HOLY MOLARS! MY SECRET SANTA GIFT CAME TODAY! Taking pictures in the morning!

p.s. I sent my SS gift yesterday. Should arrive in a couple of days.

Glad you liked your gifts Pharmasweaves.

I had never seen those cards before and from one pic i found online they
look pretty cool.
the stocking itself is priceless, i needed something to put the candy in
and was feeling creative so i slapped it together with my mad sewing skills.
priceless that's synonymous with worthless right?

as for the r/c Mario cart i was thinking Toad is the best right? it was him
or Peach and i didn't want you to think i was fucking with you by sending you
peach even though that's the one i wanted.

the knife thing i figured would be good practice for if you ever go to
jail, you'll be able to build the nicest shank on your cell block.

and the scribble on the tmnt book is from Kevin Eastman.

well i absolutely loved the whole thing taco, either one probably woulda been aight, i always play as either princess peach or toad when i play mario cart anyway. and as for saying both girlfriend and wife in my post, im still relatively a newlywed so im still getting used to saying wife haha

the sewed stocking was awesome i can use it for christmas to get more candy from the wife hehe

also i was sorta guessing the signature was from eastman, did you get it signed personally cuz then i kinda feel bad for taking it from ya

Yea i had him sign two at the San Diego Comic Con earlier this year, so don't worry about me. glad you like it.

Really awesome gifts so far people! :xmas1

Wow... you guys are seriously going above and beyond the call of Secret Santa duty! You've pretty much ruined Christmas for your recipients, because there's no way the gifts that Santa brings 'em later this month will compare to what you sent. o.O

Hey Paul aka Harry Lime. :)
I am so glad you enjoyed your SS haul. :D
I loved putting it together. I hope you enjoy it all. :)
Don't you love that stress ball? I am totally going to get myself one. :D
Cheers!

.....

I would have posted a picture of my SS haul sooner but last night we got some crazy ass storm that knocked the power out while I was setting up my shot. But ... perhaps... it was divine intervention because while I got 2 packages yesterday... surprise I got a 3rd today. :)

So, I know my picture isn't as elaborate but it's simple, telling, and thank you Nick for my prezzies. :D SO COOL! :D

I got my SS package from Stonewar! Unfortunately I'm stuck with a nasty cold at the moment, so I'll spare you all my disease-ridden face and stick with the amazing swag.



First up is a Cool Gear chiller cup filled to the brim with what I believe is every kind of Hershey's Kisses ever made.
Candy Cane, Mint Truffle, Cherry filled and more, and all very tasty.



Stonewar explained in the very nice card that "Dorothy Lynch" salad dressing is the closest thing to an "exotic" drink in the mid-west. Well I've never heard of it, so it's exotic to me.
And it's good stuff too, and will make a fine marinade for my chicken quesadillas.



Next up, socks! And not just any cheap socks. These are "Cushioned Cotton Thermal" socks made by Stanley that are guaranteed to stay socks (for a year).
I'm not sure what they turn into after a year, maybe a power tool or something.



And finally, two movies! Let me just say that Stonewar knows my taste in films. Though I've never seen the remake of The Hitcher, it definitely looks right up my alley.
And while I've seen The Producers many, many times, I've never actually owned it.



Thanks Stonewar! This stuff is awesome!
Merry Christmas, everyone! :xmas3

You get the non musical version of The Producers which is the best one to get

My recipient should be getting their parcel today according to the lady at the post office who mailed it out for me (I tried checking the tracking number, but apparently they're useless if things are leaving the country. All it told me was that the parcel left my country on the 6th of December... WTH?)

The majority of all items shipped to international recipients are unable to be tracked beyond our own border. Most foreign postal carriers can not transmit data to the American USPS computer tracking systems because they operate on totally different processing platforms. Much less, they don't have permitted access to the USPS computer system itself. The exception are secured / express packages that cost a fortune to ship. These special packages are usually shipped through a means that has the USPS involved nearly every step of the way - at least in some small capacity. Hence, they have the ability to provide tracking information. This is the reason for the increased cost, though.

Oh yeah; my gift is on its way to its mystery recipient! I hope he likes it :E

That said they should update and tell you when they get delivered. or if there's a problem. at least that's what canada post does.

