unrhyming poem
 

Don't take offense by my cold-hearted vision.. I cant escape the dreams of my head

angel, you forgot to include directions to your house. what am i? fucking psychic?

:lol

sadie, you don't know where the land of tears is? :lol

You must enjoy being made fun of because of your poems. Otherwise, you are just fucking stupid. >:

am i being mocked

that's a better poem than your first one.

fine ill stop my shit with the fuckn poems okay... maybe ill just start critisizing your shit..

[center:f4ab6382e9]I'M FROM THE LAND OF TEARS
:CRY :CRY :CRY THE TEARS NEVER STOP
TEARS ARE LIKE RAIN IN THE LAND OF TEARS, ONLY THEY'RE TEARS
TEARS FORM FLOODS
A TIDAL WAVE, IF YOU WILL, OF TEARS
SOON THE WHOLE LAND, THE LAND OF TEARS, WILL SINK IN THE FLOOD, WHICH IS A FLOOD OF TEARS
THE POPULATION OF THE LAND OF TEARS WILL DROWN IN THE TEARS THEY CAUSED, WHICH TURNED INTO A FLOOD
A FLOOD OF TEARS
THERE IS A LAND OF TEARS NO MORE
NOW IT'S AN OCEAN OF TEARS
AN OCEAN OF TEARS
AN OCEAN OF TEARS
:cry[/center:f4ab6382e9]

Esuohlim.... stop being such a fuckn fag. if your gonna make fun of me, just make alittle more sense.

omg. esuohlim. it's like alice in wonderland when her tears form a tidalwave and burst through the talking-lock door. maybe angel's the carpenter? he was so stupid he lost out on all the curious oysters. no. wait a minute. i know. angel must be the little mouse in the mad hatter's sugar dish: "twinkle, twinkle, little bat. . ." :lol

So sadie, did you find the land of tears yet?

matt shut up

Satn thats good I've got a few heres one of mine;

Quietly I went through,
Lookin for a gift for you,
But not one was in sight,
no candy that sweet, no stone that bright.

Thats when i realized nothins good enough for you,
But here is my heart wich I gladly give to you.


I wrote this and put it with the necklace I gave to my ex-girlfriend.

Oh isn't that sweet? You give her a necklace and sappy poem...yet you do not spend time with her because you are afraid people will find out you are the father of her child. If you really gave a shit about her, you would be with her and openly admit that the baby is yours. What kind of person says "I love you, but I can't be seen with you."? What do you care if people know its your baby? If you truly loved her you wouldn't care what people think.

"I love you,
You love me,
Going down the honey tree.
We'll go down the honey-tree,
and they'll be lots of bees,
playing,
playing.
but they won't sting me,
because you love me."

excuse me if I didn't quote that exactly, hopefully someone will catch the reference, it's the first thing that came to mind when I read gothnahaircuttwobits poem.

Ive already answered this, yeah we see each other and yes people know now who the baby belongs to. At the time we had exams and didn't want questions but now were open.

if thats true... then good for you as long as you live up to responsibilities

Yes If I pay for the baby and care about it and I make one bad choice... anyways a person can't change their past so why bother them about it I've really changed since I have a daughter to support like it or not thats who I am deal with you fuckers satn thanks for the support And Mariz if you happen to read this thank you

Then why do you still refer to her as your ex-girlfriend and not your fiance? And why weren't you open when had exams? What fucking difference does it make?

We didn't want to be bothered by other people during that time.

You mean you decided that it was just too hard to deal with at the time. :boohoo Well tough shit kid. Learn to stand up for her even when it is hard, otherwise you aren't going to make a terrible good husband.

yeah, goth, you really need to deal with the responsibilities of having a fake girlfriend, and make sure that you take care of and provide for both her and your imaginary baby. It's going to be really hard to balance all of this with your responsibilities as a "colledge" professor, when you become one in a few months, and all of that compounded with the modelling job. You're really going to need to get your shit together.

:suicide <---- only way out goth! >:

If you want a real critique of your poetry, go here:

http://www.deviantart.com/

It's an art site...I post my songs there. [/url]