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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

zeldasbiggestfan Oct 24th, 2015 04:31 PM

I just cleaned up a bunch of cat shit, I don't want anymore jobs.

captain516 Oct 25th, 2015 10:27 PM

Fuck you kid, you'll watch Michael Fassbinder and Seth Roagun on the bigscreen and you'll like it!

liquidstatik Nov 1st, 2015 12:38 AM

..

liquidstatik Nov 1st, 2015 12:39 AM

..

Pub Lover Nov 1st, 2015 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771153)
Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan (Post 771152)
I just cleaned up a bunch of cat shit, I don't want anymore jobs.

Fuck you kid, you'll watch Michael Fassbinder and Seth Roagun on the bigscreen and you'll like it!

:lol
Quote:

Originally Posted by liquidstatik (Post 771159)
why is this pl,ace not dead yet

Losers.

zeldasbiggestfan Nov 2nd, 2015 03:47 AM

NOBODY CAME TO MY GODDAMN PARTY.

liquidstatik Nov 4th, 2015 11:56 PM

..

Tadao Nov 5th, 2015 03:00 PM


Nick Nov 13th, 2015 08:48 AM

rip

MarioRPG Nov 13th, 2015 01:40 PM

I miss (some of) you kids.

liquidstatik Nov 14th, 2015 04:16 PM

..

bigtimecow Nov 14th, 2015 08:17 PM

i have anxiety :(

Esuohlim Nov 15th, 2015 11:24 AM

I got married two months ago :(

replicant Nov 17th, 2015 01:37 PM


liquidstatik Nov 18th, 2015 02:03 PM

..

captain516 Nov 18th, 2015 03:59 PM

YOU THOUGHT MILHAUSE WAS SINGLE?

Tadao Nov 19th, 2015 12:14 AM

He stole Sarah Horseface Parker from Bueller.

zeldasbiggestfan Nov 22nd, 2015 11:05 PM

I think I saw Sam's d*ck on here once or something. Anyone else remember that?

Tadao Nov 25th, 2015 12:28 PM

Man, no Secret Santa? I'm outta here! lol

What a strange fan base.

captain516 Nov 26th, 2015 02:22 AM

They don't hang around for 11 months out of the year but "crawl out of the woodwork" for the chance to get candy and trinkets and to post WACKY STORIEZ LOL
Maybe it's because I'm a bitter asshole, but that sh*t s*unds f*cked up to me, yo

zeldasbiggestfan Nov 29th, 2015 06:23 PM

You guise, play Undertale :o That was fun.

No hiding Santa or whatever makes me sad :(

Tadao Dec 3rd, 2015 05:16 AM

:eek

Tadao Dec 3rd, 2015 05:17 AM

:pagebrak

Tadao Dec 3rd, 2015 05:18 AM


Pub Lover Dec 3rd, 2015 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow (Post 771174)
i have anxiety :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by liquidstatik (Post 771178)
me too, p lame

We all do. :lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771175)
I got married two months ago :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by liquidstatik (Post 771178)
pix?

Congrats. Is he a looker? :rolleyes

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 4th, 2015 04:10 AM

I spent way too much money on Earthbound today.

Tadao Dec 6th, 2015 09:28 PM

:lol RoG, I think watching you watch He Man, well it's probably the most relaxed I've ever seen you. I think it looks good on you.

inferno Dec 12th, 2015 09:43 PM

"Hey Where The Candy and Trinkets at?"
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771190)
They don't hang around for 11 months out of the year but "crawl out of the woodwork" for the chance to get candy and trinkets and to post WACKY STORIEZ LOL
Maybe it's because I'm a bitter asshole, but that sh*t s*unds f*cked up to me, yo

YoYoYo, I'm back and straight out of Woodworkz to ask "Where The Candy and Trinkets at?" </JOKE>

But really, I've been checking the Forum Events page since November 1st with growing worry, completely missing that people have been posting here. (I'm just so good at internet forums you guys)

Now how can I
Spoilers!

------Don't read if you are RoG, it's a secret!

inferno Dec 12th, 2015 09:44 PM

Other than that, How's life everyone?

