I need some help if anyone is willing to listen
 

I feel as if this is the wrong place to talk about this here but I'm kind of in a stressed position concerning my girlfriend and our future. The thing is, is that I'm very motivated about my career and really looking forward to pursuing med school and what not, the thing is is that I hope she can be as ambitious as well. I love her a lot, there's not one person in this world I rather go through hell with unless it was her. I'm not trying to question her ambitions at all, though it may come off that way, it's just she's in a really bad position and I'm doing my best to be there for her which is about 24/7 and I still have a lot of stuff to do. This may not sound like a bad situation to the people around me but you have no idea the emotional and physical stress I get and it's seriously really hard. I barely have any support from anyone but I still persevere no matter what the obstacles are. I'm facing all kinds of horrible shit in my life, I have to go get god damn surgery soon because of some god damn tumor growth. It's just I can't really take all this shit coming at me at all fronts. I guess this is some sort of bullshit lament but damn, all I do with my free time is come here to find some chat and give a piece of mind. Sorry for this long entry, just looking for a place to talk. But I do know, that I love my woman a lot and I guess I can have my doubts, I shouldn't question her ambitions, I guess in the end I'm really questioning myself. Sorry for this shit...

1. Paragraphs.
2. What now? I don't understand what the problem is.

The problem is if I'm just insecure about the situation I'm in with her. Her family was really affected by this whole recession thing and it's put her and her whole family and I really bad position.

The story is is that her family's house needed renovation, particularly the roof needed to be fixed because it was leaking. Well they paid this guy to fix it (their cousin) and he did half of it then the next day he just ran off with the money and never finished what he started. Then all hell breaks loose the next day, Ohio was hit with this really bad storm with winds reported up to 70 mph and her whole house got destroyed. Water got through and ruined the whole entire ceiling, walls, just everything damn thing was destroyed. It's now 8 months later or so and her dad won't even support her family (she has 3 more siblings, 1 being 24 and has the mentality of peter pan) and all he does and make the whole family feel like shit.

I love my girl friend more than anything, but she doesn't seem like she wants to help herself out, let alone another person. She won't get a job or even really try to look for a part time job. I'm stuck doing everything, I'm in no shape to be doing this. I'm just about to get insurance again and as soon as that happens I have to go straight to the surgery room. Not only that, but I have to maintain a constant 3.5 to stay in school. I feel really fucking over whelmed and I wonder if it's me putting her in a bad position in my head. She's been through a hell of a lot and I think she deserves better. It's really hard because when you care for someone so much, you just want what's the best for them even if you can't give them that. I'm only 21 and it seems like I have more to handle than I can right now.

Sounds like a sticky situation.

To be honest I'd tell her to get off her arse and get a fucking job. Or even look for a job for her - "I've seen they're looking for people down at X, you should check it out".

If her whole family is in the shit and she's of working age it's her responsibility to help.

I totally feel the same way, I just didn't know if I was being an unreasonable person. Yeah, I think today I'm going to wake her ass up early (she'll probably wake me up) and get her some applications.

If she loved you she would be trying as ahrd as fuck to make your situation easier, just like what you are doing for her. If she can make it easier by sorting herself out, then she needs to do that.

Also, if you are hindered from your studies, or your job or even from being healthy because of her, you should tell her. Same thing applies, if she loved you she would want the best for you. It's hard, I know, but you need to put yourself first in this case.

I'm a useless unmotivated girl. I'd appreciate it if you got me job suggestions and helped me find work.

If she looks at you funny, then hit her with a stick. That could help too.

Define what love is.

Your girlfriend's family is fucked up. Her cousin stole from them, her dad won't take care of his own kids, and she's not interested in making some money to help out herself. What is it that you think you can do to fix her situation?

She may have had some bad luck in life, but nothing's going to change for her unless she shows some initiative.

tell her to get a job. Don't get the applications for her. ;\

Even if she doesn't get a job anytime soon you at least gotta stress her out. Don't let her get comfortable being an asshat. Its been EIGHT MONTHS and she hasn't got a job to help her family?

Are you helping her family?

I've been doing a lot actually, I've been helping them with food and got her brother a job. I got her some applications earlier just to help out and she's about to get a car so I'm really hoping this is going to help out a lot.

I hope it works out for you. I went through the exact same situation when I was 19. Words of advice: don't get engaged, remember what you're putting into the relationship and there's plenty of girls in the sea.

the exact opposite feelings of what I have for you :\

She sounds like she is using you. Once you can no longer provide help in any way, your gonna be replaced. Times are rough, but there are still jobs out there.
And don't forget the plan of a desperate woman looking for cash, they get pregnant.
It sounds like you deserve better. Tell her you need a break in the relationship to work things out. Maybe after 4-5 months you will see things more clearly.

He probably doesn't deserve better

You probably deserve to have your face raked on the cement

Oh by the way, how old are you and what's your career?

I'm surprised you're old enough to start a career. You have a very simple problem here, what will happen when you do something more challenging like buy a used car! :eek

quite simple, just save a month's salary up which is about as much as you make in one year.

I still have the opposite of love's feelings for you, so do not worry on that part.

Oh yeah! I'm a millionaire on the internet! Look at me! I can't figure out girls but I can make big claims about the size of my wallet on the web! Why doesn't anyone like me here :tear

That's probably why she out fucking everyone while you go to work. Because you have a "big" wallet.

Why don't you go live under a bridge in the mountains where you can't bother anyone you troll. While you're at it, why don't you just go walk off that bridge or waltz your ass into oncoming traffic, spare the embarrassment of being homeless.

Ok, now I feel like an asshole for saying that and just going down to that level of archaic conflict.

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I guess in the end I'm really questioning myself. Sorry for this shit...

:tear

Face it, you're just a pussy and you're thankfully that your lazy ass whore would even want a pathetic little cry baby like you.