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-   -   Serious Question: Is there a wrong way to Masturbate? (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4893)

Marble Jul 28th, 2003 05:26 PM

Serious Question: Is there a wrong way to Masturbate?
 
When i jerk off, i rub my penis up against my left thigh...

But when other guys at my work joke around about how they make that up and down movement... i know what they mean, but i can't get off doing that.

And i don't wanna do it the wrong way so when i get into the sack i don't rub my penor against the girls leg!

Is there a wrong way to Masturbate?

KILLADEUCE Jul 28th, 2003 05:31 PM

Right. Wrong. It's all just an end to a means. Whatever floats you're boat is the right way i guess hehehe

Marble Jul 28th, 2003 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KILLADEUCE
Right. Wrong. It's all just an end to a means. Whatever floats you're boat is the right way i guess hehehe

But... isn't it about what floats her boat? I'm not sure if i can get off going up and down... see what i mean?

pjalne Jul 28th, 2003 05:42 PM

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T GET OFF SHE'LL BE HAPPY WON'T SHE? >:

AChimp Jul 28th, 2003 05:53 PM

Sandpaper is the wrong way. :(

Jeanette X Jul 28th, 2003 06:07 PM

Fucking a vagina is a lot different than fucking your fist. It shouldn't be a problem.

Royal Tenenbaum Jul 28th, 2003 07:18 PM

See a doctor.

KILLADEUCE Jul 28th, 2003 07:49 PM

Quote:

But... isn't it about what floats her boat?
Normally i would agree with you 110% and go into a long winded rant about the amusement i get out of giving my Gf oral sex and how i love to watch her squirm, but after this last relationship i just got outa- Nah....

At least for the time being it's all about WHAT I WANT-

Cap'n Crunch Jul 28th, 2003 08:04 PM

Re: Serious Question: Is there a wrong way to Masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Marble
But when other guys at my work joke around about how they make that up and down movement...

I hope you don't work at any fast food place. LOL

Esuohlim Jul 28th, 2003 08:26 PM

"Day-Care Center" or "Retirement Home" would have been funnier. >:

whoreable Jul 28th, 2003 08:27 PM

OR A SPERM BANK :x

Marble Jul 28th, 2003 08:54 PM

Re: Serious Question: Is there a wrong way to Masturbate?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cap'n Crunch
Quote:

Originally Posted by Marble
But when other guys at my work joke around about how they make that up and down movement...

I hope you don't work at any fast food place. LOL

Dairy Queen. When we blend the blizzards... lol, i was being taught how to do it... "jerk the cup up and down REAL fast, like at home, ha, *nudges* ha, catch my drift"


Yeah, i suppose shit should work out... but i dunno, i'm not fucking my fist, just my thigh... god...

Cap'n Crunch Jul 28th, 2003 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
"Day-Care Center" or "Retirement Home" would have been funnier. >:

Dairy Queen. :lol

Esuohlim Jul 28th, 2003 09:23 PM

FUCKING SIGH

Protoclown Jul 29th, 2003 02:21 AM

Use a knife.

Cosmo Electrolux Jul 29th, 2003 07:57 AM

if you make several small incisions in your weenster with a razor and then pour alcohol on it, it will enhance the orgasm....yeah.

The Retro Kat Jul 29th, 2003 02:09 PM

You crazy fucking goth.

Marble Jul 29th, 2003 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Retro Kat
You crazy fucking goth.


Huh?

Esuohlim Jul 29th, 2003 07:58 PM

IT'S SHUT UP TIME FOR MARBLE NOW >:

The_voice_of_reason Jul 30th, 2003 02:23 AM

Milhouse is the wrong way to masterbate >:

Marble Jul 30th, 2003 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
IT'S SHUT UP TIME FOR MARBLE NOW >:

You don't know who the hell youre talking to, bitch.

agroskaterik Jul 30th, 2003 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
IT'S SHUT UP TIME FOR MARBLE NOW >:


Daphne Jul 30th, 2003 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marble
You don't know who the hell youre talking to, bitch.

Yeah he does, you're the guy who doesn't know how to jerk off.

I wouldn't worry too much, Milhouse. If he chases you his dink will rub against his thigh and he'll be distracted and forget to kill you :)

Bennett Jul 30th, 2003 04:24 PM

use peanut-butter cups

FS Jul 30th, 2003 05:41 PM

In fairness, what Marble is talking about is the elusive rubbing maneuver that few men know of. One can rub the cockhead against thigh, stomach or more logically, the palm of a hand. Applying saliva can prevent the cockhead from going numb or painful.
It produces pretty much the same results as the jacking maneuver, except that it takes longer and is a lot more intense. Plus it might not be possible for circumsized men if their cockhead is indeed less less sensitive than with uncircumsized men, but I don't know that. It might just take them even longer.

However, one does not negate the other. You might not immediately get results with the jacking motion if you try it now, but practice makes perfect. It's all stimulating the same organ.

Now I wonder if there will suddenly be a great deal less guys online for the coming weeks.


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