Amusement Parks
 

My first new Visionary Darkness piece in a while.

http://www.i-mockery.com/visionary/amusementparks.asp

Yeah, read it yesterday. Funny, loved the pics.

I totally identified, except i have an unending hatred for the entire park, not just the water section and the people.

I'm pretty sure any theme park that has a "WATER FUN!!!" section will attract fugly people. I went to Six Flags Ohio with my friend for a vacation last year, and it completely sucked. It rained the whole damn time, and our hotel caught on fire. To top it off, the entire park consisted of carnie-folk. There was not one good looking guy there. Chances are they all went to Cedar Point. I think I died and went to hell when I stumbled upon the water park.

I like the big slides they have at water parks. And walking around all wet isn't so bad, because it is usually fucking hot in amusement parks.

I went to Paramount canada's wonderland ( in Toronto) last week.. or two weeks ago..whatever.
I have also developed an imunity of fear. But that sucks because now, I hardly enjoy the biggest rides as much as I used to when I was new to the thrill, and besides, waiting 30 mins at 30(celcius) for a 2min ride is not enjoyable at all.

But about the fat people...my theory is that they don't fit in the rides. Now, they have added thiese TVs at the rides, and they say that "guests" with "large body proportions" might be excluded from some rides ( because the straps or bars or whatever won't go down all the way and lock into place).

But have you ever considered how much it must suck to be 7feet tall in a theme park? You can't ride the cool rides, because either your head or your feet would hit something during the ride. That must be so frustrating ( being tall..not getting killed).

I laugh at fat people at amusement parks who try to get on the rides. The ride attendant always kicks them off when the restraint doesn't fit, and then they bitch about how they shouldn't make the seats so small.

God, it must suck when part of your job is making stuff sound politically correct. I'm positive anyone who's had to come up with phrases like 'large body proportions' or 'vertically challenged' dreams about the days when you could just put up a sign that said 'No ******s on bus'.

Proto. You have a thought stealing device somehwere. I SWEAR TO THE GODS OF OLYMPUS that I was going to try and write a mock of water parks based on my at work experience.

Pretty much everyone who goes to Water Country USA is roughly 50-250 lbs overweight, ugly as is humanly possible, and dumb as a fairly intelligent hamster. You just touched on the giant pool of humanities failure that is Water park patrons.

I wish you could've seen my reaction when I got to the water park part of that mock. All in all you did a damn good job describing it.

Actually, I forgot to mention this, but I hardly saw any fat people in Wonderland ( maybe cause I avoid the waterpark).

Most fat people are no more than 50 pounds overweight, and those are the fatest I saw. And it was Muslim family day too, and I saw some of those girls who wear a robe which lets you see only the eyes.. all dressed in black.. they went on the big rides too. It just feels so strange to see them go into a roaller coaster. Kinda like seing a nun into a roaller coaster.

those people are so scary too me cuz i feel wrong looking at them. and its not like the religon forces them into it here, they do it by there own will. Even in the middle east women still show there faces. its jus those select few that seem to make all muslims stereotyped

Muslims like to have fun too.

Eh, that's nothing. At the Six Flags here, at the water park, a Muslim woman slid down the water slide with all of her robes on.

The signs I've seen all refer to "unusual body proportions". I thought they were pretty damn funny. And some of them had sample seats out in front of the line so you could see if you are too fat to get on while you're still waiting in line.

I wouldn't be surprised if I ever saw a muslim woman wearing a scuba diving suit with a hood at the water park.

good job, proto, that was funny. of course, the parks down here are pretty much the complete opposite of everything that you just described.

Well, yeah, but it just felt weird, you know how their are stereotyped as really conservative people and all in their country, with strict women-abusing rules...

but then, all that is just shatered when you see them wearing nikee t-shirts and going into roaller coasters

Wouldn't it be cool if there was this amusement park island thing filled with zombies, and at the entrance you can pick several types of makeshift weapons and armor? That would be great to relieve tension. :)

Yeah that would be super!

I have my own amusment park called Wiffle Land! ^_^

:love Wiffle Land :love