Text Adventure: The Toystore of the Dammed!!!
 

Its a Bright and beautiful day! The Sky is blue, all the leaves are green, and the Sun is as warm as a Baked Potatoe. Yes, it is a Great day to be alive, the kind of day where even the most depressed teenager could not consider committing suicide.

To add to the Greatness of this day, its also the day your grandma comes to visit! Or it would be if only she hadnt fallen down those stairs and broken her neck. At least she left you a lot of money. And a kid with money means one thing....


TOYSTORE!


So after hours upon hours of pestering your mother, she caves in and takes you to the Biggest, greatest, most wonderful toystore in the World! Toyopolis.


You have your money in your hand, and you are going towards the door. To the north are the doors to the store. to the south is the Parking lot. To the west there is glass where you see the wonderful toys inside and the stores mascot, Leroy the Hillbilly Bear.


What do you do.

close firefox

Go inside, buy a alluminum base ball bat, beat the shit out of the bear w/ bat, steal wallet. There. Now you have more money than before. Then if mommy bitches say shell be next.

emu: Only idiots use Firefox

zeldasbiggestfan: Learn how to play a text adventure

this game sucks, where are the pictures?

What do you use, Opera? Netscape? Or do you just masturbate directly into the A:\ drive?

Either IE or Maxthon.
---

Now, Someone actually go along with this insane experiment.

>Get Magic Lamp

After Looking around, you find a Magic Lamp (Just go along with it, because the only way this is going to get anywhere is to just suspend all logic)! Your hands shake as you pick it up. You wet your lips expectantly as you bring your hand up and you start to rub the parking lot dust from the lamp! You Gasp in suprise as you see that the being inside the lamp was...



VANILLA ICE!!! Your Childhood hero and the one whom you emulate. Hell, he is the most popular recording artist at your school. All day long during class you sing his hits, like "Ice Ice Baby", "Ninja Rap" and, ummmmm.................................... did I say Ice Ice Baby. Oh well, whatever.

So Vanilla Ice tells you that he knows the way through the toystore. But you only get three hints to get through the dangerous traps that lie within the toystore. If you exceed the limit for Hints, Something thats "Uncool" will happen to you.

So crossing his arms and just looking as cool as his picture, he gets sucked back into the lamp and you take the lamp with you.

You are at the entrance to the toystore.

>If the toystore is open, then open door.

>If toystore is closed, then break window.

>私はtoystore を書き入れる。

You approach the door and you attempt to open it, But to your surprise it opens by itself. The Store Must be MAGIC! Feeling the Euphoric feeling that can only come from coming to a magic toystore you enter the store.

You look around, its more beautiful than you imagined. Leroy the Hillbilly Bear is waving to you, the employees are happy with smiling, and each sign to each section of the store is illuminated to show you the way to JOY! Even Vanilla Ice is Taken Aback by the Sight of the Toystore, as he can only react to the Beauty surrounding him with a simple "Man this Shit is Tiiiight"

What are you going to do next?

>KILL LEROY... I mean, ask for the most popular item of the season.

Popular? Who the hell needs popular? >Get Z-bots.

save, examine Leroy

Game Saved




After Comtemplating killing the bear, you realize that you have all day to kill him. So you look around for that new toy they have been advertising (You know the one, that one that All the kids want. So you find it sitting on a nearby shelf and the price tag Horrifys you. 17.95 for a fucking toy. No way in hell are you going to find pay good money for that thing. You would rather just get the generic Ripoffs they sell in the back. The "Z-Bots"


This is a Z-Bot

So you happily make your way to the back to where your prize awaits you! But on the way, you see Leroy, the hillbilly Bear Staring at you.

Staring

Staring with his eyes black as night. An unholy glow enamenating from him as the store lights shine down on him.

Without words, without a sound, he beckons to you. Almost daring you to come towards it.

Yo approach that bear and you look upon his visage, his face in perpetual Smile. He scares the shit out of you So you run away in the general direction of the Z-Bots.

shoplift z-bot

You after retreating from the horror of Leroy the hillbilly bear, You make it to the Z-Bots. Their Cheap plastic gleams in the dull light of the back of the store. You reach out and grab one of the Z-Bots. Something that Vanilla Ice Strongly Objects to by saying "Thats not fly DAWG.".

You Stuff the Toy down your pants and turn around, right into the arms of Leroy the Hillbilly bear. In the distance you hear the Soundtrack from Deleverance. Quickly you have to make a decision to protect yourself from death or at the very least a Backwoods assraping!

Save, perform "Ninja Rap" Duet with Vanilla Ice.

twist leroy's mask around
punch leroy

ban fatherspaz

Cool it Jixby I'm leaving once this shit is finished

you're leaving after a shitty thread is "finished"? is that like leaving after "last poster wins" is finished?

Jeeze, sorry for enjoying interactive fiction.

you still haven't apologized for being a complete creep that enjoyed pretending to be a girl for over a year on the internets