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 13th, 2015 06:29 AM

I've had some good poops recently.

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 13th, 2015 06:37 AM

Fuck guys, nobody's up late on here anymore :(

OR ON EVER :(:(:(

captain516 Dec 15th, 2015 09:05 PM

I have a really fucking bad case of procrastination.
It's so bad that the only way I can motivate myself to finish something is if I have drink (or several) first.
Which brings me to what I've been drinking lately:
Kraken + diet coke= decent enough. If Grislygus was here he'd be ripping me a new asshole right now, I remember him being something of a liquor snob.
Homemade pine nut vodka + cranberry juice + one of those powdered drink mix packets= Life in Mother Russia has taught my grandparents some hard lessons, but this is one of those things that you're obligated to pass on to your descendants. Hell, if I had the resources and time, I'd be bottling Captain516's secret family recipe kedrovaya. Of course I'm too much of a faggot to drink it straight, hence the other stuff to act as a buffer.
Hoegaarden White Ale= the beer with a funny name and a great taste.

UPDATE: Pernod tastes like ass and poo (and licorice, same difference amirite), if you can drink this without gagging you are a better man than I.

Pub Lover Dec 31st, 2015 06:09 PM

Happy new year, you fucking fucks. :dunce

Pub Lover Dec 31st, 2015 06:10 PM

Woah, I guess I do have some of the emoticons here memorized. :eek

Pub Lover Dec 31st, 2015 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771206)
I have a really fucking bad case of procrastination.

I procrastinated my teens and twenties. I am now working on my thirties. :rock
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771206)
It's so bad that the only way I can motivate myself to finish something is if I have drink (or several) first.

I am only here because I am drunk. I was only ever here drunk. I guess I have been sober for a while? Whoops, fell off the wagon Better call my sponsor. :hypno
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771206)
If Grislygus was here he'd be ripping me a new asshole right now, I remember him being something of a liquor snob.

A lot of the losers here were booze snobs. I was one of them. HEY PAST ME, I AM DRINKING MOSCOW MULES BECAUSE I AM A LITTLE BITCH! :lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 771206)
Of course I'm too much of a faggot to drink it straight, hence the other stuff to act as a buffer.

Hit me up sugarlips.;) :orgasm :thatsuckingdickemoticonwehad

Pub Lover Dec 31st, 2015 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 771214)
:thatsuckingdickemoticonwehad

:blowme

Pub Lover Dec 31st, 2015 06:25 PM

Another year older. :|

zeldasbiggestfan Jan 7th, 2016 09:08 PM

Fuck guys. Happy New Year

Esuohlim Jan 7th, 2016 09:24 PM

whatever

Tadao Jan 8th, 2016 06:03 PM

jerk

Otto Jan 12th, 2016 03:02 PM

I don't crawl out of the woodwork! I come in and out of depressive hazes.

I refuse to believe it's a new year until I hear it from my commanding officer. Also don't looke Hess in the eye, he has a screw loose.

zeldasbiggestfan Jan 23rd, 2016 07:28 PM

I got a new job this week. I make circuit boards now.

NOBODY IS GONNA SEE THIS :(

Mockery Jan 26th, 2016 06:19 PM

I saw it. Congrats :picklehat

Tadao Jan 27th, 2016 09:09 PM

When you say you make circuit boards, do you mean you work the soldering tables with the wage slaves or that you design them? or what? Hope you get paid well, when I was in electronics all I got offered in the 90s was the soldering table.

zeldasbiggestfan Jan 31st, 2016 06:12 PM

lol No, I just make them, I don't design anything hahaha

Hahahahaha, I'm a slave

:(

Babs Feb 12th, 2016 02:20 PM

I'm married now. She's really fucking awesome and very beautiful so I did indeed get very lucky. I'm still in the pharmacy and I'm constantly soldering and doing little things to fight depression from this place being a graveyard now adays.

