Lol whut
 

My girlfriend of two months broke up with me because her feelings were based off a rush she got from me asking her out after she had been interested in me for four years running. We had been really good friends throughout that period.

Basically that I should stick to strangers is what I'm getting out of this.

I think she was cheatin on ya dude.

I think she was cheating on him with YOU, Zelda. You should be ashamed of yourself! Drugging her with Ether and then tying her up, keeping her imprisoned in a garden shed? What the fuck were you thinking?

Its not my fault! Willie dared me!

Stop trying to pass the blame onto someone who had NOTHING to do with your criminal behavior.

Sorry :tear

She was covering for something else and trying to make something less bad in comparison seem plausable.