A sad story told many times before
 

Okay so the thing is I am a 26 year old high functioning autistic prawn fisherman and new to this forum. I am not the most attractive of men, and also I have problems approaching women so I am still a virgin. That's okay; as Dr. Kinsey says, "no sex means better sex when you get some". Or something.

Anyhoo

So I have a female friend; we'll call her "Ms. M. Schroder". No wait I'd better not use her surname; "Meghan S.". I live in Rockville Virginia which may or may not be where Meghan S lives also, ythat's for your own understanding. Anyway M Schroeder and myself share a "special" friendship; I tend to be quite handsy with people and Meghan S enjoys it because I touch her a lot, even sometimes when she yells at me not to.

The point is that well, I haven't had sex but really want a daughter to call Crystal and I saw on TV that you can get women pregnant by cumming onto a pen and getting them to sit on it. So I did. Only Meghan S walked in as I was attempting to blurt on the pen and screamed and I had to run out of the house. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh" and ut had dice in the mirror, if anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'; looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.

There's only one funny part about this thread, and it had nothing to do with you.