Again, there's no way to report information on tracking or delivery status - even if they wanted to. Short of secured / express mail, that's just the risk of sending things internationally. Admittedly, the risk is small, though. I've never had an issue with a package sent to an international recipient not arriving. I guess this is just one area where Canada has the USA beat.

After eating all the candy out of last years secret santa and then having to scramble for more at last minute to replace it. I decided this year to buy the candy for me and then share a little with my then unknown recipient. Everytime I bought a bag of Kisses since Thanksgiving a handfull was set aside.

401k chocolate.

Agreed. But at least this one made the most sense of the Brooks films to turn into a musical.
Ah, I was wondering about that as I've never seen a Kisses variety pack. Much less one that had so many different kinds. :xmas1

Nice haul, Replicant. And you have one hell of an awesome display shelf. :love

I just received a shipment of Christmas awesome from Dextire. Short response: Holy Shit! :eek

Suddenly my gifts to him last year seam like crap. :lol Pics to come.

I hoped you enjoy the gifts, Replicant. I tried to find get you something you'd like according to the interests you posted. Merry Christmas!

Oh come on, Godzilla movies could never be considered anything less than awesome. :xmas1
Glad the package made it in (hopefully) one piece though. I was starting to get worried, as the tracking number was still stuck on the 6th until about an hour ago. :lol

I did, Nick! Thanks! I am proudly sporting the buttons. Started reading the book today. hehe

:rock

I got my secret santa package today but I have to get a haircut first, then open it up after.

I hope your gift is worth all the stress you have been through.

I discovered a packaged jammed in my mailbox from Pharmaweaves.




Looks interesting. I try it after I finish my current book.
Thanks a lot. Merry Christmas, Pharma

(did I do it first try?)

EDIT: WOO HOO. I did. I have conquered posting photos finally!

Today after work I received my package from The Punk Hippie
+ Jay & Silent Bob: Talking Jay Figure (Circa 1998): Includes a dog with a giant penis
+ 3 Ren & Stimpy Buttons: Perfect since I'm attempting to fill a bulletin board with them
+ Custom Pee-wee's Playhouse Magnets: Very cute and well drawn.

Not Shown
+ Box of Smarties (Canadian M&MS)
+ 4 rolls of Rockets (Canadian Smarties)



Thank your for your great gift choices.

My Secret Santa was Ex Leper, and boy was he kind to this guy. Seriously, the gifts he sent me are some of the best I've ever received in a Secret Santa event. I received three packages throughout this past week.



The first packaged hid this fine publication inside! Ex Leper obviously knew I liked zombies, because this book gives great in-depth reviews on all things zombie -- books, movies, graphic novels, etc. Suh-weeeeet!



From there, I received my largest package in the middle of this week. And boy was it packed chock full of goodies! And yes, he packed it with VHS tape ribbon - genius!








I got everything from some keen classic VHS tapes to some sweet Rocky Horror Bendables. Dead Pit is a great gory zombie flick from the 80's and Gamera is one of my favorites... something about a giant turtle with rockets for feet that just rules! My two Collies were all over the severed killer hand prop... no no puppies, this toy is not for you! The Reefer Madness matchbox is awesome and fully functional -- it's even full of matches! I also got three DVD's chock full of great and odd Christmas Cartoons -- can't beat that! The Last Christmas graphic novel is something I've been meaning to buy and read for a while, so another solid score! Even more hilarious -- the word search at the bottom of the box. That's just... twisted... in a good way! Mmmmm... Zach Braff... dreamy. Perhaps the icing on the cake was the luchador mask... but we'll come back to that in a minute.





The next package was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Not only would I get one dose of Gamera for Christmas, but I'd get TWO! That's right, Ex Leper hooked me up with the entire 90's Gamera trilogy on Blu-Ray. I literally went out and bought my first Blu-Ray player because of this gift. And for the grand finale... some very sweet Cthulhu dice. Needless to say, I'll carry the Great One in my pocket at all times for safe keeping... and some illicit gambling!

Now back to that luchador mask...






On this day... I will be known far and wide as the greatest of all luchadors. I am... Cabeza Enorme!

Thank you so much Ex Leper - you get my vote for Secret Santa of the Year!

I'm so glad you enjoyed your packages :bow

UPDATE: Here is a video of the action figure talking

Cthulu Dice is actually a quick fun game! My buddies and would play a few matches between classes earlier this year.

