I-Mockery Forum - Man Drinks Little Boy Urine!

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Man Drinks Little Boy Urine!

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Police: Man Hides In Bathrooms, Drinks Boys' Urine

Man Previously Convicted Of Rape

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A Central Ohio man allegedly told police last week that he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys.

Alan Patton, 54, is in jail after allegedly telling Gahanna, Ohio, police about his affection for urine.

Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.

"He goes back and retrieves the cup and drinks the urine," Detective Ron Fithen said.

Patton allegedly told police that he leaves the stall after the child leaves.

Fithen interviewed Patton after he was arrested while leaving a movie theater last weekend.

"Listening to him describe it, it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.

According to police, Patton said he's been drinking urine for years.

"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.

Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."

A New Albany, Ohio, father played a role in Patton's arrest. He told someone at a movie theater that Patton was staring at his son in the bathroom. The theater employee then called police.

Officials said Patton is a registered sexual predator, who was convicted of rape 13 years ago.

Police believe Patton has been collecting and drinking urine in cities around Central Ohio, including Hilliard, Westerville, Dublin, Worthington and Gahanna.

Source: http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/7502034/detail.html#

At least he didn't get it straight from the tap :lol :(

My cousins live in Columbus, and they are five and eight, and go to the movies like every other week.

People are sick and disgusting. Especially old farts.

And I don't like Columbus either.

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"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.

Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."

Was he thinking that he was drinking their youth when he was seven?!?!?

Honestly this could almost be another episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark :(

Oh but when R. Kelly does it it's an act of god.

You rap fans are ridiculous (Marc Summers)

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Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

when R. Kelly does it it's an act of god.

I didn't know an R&B fan (GADZOOKS) could hate rap so much...but if you like R. Kelly so much as to call him a god when he drinks pee, then, well, the only options you have are either therapy or an aluminum bat to the head. Good luck with that...

An Aluminum Bat? That would hurt!

Marc Summers are you serious?

Why, nobody was referring to you, gadzooks! You act as if there was somebody out to get you! I was only using the hypothetical "you", which can refer to anybody! And the all caps GADZOOKS in parentheses was just an exclamation, because I just saw a large spider and had to kill it before it made spider babies!

I'm terribly sorry if I have offended you in any way. Are we cool?

Hey there's a secret message Marc, nice try pal.

Make sure to drink your....ovaltine?

What the fuck is your deal Marc, the dad just died, you heartless bi....

OHHHH :lol

Are you physically able to roll your eyes and come off as exasperated or sarcastic or do people just end up feeling sorry for you?

His lazy eye rolls the other way.

WHen I'm old I'm gonna suck kid dick all the time

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Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips

WHen I'm old I'm gonna suck kid dick all the time

Why wait?

I saw this on another message board. Wierd, and a completely different demographic than this one, at that.

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Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips

WHen I'm old I'm gonna suck kid dick all the time

To an eight year old, you are old.

...Man chopping off his own penis and then cooking it...check...Judge using a penis pump during a trial...check...man drinking children's urine...check. Yep, I've officially seen everything this world has to offer.

There was a coach at my highschool in like 96 or 97 that would give students pot and buy them alcohol in return for their urine. He claimed that he needed it because he was tested on by the military and he needed their "Vitamins".

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Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge

You're coach was telling the truth. That kind of stuff happens all the time in the military.

ok, listen, new girl. you aren't so pretty that your user pic needs to take up half of the fucking screen.

RESIZE >:

You're moniter is 640 pixels wide?

Time to upgrade.

i think you need to upgrade to shut up

You're not gonna win the girl Johnny Couth, your face makes nuns cry. :rolleyes

seriously though why doesn't the avatar thing automatically reject pictures that break the rules :( i thought that was its JOB

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Originally Posted by Seven Force

You're not gonna win the girl Johnny Couth, your face makes nuns cry. :rolleyes

No amount of ugly wouldn't be worth being able make nuns cry just by looking at them.

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Originally Posted by glowbelly

ok, listen, new girl. you aren't so pretty that your user pic needs to take up half of the fucking screen.

RESIZE >:

atleast she doesnt have a dumb baby as a picture

shut up, you! that baby's not dumb! he can blabber and squeal with the best of 'em!

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Originally Posted by Poringez

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Originally Posted by glowbelly

ok, listen, new girl. you aren't so pretty that your user pic needs to take up half of the fucking screen.

RESIZE >:

atleast she doesnt have a dumb baby as a picture

Picking on adults is one thing, but babies? You are a cold, cold man.

iam afraid of baby's since the baby attack of '93

excuse me, at least my baby knows to pick on people his own age, not someone 9 years younger than him >:

OH THAT'S RIGHT PORINGONZO I CALLED YOU A CHILD. A 10 YEAR OLD CHILD JUST IN CASE YOU ARE NOT SO SMART WITH THE MATH.

NOW WHAT?! huh?!

Have we forgotten that there is a GROWN MAN, that DRINKS LITTLE BOY'S URINE??

I think there are more important things to worry about here, but I guess some people just don't understand the issues!

Like Poringez, that urine-drinking faggot.

OH SHUT UP!!! NEVERMIND THE OLD DUDE DRINKING THE LITTLE BOY'S PISS! Seven that is done now.

Poringes or whatever your name is, needs to go to Mock Wars!!! Your ass is MINE mutherfucker!!!!

Oh!! But first, I need some background on you. Are you a he or she? It'll help the battle a bit. :meaneyes