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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Tadao Mar 24th, 2009 10:26 PM

Breeding is so unnecessary right now.

executioneer Mar 24th, 2009 10:33 PM

i hope i burst a capillary in my brain soon

kahljorn Mar 25th, 2009 02:03 AM

man i scored two tutoring jobs outside of school. One of them's going to pay 12 dollars an hour, and raise it to 15 if I'm helping him a lot. He also offered bonuses depending on what grade he gets.

The other i dunno but whatever its tax free ;o

kahljorn Mar 25th, 2009 03:52 AM

Man I'm so fucking bored

Kitsa Mar 25th, 2009 08:36 AM

Kahl...not to be negative, but watch out with the ones who dangle "bonuses"....I had a few of those who promised BIG bonuses if only I'd write papers for them, etc.

Colonel Flagg Mar 25th, 2009 12:47 PM

Get your payments in cash, per session. Just a suggestion.

Esuohlim Mar 25th, 2009 03:49 PM

Is the new Nintendo DSi seriously just a DS with a camera in it

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 03:54 PM

The must have teamed up with Apple.

Pub Lover Mar 25th, 2009 04:08 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 621370)
One time I got my sister so drunk that she passed out and then I busted my seed in her. I didn't tell her about it till our kids 5th birthday. Ah man, you should have seen the look on her face. Priceless!

What kind of seed? :eek

I hope it was pumpkin. :)

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 04:17 PM


wobzire Mar 25th, 2009 05:20 PM

Omigash pub is back!

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 05:31 PM

Don't count on it!

Babs Mar 25th, 2009 06:40 PM

you little seed buster you

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 09:13 PM

KITSA, can I submit Chloe to cute overload? I bet she will be famous.

Kitsa Mar 25th, 2009 09:26 PM

sure, why not.

You wouldn't think she was cute if you had to deal with her barking today.

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 09:44 PM

They sure don't make it easy to submit pics!

Kitsa Mar 25th, 2009 09:45 PM

let me know how it goes.

kahljorn Mar 25th, 2009 10:15 PM

Most of these people dont seem like the type to rip somebody off, but ill see about getting it up front ;o

Tadao Mar 25th, 2009 10:33 PM


kahljorn Mar 26th, 2009 04:48 AM

stupid 9 page research papers that have to be written in a day >:

Dixie Mar 26th, 2009 05:37 AM

sometimes i wish we still had the NSFW thread

kahljorn Mar 26th, 2009 05:39 AM


executioneer Mar 26th, 2009 06:27 AM

well you could make a forum that is solely dedicated to nsfw pictures for imockery forumgoers


Dixie Mar 26th, 2009 07:34 AM

That was bad Willie, even for you.

MetalMilitia Mar 26th, 2009 01:50 PM


Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 02:59 PM

I'll go see it, I might even enjoy it.

Fathom Zero Mar 26th, 2009 05:13 PM

I'd trust Spike Jonze with my first-born, so yes.

Babs Mar 26th, 2009 05:22 PM

Spike Jonez is my first born.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 05:37 PM

I just brought back my Fu Manchu. I look like such a Mexican.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 06:06 PM

:( You can all learn something from my mistake.

If you, say, have a bucket you collect dog poop in to throw away at the end of the week when the trash is picked up....if you have such a bucket, and it's full of dogshit....don't leave it out in the rain. And then a day's worth of unseasonably hot sun.

I just had to deal with a bucket brimming with warm dogshit soup :(

I'm going to hose out the bucket and drill some holes in the bottom of it this weekend. Learned my lesson :(

How come the shit stuff always happens to me?

Babs Mar 26th, 2009 06:19 PM

Shit loves you and you love shit

Pub Lover Mar 26th, 2009 08:09 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 621597)
I just brought back my Fu Manchu. I look like such a Mexican.

Have you also got ten years younger?

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 08:15 PM

I wish!

kahljorn Mar 26th, 2009 09:17 PM

i made 13 bucks tutoring today :)

the best thing about tutoring is that i learn a toooon about whatever im tutoring. I pretty much know how to tutor every kind of logic at school

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 09:39 PM

I always had bad luck with tutoring. Especially when it came to the bf and math. I'd try to show him how to choose an equation or something, and he'd be like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you do it.

I took the dog out for a 15 min walk so we could both say we got exercise today. We've got this guy who moved in with his mom 2 doors down. The guy is middle-aged and has a loud burgundy chopper my bf calls the "Fartcopter". It does sound like an exact cross between a helicopter and a loud, blatting fart. It's pretty obnoxious, especially at night.