So I found this mysterious package in my mail box earlier, so like with every other package I find, I ripped it open.




It was my SS gift from none other than MrSmiley381!



Here's the letter he sent with it. He sure was right on the money!



He gave me some wonder toys from my kitty cat, along with two dvds. He must be psychic, because Puppet Master is one of my all time film series! He was even nice enough to only give me the first three(you know, the good ones?) and a copy of As Good As It Gets, which I've never watched before.



My cat loved absolutely loved his gifts!



Thank you so much, MrSmiley381! Merry Christmas from me and Thomas!

Now that's a haul, Thanos! Nice going, Ex Leper! :xmas1
I like the photo of your dogs "attacking" you, oh large cranium one. :lol

The Santa Train is still going strong up in this piece.

That mask fits you so well and looks so awesome, i think the choice is
clear, leave your old life behind and become a Mexican wrestler.

Thanks dextire! :) hehe :) You can see it the picture but I have Cthulu bobblehead. My patron saint. Hubs gave me him for my b-day last year. hehe

Nice SS haul people! I love that Lucha mask! The book on zombies you got... got to find me that. LOVE ZOMBIES!

GUESS WHAT IIIIIIII GOT XD

There was a knock on the door today, & the upstairs neighbor had a package for me (wow that sounds dirty)
I didn't even know there were deliveries on Sunday, I guess it's a good thing I didn't go out shopping today :D


Anyways, onto the pictures
I got THE BEST GIFT EVAR
seriously, I spent 5 minutes going 'ohmygodohmygodohmygod' before I'd even show my fiance what I was looking at


Seriously, if this was the ONLY thing in the package, my Christmas would have been complete :D (out of all the games I listed, DOTT has always been my top favourite)

Which is good, because it made up for this


I know I'm a girl & all, but REALLY? *LOL*
(I assume there's a reason for it, so I'll read it, but I'm skeptical. Heck, put ANYTHING in graphic novel form & I'd probably read it... I have a bit of an obsession ;D)
There were some other awesome random comics though, which I'm looking forward to reading - James Bond 007 Permission To Die, Spaceman, & Predator VS Magnus Robot Fighter


so Thank You MarioRPG for this awesome haul! :D

Cthulhu loves all.

I finally got to open my package I received from my secret santa



Merry christmas :)

Thank you very much Thanos

Glad everything was to your liking 10,000 Volt Ghost. I had to do a little digging to figure out what kind of stuff you were into. Looks like it paid off.

Now make sure you're growing just catnip in that terrarium, eh? ;-)

Lol. I will. I don't know why everyone gives me drugs for secret santa

Ah yes, I forgot you once got pure Colombian cocaine from Babs that one year

Glad you like the poster Punk Hippie! That Day Of The Tentacle poster is actually something I already owned, so I hope you treat it right (I have a bare spot on my wall now).

I'd say I feel bad for stealing your poster, but it's too awesome that I can't :D
(I WAS wondering how you would find something like that however, so that answers that question)

Oooh, Christmas Cheer! Does that mean I'm going to be getting the drugs that 10,000 Volt Ghost isn't this year? :D

Glad you liked the stuff! I honestly feel like I've been outdone by all the other Secret Santas in the thread, but I did my best to grab you stuff based on your interests from the corresponding event thread. My friend insisted on the cat laser, so I hope it works. Puppet Master was a lucky guess and I'll agree that after the third movie it all goes straight to Hell. As Good As It Gets is a movie my family really enjoys, myself included, so hopefully you'll find it as heartwarming as we do. Merry Christmas!

How many people are still waiting?

I am, but plenty of time

me too. for both someone getting my package, and receiving one myself. the package I sent out should be arriving any day now, but as BatmanJohnson said, lots of time still.

Sent my package today. I'm really curious about one of the things I packed in there. I NEED to see it opened.
Still waiting on mine, too. So... karma?

Just waiting on my Secret Santa to post photos of their gifts.

Amazing hauls so far everybody... nice to see the event going so smoothly again this year!

They were great gifts. I've been annoying the shit out of my cat with the laser. :lol

Sorry I haven't posted my pictures yet, I've been really busy with work and currently only have my phone to use as my device to get on the inter webs. I have the pictures taken already, just need to upload them and I'm set. I promise, tomorrow. I promise.