Esuohlim Feb 14th, 2016 03:33 PM

I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

This place was useful for what it was when I needed it in my life. It seems almost fitting that it started dying when my interest waned. But it also saddens me greatly that I was much funnier at 15 than I am now at 28. :(

captain516 Feb 15th, 2016 04:31 AM

Our little milhouse is all growed up ;o

captain516 Feb 15th, 2016 04:36 AM

I was never a big part of the community on here but I still like to re-read the threads every once in a while because the internet is all about frog pictures and negro twitters and basically sucks now. I find myself perpetually annoyed at kids and their newfangled music. Is this what being old feels like?

Babs Feb 23rd, 2016 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771239)
I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

This place was useful for what it was when I needed it in my life. It seems almost fitting that it started dying when my interest waned. But it also saddens me greatly that I was much funnier at 15 than I am now at 28. :(

It's astounding how it all turns out. I ended up marrying a badass woman who for reasons I'll never know loves guns, look's a mystic elf, and loves not dragging to me shitty places all the time and make my life a living hell, infact it's a hobby of hers. It's surprising what life will offer you when you actually make an effort and give a shit.

zeldasbiggestfan Feb 25th, 2016 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771239)
I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

This place was useful for what it was when I needed it in my life. It seems almost fitting that it started dying when my interest waned. But it also saddens me greatly that I was much funnier at 15 than I am now at 28. :(

I am also in the short haired cute girls club, BUT WE ARE NOT MARRIED YET, I TELL YA.

I wish there was a way to get a reunion type deal on here. It's cool that some people see one another on reddit and shit from here. I think I saw Seven Force on a gamefaqs thread from like 5 years ago, but it could have been another guy.

MAYBE AN I-MOCKERY SUBREDDIT. I'd do it but I don't know how2reddit

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 2nd, 2016 01:55 AM

IT SEEMS LIKE THE GODDAMNS HAVE DRIED THE FUCK UP HERE

SuperYuriGagarin Mar 3rd, 2016 02:52 AM

This whole place has dried up. Like a turd in the sun. For a long time it sat in the rain kept moist and smelly. But the storms broken and now it looks like a bit of chalk beneath the sun.

Babs Mar 5th, 2016 10:46 PM

This place is sooooo in this year. 2016 is totally happening. I-mock meetup? I'm already there!

stevetothepast Mar 6th, 2016 06:17 AM

:pagebrak

zeldasbiggestfan Mar 18th, 2016 12:19 AM

I found an old video of Willie eating his beard.

Pub Lover Apr 4th, 2016 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babs (Post 771244)
It's surprising what life will offer you when you actually make an effort and give a shit.

Fuck you, Babs! >:

Pub Lover Apr 4th, 2016 07:04 AM

I am back here because I just got an email from Mindsay saying they are relaunching their site. :lol

Pub Lover Apr 4th, 2016 07:04 AM

Remember when we all had Mindsay blogs? :eek

Pub Lover Apr 4th, 2016 07:09 AM

:suicide

MarioRPG Apr 4th, 2016 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771239)
I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

This was posted like 2 months ago and I had no idea. What the fuck.

Pub Lover Apr 6th, 2016 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771175)
I got married two months ago :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 771196)
Congrats. Is he a looker? :rolleyes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 771239)
I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarioRPG (Post 771279)
This was posted like 2 months ago and I had no idea. What the fuck.

How could you miss it? It is all he has been talking about since halloween. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 6th, 2016 11:19 AM


Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2016 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 771276)
I am back here because I just got an email from Mindsay saying they are relaunching their site. :lol

:lol :lol

Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2016 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 351965)
Did I mention that I am making kissies with a girl on a regular basis now. >:

FUCK YOU THIS IS MAGIC. >:

:(

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2016 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 351763)
Hey Pub Lover I'm in an actual relationship now so you're on your own from now on pal.

Yep.

Tadao May 9th, 2016 12:34 PM

George just got married, thought you jerks should know.

zeldasbiggestfan May 11th, 2016 08:38 PM

My friend's kid said "dada" the other day.

FUCK GUYS.

Tadao May 12th, 2016 10:03 AM

That is surprising, who knew you would have a friend?

zeldasbiggestfan May 13th, 2016 03:40 PM

Well, he doesn't know we're friends.