Anyway, the dog was doing well until we heard the roar of the Fartcopter, and then she started bucking and trying to run. It was a bad 50 feet or so getting her back to the house, and she ran into the crate and waited for me to shut the door. Apparently the Fartcopter is terrifying.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 09:51 PM

Cesar would say that the dog is reacting to your reaction to the motorcycle.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 09:55 PM

My reaction to the motorcycle would be a middle finger if I wasn't in such a fucking defective body that I'm sure would lose a fight. I'm not enamoured of the guy.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 10:20 PM

I only believe half of what Cesar says anyways.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 10:23 PM

He seems like a genuinely good guy, though.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 10:27 PM

Yeah, he really is in tune with what a dog needs. But I'm not the guy who thinks animals can feel your feelings the way he says. I don't think he really believes it too. But he sells it to some degree. Maybe because it helps people project what the want onto the dog.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 10:36 PM

I just figured out today my dog will eat carrots.

I've been giving her baby carrots as treats. She really does think she's a horse.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 10:43 PM

I tried to get mine to eat lettuce. He'll eat veggies, just not lettuce.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 10:46 PM

They say that most veggies except for onions, broccoli and garlic are okay.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 10:50 PM

I have heard rumor that avocado is not that good for animals too. I bet the mango people spread that rumor.

Kitsa Mar 26th, 2009 10:56 PM

I know avocado is supposed to be a latex cross-allergen. But it never gave me a problem.

Tadao Mar 26th, 2009 11:01 PM


yeah I guess it's not the meat of the avocado but everything else.

executioneer Mar 26th, 2009 11:52 PM


Originally Posted by Carnivore Is God (Post 621529)
That was bad Willie, even for you.

i was making a reference to the old ezboard days when there actually was such a board, but ezboard shut it down cause they don't allow porno :(

Chojin Mar 27th, 2009 12:42 AM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 621657)
the best thing about tutoring is that i learn a toooon about whatever im tutoring. I pretty much know how to tutor every kind of logic at school

the best thing about tutoring isn't learning a ton about whatever you're tutoring, it's letting everyone online know you did.

Chojin Mar 27th, 2009 12:43 AM


Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 621363)
Is the new Nintendo DSi seriously just a DS with a camera in it

Of course not - it also can't play GBA games.

kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 01:18 AM


the best thing about tutoring isn't learning a ton about whatever you're tutoring, it's letting everyone online know you did.

Don't get all jealous cause you're a dumbass, chojin. I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR SUBPAR INTELLIGENCE.

LordSappington Mar 27th, 2009 01:32 AM

I just got back from the Austin Rodeo '09. I'm terribly disappointed I forgot my camera; there were so many insane rides. They had several rotating, flipping arm rides, one of those straight loops that just go around on a car, and even one of those centrifugal UFO rides. That was by far my favorite; I almost got kicked out of the fair for turning myself upside down.

kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 01:39 AM



WhiteRat Mar 27th, 2009 08:41 AM

Nothing beats two god damn tornado warnings for my entire county for the second morning in a row.

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 09:03 AM

kahl: are you claiming to have superpar intelligence? :P

Esuohlim Mar 27th, 2009 01:08 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 27th, 2009 02:01 PM


Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 621766)
I almost got kicked out of the fair for turning myself upside down.

They hate that big time. This lady got really mad at me because I managed to get upside before the ride even started.

kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 03:34 PM

Not anymore than anybody else who mimics jackasses...

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 03:37 PM

There are two strange women at my door, ringing the doorbell, ignoring my NO SOLICITATION sign. I'm not answering. Fuck them if they can't read :(

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 03:40 PM

Maybe they are not soliciting.

kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 03:41 PM

maybe you should answer and tell them no soliciting.


kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 03:43 PM



Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 03:43 PM

You need rottweiler barks on a cassette tape volume 5

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 03:50 PM

I just called my mom down the street and she apparently already had a fight with them.


MOM: (opening door) I have a no soliciting sign.

TWO WOMEN: Oh, we're not soliciting. We want to tell you about an important event at the Kingdom Hall...

MOM: You are soliciting, you're selling your religion. I'm not interested. (slams door in their faces)

I went and opened my door and I've got an "invitation" to a Very Special Event at my local Kingdom Hall of JWs on April 9.

My ex was a JW. I dislike them very much for peddling religion door to door.

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 03:54 PM

Such a waste of paper.

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 03:56 PM

I collect them. I figure the worst thing I can do to them dignity-wise is save up a bunch and turn the lot over to a bunch of first-year anthropology students to make fun of.

Still have my "fornicator" booklet from that garage sale last year.