A package came in the mail today! A mysterious package!




First thought: "Yeah, there was pretty much no way I wasn't getting jewelry or a dress."




THANKS FOR SHOWING ME UP, "FAGOT"




What the hell is this shit?




Let's see, it opens up, there's a little flap on top, and... wait. Dude.

No way. :D




Way! It's a pipe with a built in refillable lighter! Or a refillable lighter with a built-in pipe. Either way, that's portable as hell!




We load it up with, uh, Christmas-colored green tobacco, and in due time...




It should be illegal to be this relaxed!


So, yeah, this thing is pretty awesome. Now I feel even shittier about the shitty shit I sent. I'm gonna go commit seppuku ok bye

Thanks Dimnos!

I'm still waiting on mine, not that we're short on time or anything like that.

I'm in Costa Mesa for the foreseeable future, as it's the only city in California where I could actually find work.

I just checked my tracking number and found out my gift has been delivered. Yay!

I really wanted to find a tardis bong or something, but by some freak twist of fate, such a thing doesnt exist in a commercial capacity. How... :confused

Got my SS package, had to go and pick it up.
can't wait to crack it open! Pics tomorrow hopefully.

Edit: This post sounds like a telegram. stop

I said it to MLE in last year's thread I will repeat it again. Funny how when you take the bad cogs out of a machine it suddenly runs smoothly and correctly.

Now we need Zomboid to make a "wonderful 'that's it' feeling" comment :p

So here we are, i got my SS gift from the one and only ChrisGlass!
and check out the plethora of presents set before me.


I must have been a good boy this year.


Here we have the legendary Magmasaurus locked within his volcanic time capsule, a
new Mighty Robot brother, Dan Dare card game,a map of the Earth and a handsome Flintstones timepiece.


Here's a pic of the Dan Dare cards the artwork on them is really cool.


Moving on we have the DVD film of the movie Dodgeball i honestly don't know why
i didn't already own this.
The next slice of awesomeness is a table top table tennis set and Toy Story pencils.


Next up we have a trio of comic books and while i'll read them all but i gotta say
super big turbo thanks so much for the TMNT Christmas Special i love it.

So i decided that with these gifts i have all the tools i need to start planing
world domination.
so i figured i would begin by taking over the large portion of unclaimed land above
China (the Unicorn Int'l Trading Limited company doesn't recognize Russia as a country and why should i)

and as a distraction while my mighty Robot makes claim to my
Empire of New Taconia, i would unleash MagmaSaurus on the only ones able to defeat
my Robot masters...


Canada.

Step number two of my world domination is to move on down to China and with
rigorous training in table tennis

and Dodgeball

my Robot brother will be unstoppable, as he destroys all of China's
leaders in multi-staged tournaments they will have no choice but to surrender.

But for now the Robot will rest in his new home till i call on him.


Thank you so much Chris i love all my gifts, i just wish i were more imaginative because they were perfect material for some kinda story, i did my best to try and not let your efforts go to waste.

Mighty fine haul, Tacobot! But what does the MagmaSaurus actually look like?

Yeah, I wanna see the MagmaSaurus too.

Also, I just wanted to type the word magma. MAGMA.

If you get a chance while watching dodgeball on dvd, anytime ben stiller snaps his fingers hit the enter button on your remote.

I want that scary looking bank

Oh yea i totally forgot to put up some pics of my new born dino.
So here's the terrifying horror that is MAGMASAURUS!!!

Left pic is day one and the right is only a day later, it will be no time at all
until i can ride him and crush my enemies.

@Ex Leper: she's a beaut ain't she. got her down in Chinatown.

@10K: Thanks for the tip.

Guys guys guys! Guess what I got!!!!!1 More to come

It's a box!

Oh I thought it was a new couch with a paisley print

Is it contagious? should i call my doctor?

No you can get a vaccination for a mere 20 dollars

I know what it is! The Puberty fairy came and gave you that sweet facial hair.

So 4 days later...

So my father has informed me that a package arrived at our home perhaps a week ago. So, to my Secret Santa, you will see my sexy photos of me enjoying whatever gifts you have sent me on Thursday! This is all assuming the Magmasaurus does not kill me before then.

sory busyweek. been stuck with overtime. should be able to get pics up ina couple of days

Shit, is my outgoing gift still lost to the postal system?

