conditional moves work. :lol Makes the other person all paranoid.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 10th, 2011 07:00 PM

How dare you.

You better hide your queens. Hide your pawns.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2011 07:08 PM

I already predicted your next move! :eek

kahljorn Sep 10th, 2011 07:47 PM

hide your queens hide your pawns hide your king cause we're rapin everyone up in here

:(

Colonel Flagg Sep 10th, 2011 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 741383)
I already predicted your next move! :eek

And I knew you were going to say that. :Psychic

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 11th, 2011 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 741383)
I already predicted your next move! :eek

With your high society premium account. I'm on to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 741387)
hide your queens hide your pawns hide your king cause we're rapin everyone up in here

:(

:lo:(

Tadao Sep 11th, 2011 02:04 AM

I don't have a premium account nigga.

Pentegarn Sep 11th, 2011 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 741387)
hide your queens hide your pawns hide your king cause we're rapin everyone up in here

:(

So you're saying you're climbin' on my chessboard and snatchin' my pawns up?

Colonel Flagg Sep 11th, 2011 09:32 AM

Why do they call it "Chess 960"?

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 12th, 2011 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 741405)
I don't have a premium account nigga.

How'd you do two conditional moves in a tow then guido?

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 12:19 PM

"THE JIG IS UP" indeed. >:

Tadao Sep 12th, 2011 12:38 PM

You can do two, you just can't do two separate lines. nigga

Also, I would have a white crown next to my name if I was premium. nigga

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 02:26 PM

You could be "double-secret" premium. :pirate

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 12th, 2011 03:08 PM

YEAH! What if it IS double secret???

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 12th, 2011 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 741610)
You can do two, you just can't do two separate lines. nigga

Also, I would have a white crown next to my name if I was premium. nigga

If we do this, there's gonna be two hits. Me hitting you, and Kid Rock's Bawitdaba playing in the background.

Colonel Flagg Sep 13th, 2011 12:18 AM

That's just WRONG! :(

Tadao Sep 13th, 2011 01:20 PM

All I hear is the sweet checkmate music.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 13th, 2011 03:14 PM

You must hear that coming out of my speaker then.

Esuohlim Sep 13th, 2011 03:14 PM

I forgot to go on vacation mode :lol

YOU WERE ALL SPARED A MIGHTY BEATDOWN

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 13th, 2011 03:19 PM

I was wondering what happened.

THANK YOU FOR SPARING US.

Colonel Flagg Sep 13th, 2011 03:20 PM

@ 10K - Gotcha! :picklehat

Colonel Flagg Sep 13th, 2011 03:22 PM

Took me long enough. You're one tough playa.

Colonel Flagg Sep 13th, 2011 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 741746)
I forgot to go on vacation mode :lol

YOU WERE ALL SPARED A MIGHTY BEATDOWN

You had me on the ropes. :chatter

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 13th, 2011 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 741749)
@ 10K - Gotcha! :picklehat

I went to check on the game and I was like "What?!?!?!"

Good game Flagg, I thought you were moving the rook out of the forks way. Instead you were moving in for the kill.

Flagg now has it coming out the speakers.


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