There's a hole in my ASS
 

I decided to go on a hike down to the beach just about an hour ago, needed to kill some time (still do, obviously) and I got down there and realized it wasn't the kind of beach to be wearing sandals in, it was gooey algy covered muck stuff. I walk onward to take a different trail out and I have to get over these big logs, and I get over the first two fine but the third one is too tall to walk over and I step up one leg at a time then the sandals give up on algea covered logs and I slip right onto a knoll (is that the term? it used to be a branch but now it was just a short spike thing.) Ow, shit, I say, hearing the ripping noises. It hurts to bad to think about it for a moment, and then I start checking damages methodically. Pants, hole in the pants, underpants, hole in the underpants, ass, ass seems fine! Woohoo! A little swollen, maye. But I just got back home and checked in the mirror and it turns out there's a huge bleeding gash, 4 or 5 inches long, carved into it. It's really gnarly, I havn't bled this much in a while.

So what do you guys think I should do? Think this warrants any kind of medical attention or should I tough it out? Which method do you think will cause the least amount of horrendous scaring?

Whoa man beaches can be dangerous. I suggest you just wash that shit and if its not way deep cut just let it rest. Unless of course the cut part is inside your ass and if thats the case i feel really, really bad for you sir.

I think a trip to casualty would be in order. You could have all manner of bacteria and crap in there not to mention you might need stiches. :(

yeah you don't want to get your ass infected :x

Remove the affected buttock NOW, for god's sake!

Pour some alcohol on it and scoot around on your stomach for a few days. >:

Medical Care is expensive! That's why you have people dying of holes in their asses all the time in this country!

Yeah, I think you should get that looked at.

Screw all of you bitches! I aint doin' shit!

I'm sitting on it right now, blood fusing to my clothes, and I feel FINE.

I was looking for ADVICE, not another "give into the man" speech!

Re: There's a hole in my ASS
 

rog beat me to it :/

I am shocked that Mock saw the opportunity to link to one of the minimocks and took it :O

PS: I seem to only post while drunk now :(

I think you did the right thing. Drag your bleeding ass home and quickly post on the internet, on a forum that Mocks people no less, and ask for advice!

1.

2.

3.

4.

Jeanette is like the Brian Fellow of the boards.

You could put gunpouder into the cut then light it to seal the cut, it worked for rambo.

You bunch of cocksuckers.

i had a similar experience, except that i was at a punk concert and i fell on a piece of glass from a broken bottle and i didn't know that i had cut my ass until the next morning at which point i promptly got myself to a doc-in-a-box for stitches. 7 of them. in my butt. i have a scar.

oo
 

let it bleed for a while threw the pants you got on. (this way, your pants well resemble a women in her monthly duty, thus saving you the money for a cool sex change)

When I first saw the topic, I thought "omg, another idiot posting some crap about finding his asshole" and then I opened the thread and WOWEEE that sounds like it hurt :o

OMFG it's tenno's arch nemisis from that other thread! :O

Im am deeply offended...I myself happen to be a rather unintelligent fellow, so when I go to the bathroom I used to often wonder where my "brown trout" came from...at first i thought it was wasteful anal dwarves...but a short while later i discovered (to extreme surprise) that my bum did indeed posses a hole in it...so next time you call someone an idiot for finding what everyone should know about in the first place...think of the people like me...and starving kids in Africa...Go live 8!!!!

if i find another post like that, i'm sending you on the first train to bantown ;<

One-way ticket! >:

:highfive

oo
 

i got a cut on my finger today it hurt its almost half an inch long. i love you.

thats nothing....one time i was on my way to the beach and we had an innertube, this tube had a long rope on it and we thought that it was all inside of the car....we were driving along and all of a sudden *Snap* the rope got tight and cut my leg pretty badly...it turns out that part of it was wrapped around the tire....

oh and i got bit by a bat and had to have rabies shots

Re: oo
 

your finger is half an inch long? :badumpsh

Re: oo
 

seriously

shut it.

This is the worst tastin' pickle I ever hoid!