I think Willie needs to start running the secret santa event. So he can use his secret postal powers to track gifts.

bored at work
 

according

bored at work
 

according to to my calculations 9 people haven't recieved gifts. but on the other hand my calculations also say 12 people have yet to have thier gifts posted online. so counting batmanjohnsons box only photo I'm little wrong somewhere.

My Secret Santa received his gift a long time ago... he's just taking forever to post the pics but promised they'd be up soon.

:domosleep

Okay, here is where I think we stand as of right now. :xmas1

Participants who have yet to receive a SS package:
Zhukov
ChrisGlass
LordSappington
Dr. Boogie
Blood_Panther

Participants who have yet to have a SS package received or unknown recipient:
Mockery
10,000 Volt Ghost
Harry Lime
Zhukov
Guitar Woman
LordSappington
Blood_Panther
Babs
JohnyQuest

Participants who have received a SS package and have not yet posted photos:
JohnyQuest - Received 6th - Unknown SS
Protoclown - Received 7th - BatmanJohnson
Babs - Received 8th - Unknown SS
Dimnos - Received 9th - Dextire ;)
MrSmiley381 - Received 12th - Unknown SS
BatmanJohnson - Received 15th - Unknown SS

I think that's it. :xmas1 :xmas2:xmas1

As long as the pics are up sometime in the next few weeks. Everything did get pushed back a week or so getting everything running.

Also keep in mind that Zhukov lives on an exotic island where mail can only come and go by wooden boat

OK so I got my present in the mail today, so lets see whats in this bad boy....

Wow I am impressed a live cat made it through shipping.

nice. it has a car adapter because you need to see the foreign substances on the seats of your car.

YARGH! Spent a couple of hours last night posting a dozen photos and typing hilarious captions, and then the system (mine or yours?) choked on it. Will try again today!

Hey, Dextire, have you confirmed that the first five people on your list haven't received anything? My recipient is on the list, and the post office says they delivered it over a week ago...

Am I banned today? D:

Cool stuff, Blood Panther! I'm equally confused about the car adapter however.

That sucks, man. I'm looking forward to your second attempt though! :xmas1
As to the list, I'm sorry but there's no confirmation or anything like that. I just read back through the thread.

Of course not. :lol

There you go.

My Secret Santa Haul - Finally! (part 1)
 

Well, after a great deal of time (Holy Deadline, Batman!) and a couple of failed attempts, I finally got my mistletoe together to post this. I'm such a non-posting dork, I had to set up a Photobucket account for the first time, as my years-old-yet-rarely-used ImageShack account wasn't working for me (which is too bad, really, because I was gonna make each and every one of these pictures sparkle like a mother frakker).

As I mentioned in a previous post, I got a package from Archie McPhee! It's a great store based in Seattle, full of wacky stuff sure to please any I-Mockery fan.



I took a look at the box, and was instantly thrilled at the possibilities:



But alas, I was not going to be eating delicious La Hacienda corn that evening. The contents would turn out to be even better! When I opened the box, I found something inside: another box! But this was no ordinary box, it was super awesome:



Yes, it's Super Awesome all right. It's Archie McPhee's grab-bag surprise box, and I couldn't wait to check it out. But when I removed the Super Awesome box from the almost-as-awesome corn container, I saw this:



But more on those in a moment, as I was also able to get the packing slip out at that point. It included a personal note from the sender, which reads as follows:

"Hey, Johnny Quest! It's -RoG- from I-Mockery.com and I'm your Secret Santa this year! Hope you enjoy this super awesome surprise box o' goodies from one of my favorite companies. I also threw in an extra set of pickle fingers, because it just wouldn't be a"

That's right, my Secret Santa was RoG, the head mocker himself! Thanks again for the thoughtful gift, RB! But his message appears to have been cut off before he finished. It was probably some sort of text-field error, but I like to picture RoG sitting at his desk typing it, when all of a sudden he's tackled by Abobo! Mystery...

Oh, and speaking of pickle fingers:


Yes, pickle fingers. And don't ask why, or I will slash you with briny death.
Also in the outer box was this little unadvertised guy:



Then, still giddy with the reveal of my Celebrity Secret Santa, and having whetted my appetite with a couple of fun items, it was on to the main event!