Babs Mar 27th, 2009 04:08 PM

I'm heading for Indiana today! FINALLY OUT OF OHIO, but sadly it's only for an hour :(

Zomboid Mar 27th, 2009 04:11 PM

Back when I had long hair and a goatee, I was waiting for at a bus stop and this lady gave me a pamphlet to SAVE ME. I kept it and read it every night!

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 04:12 PM

be sure to pick up some CANDLES AND FIREWORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

srsly be careful in Eaton, they bust people coming back over the border. They live for it.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 27th, 2009 04:13 PM

Do It To It!

Babs Mar 27th, 2009 04:15 PM

fireworks, gotta have em

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 04:19 PM

Apparently I need to add to my sign outside the door. It currently says NO SOLICITATION, THANK YOU. I just printed up a new one:


Because what I've been running into the past few weeks is that people seem to keep exempting themselves from the "solicitation" label, and it's pissing me off.

The other night some guy actually walked door to door IN THE RAIN to try and get money for a make-a-wish ripoff that didn't even sound real. I told him no thank you and left him in the rain.

I hate the door to door thing. I really, really hate it. I used to get in fights with my teachers over school fundraisers because I'd bring the participation levels way down. No one should be doing that shit.

Babs Mar 27th, 2009 04:30 PM

I need to post the no soliciting religious visits, reason being is because smack dab in the middle of my subdivision is a mormon church. They come up to my door just about everyday in there little tidy suites talking about Joseph Smith and his god dam plates and how he deciphers that shit in one month. It's annoying and pathetic, makes me glad that atleast I'm not prancing around wasting my life going door to door for some shit guy.

kahljorn Mar 27th, 2009 04:34 PM

i hate people who go door to door to get money for their cousins funeral and always have an old black and white printed picture of them.

Or those shit eating kids who sell candy for their church and their parents are always lookin at you like, YOU BETTER BUY IT ITS A CHILD FOR CHRISTS SAKE DONT RUIN THEIR HOPE OF BEING AN ANNOYING SALEMEN IN PARKINGLOTS IN FRONT OF BUSINESSES. and i always see the same kids doing it and they do it year round ;\

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 04:41 PM

"Future Mormon missionary" baby bib:

This is the sign I REALLY want:

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 09:26 PM

I was assuming this was a thread about drinking, apparently I am quite mistaken.

Willie must be sad...


Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 09:35 PM

You should post a new pic. I bet you got fat.

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 09:40 PM

Actually... no

but I'll post a new pic anyway..

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 09:42 PM

The end justifies the means. ;)

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 09:45 PM

And I don't remember who you are, does that justify anything to your means?

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 09:52 PM

Not knowing anything about me gives me the advantage, so yes it does.

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 09:54 PM

So, your implying being a stalker is ok?

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 09:56 PM

:lol not at all :rolleyes

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 09:59 PM

I posted a pic so you can stop pulling a milhouse :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 10:01 PM

That wasn't a pic, that was a disaster.

Lenor Mar 27th, 2009 10:03 PM

So are you, but....

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 10:05 PM

I can't decide who needs make up more.

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 10:11 PM

I went to a drive-thru ice cream place and there were a bunch of idiot fucktard teenagers waving madly at us through the restaurant window as we drove past, so I waved like a fucktard back and made them feel alive!

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 10:12 PM

That's right. Back down. Now pm me you A cups.

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 10:16 PM

Do you have something against small-breasted women, Tadao?

Tadao Mar 27th, 2009 10:17 PM

My cock usually.

Kitsa Mar 27th, 2009 10:18 PM


glad I'm safe then!

Babs Mar 28th, 2009 07:04 AM


RaNkeri Mar 28th, 2009 09:22 AM


10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 28th, 2009 10:54 AM

I don't know if I have pink eye or if I just scratched my cornea. I'm hoping for the latter.

Fathom Zero Mar 28th, 2009 11:42 AM

Nothing force on Earth or in the heavens could get me to touch my eye. It's the nastiest thing ever.

RaNkeri Mar 28th, 2009 11:49 AM

I've once accidently scratched my eye with a pointy fingernail. Didn't do ay damage but it hurt like a son of a bitch

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 28th, 2009 12:43 PM

It's really kind of pink. I've been coughing really hard this week, hoping it's just from that. I need to cut my nails too though. I can touch my eye okay, contacts bug me out though so I don't get them.

Kitsa Mar 28th, 2009 12:56 PM

I had contacts melt to my eyes twice. The funny thing about that was that it was under the same exact circumstances almost exactly one year apart.

Tadao Mar 28th, 2009 03:02 PM

Yay! It's apocalypse movies on scifi today!

Kitsa Mar 28th, 2009 03:08 PM

I think I'll make coffee jello today.

It's fun to eat it in front of people and give them the oogies, but it's actually not bad.

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