WhiteRat May 14th, 2016 06:11 PM

zeldasbiggestprolapsedanus

Colonel Flagg May 23rd, 2016 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 771303)
George just got married, thought you jerks should know.

George is dead to me until he finishes his story.

Tadao May 23rd, 2016 03:22 PM

:sadclownface

Tadao May 25th, 2016 04:43 PM


zeldasbiggestfan May 25th, 2016 11:51 PM

Aaaaand, I got laid off today.

Tadao May 26th, 2016 10:33 PM

:pagebrak

bigtimecow May 27th, 2016 07:35 PM

zeldasmostunemployedfan

zeldasbiggestfan May 28th, 2016 05:57 PM

Welp, back to cutting grass I go.

Tadao May 29th, 2016 01:24 PM

You got Trumped lol

zeldasbiggestfan May 29th, 2016 03:15 PM

Can't stump the Trump.

Colonel Flagg May 31st, 2016 09:04 AM

Drumpf.

zeldasbiggestfan Jun 1st, 2016 08:39 PM

Hey guys.

Cutting grass sucks.

Tadao Jun 1st, 2016 10:35 PM

And we witness the 3rd rebirth of ZBF!

captain516 Jun 6th, 2016 11:12 PM

Zibif is going to MAKE LAWNS GREAT AGAIN.
Spoilers!

Colonel Flagg Jun 7th, 2016 03:30 PM

Donald C. Trump for President!

Spoilers!

zeldasbiggestfan Jun 25th, 2016 11:15 AM

GOOD MORNING, J*RKS >:

WhiteRat Jul 10th, 2016 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan (Post 771330)
GOOD MORNING, J*RKS >:

lol look at this Trump supporter

captain516 Jul 12th, 2016 02:08 PM

You rang?

Babs Sep 16th, 2016 01:55 AM

Man..... this is sad seeing this...

Tadao Sep 18th, 2016 11:48 PM

It's sadder seeing you post.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2016 08:01 PM

RoG, ssince there is no forum for Screen Junkies, you should make a section here. bwahahahahahahaha

:ibapery

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2016 07:01 PM

RIP Misdemonar

Uncle_Sham Sep 25th, 2016 07:09 AM

stranger things?

Pub Lover Sep 29th, 2016 06:57 AM

So I was at the Jazz Bar sipping on a locally brewed Wheat IPA, and a woman sat down at my table with her friend.

The place was filling up and there were not many places left to sit. I indicated to her that no one was using those chairs, so it was fine. I imagine I used those noise things from my mouth that we call words to do this. I can't be sure.

She was too pretty.

There is no medication or therapy in the world that will get me used to the idea that I am allowed in the same room as a woman that is too pretty.

I noticed that she was acting awkwardly. Fuck. Years of self-doubt returned and I spent the next half hour staring into my drink or getting odd returned looks from the band and bar staff.

Finally the too pretty woman and her friend left the bar. I sighed into my beer and my brother leaned in and whispered to me an apology:

"Hey. Sorry that was so awkward. She asked me out earlier this year but I freaked out because she is too pretty. Then I immediately started dating my ex the next day. I guess she isn't over it?"

And that is why I murdered my brother, your honour.



Thinking of you all here at I Mockery Dot Com.
- Pubbles.

SuperYuriGagarin Oct 2nd, 2016 11:57 PM

does this dump not even come back online for halloween?

Guitar Woman Oct 6th, 2016 07:31 PM

lol Forum isn't even on the main link banner anymore :(

captain516 Oct 7th, 2016 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperYuriGagarin (Post 771371)
does this dump not even come back online for halloween?

Try again in december. Free gifts bro!

Babs Oct 10th, 2016 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 771359)
It's sadder seeing you post.

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! The King...... is back

Esuohlim Oct 12th, 2016 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 771372)
lol Forum isn't even on the main link banner anymore :(

:lol

pack it in, fellas

Esuohlim Oct 12th, 2016 08:02 PM

guys i'm having a child in january :(


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