This box is chock full of fun stuff! Just look at it - where to begin:



First out of the box are these little people. There are a few different ones, they look like business people, about one inch tall, and all very serious. Maybe they're game pieces, or the population of some city diorama:


They could be used as extras when you pretend to be Godzilla! They could also be from some cubicle-dweller playset, I don't know. But then they did this, and I started to have a clue:



I'm dividing this into two posts, so as to not break my aging computer. Tune in next time, as we continue to explore the super awesome contents of the Super Awesome box!

So I received a magical box from the strange land of Canada with the following wrapped gifts, as well as some letters.



So the first package had powdery sugar candy canes. Cocaine canes. Sent internationally.



The second was a Transformer, with product placement by Lowe's. When I was a kid all we got were die-cast metal robots. This is much better, because it actually confused me when I tried to Transform it! This toy was officially more complex than every game released in 2011.



And what else? More robots! Robots that help me keep track of time! Happy 2009 everyone!



So the next package was DVD-shaped. So I think, it's "Transformers" on DVD of some variant, right? Well, my secret Santa was better than that. He knew. He mentioned this in one of his letters. Tricky bastard!



So the next package had more goddamn awesome robot shit in it. As it turns out, I didn't own either of these, so my Santa guessed right! Cyborg Justice is notorious more it's bumping robot dance techno, so I can't wait to play it again after all these years. Too bad my Genesis is still in New York D:



So, get this. In Canada, milk comes in bags. Additionally, candy packages open open upside-down.



Also, my gifts combined (like Combaticons!) into a car on a ramp! Sexy!



I DO COCAINE!



Blood_Panther definitely didn't drop the ball! Thanks a lot man!

Amazing secret santa!
 

Amazing look at all of my presents From Babs before the wrapping paper was shredded with the force of a hundred honey badgers on crack.
(I may've exaggerated slightly)


First thing I opened! CANDY GLORIOUS SUGARY CANDY! AND COOKIES, TRIPLE CHOCOLATE. But I digress from everything else because of the delcious sweet tarts sour patch kids cookies and toblerone.....


The letter said he wanted to take Santa out of the picture. What better way than with an excellent horror movie!


Next up we have an Eldridge tome written by none other than HP Lovecraft(and others) Have to include the others or they may get jealous and strangle me.... why is it suddenly drafty in here.... somethings not right


Nah Just my imagination running wild...... wait what is that on my shoulder...



HOOOLLLLYYYY


FUCCCKKKINNNGGG


SHIT BURGERS..... It's my own cuddly eldritch god.. I shall feed him the souls of the damned and the not so damned, so long as I'm not on the menu......


And finally an awesome Horror comic by the name of GOre Shriek.... I've only skimmed the first few pages but I love older horror comics so I'm sure I'll love it once I get time to read it!




So here's a group shot. A big thank you to Babality pancakes for making my christmas a very black christmas(albeit sugared up)

Sweet loot Batman! :D

No, you're fine. I got your package last week, but I've been busy moving. And then I lost the USB cord for my camera.

But I finally found it, and so without further ado, my SS package from Guitar Woman:





Thankfully, the package made its way to my doorstep in spite of the fact that my name was misspelled on the address labels. "Bowler"? Oh, Cliff.

Such an unassuming box, but loaded with such goodies:




Delicious Sour Patch Kids! I admit that as I was opening the box, I was secretly hoping to find some candy inside, and I do love sour candies. Mmm mm!




I was definitely not expecting a bottle of scotch. I'm not much of a drinker myself, but the note that came with the box assured me that this is the good stuff. And if nothing else, I've got a couple nice shot glasses!




Star Wars merchandise that both delights eyes and tantalizes the taste buds all at once? Count me in! Now if only I could remember where I packed my baking ingredients...




Mmm, more tasty snacks... I assume. I haven't gotten around to trying them to decide if these were meant as joke gifts or real snacks.




Bacon toothpaste and dental floss! Now I finally have a way to make my breath smell like bacon without eating any bacon! I wonder when Mr. Bacon's life began; would it be when he was first shaved off a pig's torso, or was it shortly after he was transformed from a raw, greasy strip of fat into a crinkly ribbon of cooked meat?

I'm hungry.




Every month is Halloween when you've got the zombie calendar! Who do you have telling you what day it is, Dilbert? Fuck you.




Also included were some... potatoes. Now I can make home fries for Christmas dinner!




Bear earmuffs. It doesn't get cold enough to wear earmuffs in southern California very often, but when it does, I'll be ready. Ready and fuzzy.




The Freeloader Fork, a telescopic fork for annoying dinner guests up to 2 feet away. Look at that extending action:




Ooh! Ah!



I don't know what these little plastic guns are for, but I've got two of them. Maybe they tie in with the potatoes somehow. Or maybe they're just blackhead guns. Could go either way.

All in all, a pretty good haul this year. Nicely done, GW.

My present arrived a few days ago; pictures are incoming.

My Secret Santa Haul - Finally! (part 2)
 

Welcome back! When last we met, super awesome things had begun to emerge from the Super Awesome box I got from RoG, my super awesome Secret Santa! Let's continue, shall we?

You know, in this economy it's always a good idea to get the most sound financial advice you can, and Super Awesome has got me covered with my very own Wall Street Financial Guru:


Since I already make most of my personal, culinary and relationship decisions based on 8-ball technology, this one's right up my alley. Or should I say street - Wall Street, that is! :lol
In the spirit of the season, I'd like to share with you some of the Guru's hot financial advice:


I'm also investing in Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice futures, based on a hot tip from my brokers, Winthorpe & Valentine.

This talk about food is making me hungry, but that's no problem, as Super Awesome has you covered at mealtime as well:


Two place settings, meatloaf, and even after-dinner mints! Plus, I'm not sure if it's real, but I would totally eat at The Cricket Steak House, which either has really big crickets or really small chickens. Doesn't matter.

And if you're thirsty, here's a lovely beverage:


I've never had Mr. Snot Energy Drink before. That's all I'm gonna say. I immediately pounded it down (well, as quickly as it slithered out of the jug), and now I've got a nifty reusable sports bottle!


And it's a good thing that some food was included, because the box's population was not limited to dour businesspeople and a rogue gorilla! Let's check out the action figures, sprung to plastic life from the pages of literature, music and history:


That's right, 19th century adventurer and superhero Oscar Wilde. Oh, man, I'm afraid my other action figures are gonna beat the crap out of him. Charm them with a witty bon mot, Oscar! On second thought, use your cane!! Oh, who will protect the poet? Wait a minute, Li'l Ludwig looks pretty tough:


If he can get out of that box, Beethoven will kick. your. ass. Plus, he comes with the best possible accessory: a free comic! "Oh, Li'l Ludwig, what hijinks are you up to NOW?"

If you have any doubt at this point about the super awesome nature of this Super Awesome gift (and really, why would you? How could you?), here's the clincher:


I'm not sure whether that kid is super excited, or frozen in abject terror. Either way he manages to be completely dead-eyed. Super Awesome!

Take a look at the cards:


The cards are great, and have fun facts on the back. Each one is undeniably awesome, but I think this may be my favorite:


Well, we're down to the last few items in the box (Can you believe it? What a journey we've taken!). Here's one that will be fun to decorate with during next year's Two Months of Halloween:


The package comes with three sets of mirror clings, which should be enough to also put them on my TV during the news. Monster anchors!

And now the last couple of items, some Devil Duckie bandages and fifteen Texas Hold 'Em poker chips!


I haven't opened the bandages yet - I'm a little afraid to find out what kind of toy is appropriate to include with a wound care product.

And that's about it. Oh, I could have taken a few more pictures, I guess - shown that the mints were football shaped, and had little to no taste of penguin; or served up the meatloaf (recipe: inflate.), but that would have taken me even more time, and Christmas is almost upon us! Thanks again, Santa, and Happy Holidays to everyone in the I-Mockery community!

Nice hauls everyone! Merry almost Chrimmas to you! :xmas3 I bet that bacon toothpaste is just fantastic.

just got a pm. A big thanks goes out to LordSappington who was my secret santa this year. thanks for the awesome gift.

and gratz to everyone else. looks like everyone got a whole lot of awesome this year.

Ho, Ho, Holy crap! What amazing holiday hauls! :xmas1
It looks like you guys just gave a quick ;) to the spending limit as you went on your merry way. :lol
And yes I know there's no maximum spending limit, I'm just jealous of all the awesome stuff. :)

Dr. Boogie: I would much sooner eat the Larvets than the bacon flavored toothpaste, they're actually pretty good.
You have to chew the crickets quite a bit or they'll get caught in your throat like popcorn kernels though.

JohnnyQuest: Well done on the photo tour of the immense amount of awesome!
Have you inflated the meatloaf yet? I'm curious if it gets to actual meatloaf size.

And in case I'm not able to get on in the next few days, Merry Christmas everyone! :xmas3

I think the guns are for the ear muffs... somehow.

Still waiting for my recipient to post their pics, Merry X-Mas anyhow!

So after countless days of waiting to open my package due to extra fun activities at my job, I finally got the chance to do so.

And my Secret Santa is... drum roll please... insert onomatopoeia.......



HARRY LIME!!! From a Lime to a Lemon. This is truly starting out to be a magical December already (even though it's near the end of December).



And a nice letter from Mr. Lime.

Well the contents of the package did find me well but I can't quite vouch for the integrity of the products seeing as it's a surpise, so we'll have to anxiously wait until I get to that part! OHHHHHH THATS THE GOOD PART.

Oh yeah, I didn't check the box because I don't like MOESHA.

Unless this is Moesha.....


Wishing me a Merry Christmas on the half of Harry Lime, then consider that box checked.



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Now it's time to to get down to THE GOOD PART, rumaging through the package and over seeing the total contents that Harry Lime has enclosed for me.



5 PACKAGES! Including the goodie pouch and excluding that super mario walkthrough that snuck itself into the shot.

So we're going to break this lot down piece by piece.
. Christmas Tree
. Snowman
. Sock
. Fuel
. Goodie Pouch



Starting with the Christmas Tree and so far I see what seems to be a VHS. That, or Beta Max.



OHHHHHHHH CREEEEEPY CLAASSSSSSICS. A tape that is "a hauntingly hilarious video" with the dashing deviant "Master of Scarimonies" Vincet Price playing host and/or narrator to a barrage of old B movies. They're definitely not kidding about the "authentic film footage", they're definitely snipets of low budgeted films, NO KIDDING!

I saved the best for last on this gem because it couldn't be any more true.



I couldn't agree more that cringing and howling indubitably leads to calling for pizza. Especially to classics such as The Blob, The Day of the Triffids, and many more classics that Mr. Price will be playing host too. Just let this incriminating picture speak for itself.



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Moving unto the Snowman, I discover my interests are rather intrigued. It's a rough guide to cult movies, basically it's a book full kick ass shit and information that people should read more into instead watching the bullshit that's coming out now. It includes quick synopses of movies such as Blade Runner, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Barbarella, Tokyo Gore Police, Rosemary's Baby, and many many more amazing titles. Can't thank you enough Harry Lime for this bible, much appreciation.



Now it's time for the Sock. And it's The Simpsons Christmas which includes 5 Christmas oriented Simpsons episodes from the past to more recent episodes. Ahh the memories are coming back to me when I was a young lad who used to watch The Simpsons religously.



Now we all know you can't be in the Christmas spirit without a little bit of Christmas Fuel. Que in the dark and milk chocolate! What a better way to get things going a little bit more with some good old fashion chocolate.



Finally, the Goodie Pouch. Now what could possibly be in this....



It's... coal... hmmm.



WAIT A SECOND!!!



IT'S THE MOST EXPENSIVE, LEAST EXPENSIVE GIFT IN I-MOCKERY'S SECRET SANTA HISTORY!!!!!! A GOOD OLD FASHIONED INVESTMENT!!



Ahh, now I can finally rest with all my amazing gifts that Harry Lime has provided me with.



MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE TO THE FOLKS AT/ON I-MOCKERY, AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY PAL HARRY LIME FOR SWEETENING UP THIS LEMON'S HOLIDAYS!!!!

Boogie, those would be potato guns. You can stick the tips into a potato and rip out a little chunk, then shoot them at your friends; they're reputedly good for a few hundred shots from a single spud. I thought I'd include some surplus ammo, too.

Also I'm hell of relieved that you liked it! This was lots of fun in retrospect. :D