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-   -   One Got Fat: A Bicycle Safety Film (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69698936)

MockBot Jan 31st, 2008 06:52 AM

One Got Fat: A Bicycle Safety Film
 
Automatically generated comment thread for One Got Fat: A Bicycle Safety Film.

Ozzie Jan 31st, 2008 07:19 AM

Monkey torture death zone is officially my new favorite phrase.

KrytenSyxx Jan 31st, 2008 09:04 AM

"Slim knew his big sack would be hard to handle."

Wow.

Jigby Huggletinks Jan 31st, 2008 10:35 AM

The noise when Slim and Trigby fall down the manhole is terrifying.

Codiekitty Jan 31st, 2008 10:37 AM

Wait, if the fat kid crushed his bike, why can he AND that skinny one be together on another?

mbkerr Jan 31st, 2008 10:46 AM

They DO have a "hear no evil" moment! It's when Mossby Pomegranate fails in his Flash impersonation. You even included a picture of him doing it!

Mintrude Jan 31st, 2008 11:15 AM

Look at Orville's ears. Yikes.

Jigby Huggletinks Jan 31st, 2008 11:25 AM

Actually, I don't see why Slim's fat ass isn't running with Mossby, he could seriously use it.

BakaGaijin Jan 31st, 2008 12:08 PM

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

rizzo Jan 31st, 2008 01:05 PM

Holy crap, those damn dirty apes were assholes to boot! It's a good thing Moses blew up that Omega Bomb thingy and killed 'em all.

Neen Jan 31st, 2008 01:16 PM

Right? Right? Riiiiiiiight?

RIGHT!

executioneer Jan 31st, 2008 01:50 PM

TRIGBY'S NOTES

Mockery Jan 31st, 2008 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Codiekitty (Post 529062)
Wait, if the fat kid crushed his bike, why can he AND that skinny one be together on another?

Exactly my point. I guess Trigby's bike must be made of solid steel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mbkerr (Post 529063)
They DO have a "hear no evil" moment! It's when Mossby Pomegranate fails in his Flash impersonation. You even included a picture of him doing it!

Hehe I understand from the picture it looks like that, but he's really just smacking his cheeks in a "aaaahhhhh!!!" king of way, just like Kevin in Home Alone.

Nick Jan 31st, 2008 04:30 PM

This movie must have scared a whole generation of kids shitless!

Christine d'Abo Jan 31st, 2008 06:29 PM

Nightmares...I will have them.

*runs off to show her children*

Pandajuice Jan 31st, 2008 06:46 PM

Good lord. I'm very glad after seeing this that I grew up in the 80s rather than the freaked out 60s.

JackSchmidtKnifeThrower Jan 31st, 2008 06:56 PM

Funny, I have seen the video a while back because I stumbled across it so I knew what -RoG- was talking about. Thats what I've been thinking, They don't even stop for their friends. Monkey Torture Death Zone.

blacksamster Jan 31st, 2008 07:29 PM

This... is... absolutely amazing.

Colonel Flagg Jan 31st, 2008 08:37 PM

This reminds me of those "health" class videos we were chained down and forced to watch in 7th and 8th grade (Syphillis! - Don't let this happen to YOU!). Excellent job.

greenimp Jan 31st, 2008 09:57 PM

i saw those monkey masks and immediatly thought "perfect B-movie material!" think about it, "Night of the Killer Monkey Cyclists"

Doctor_Who Feb 1st, 2008 01:00 AM

In a bizarre twisted way this reminds me of that banned music video for "Prime time of your life" by Daft Punk. The one where everyone but one kid is a skeleton. I'm quite certain that those monkey masks are far more terrifying than bones, however.

Tetsu Deinonychus Feb 1st, 2008 02:33 AM

I think you were right about the hallucinogens, Rog.

I also thought the "squish" sound when the steamroller hit was especially morbid.

Dungeonbrownies Feb 1st, 2008 04:06 AM

that picture of the omnkey masks is really going to give me nightmares, its almost as bad as that film, harpya

atomictophat Feb 1st, 2008 04:24 AM

I joined I-Mockery to say one thing and thing only.

A bicycle safety film where APES EVOLVE FROM MEN!?!

Someone had to say it.

Pentegarn Feb 1st, 2008 08:07 AM

"He may not be a monkey, but he's clearly an asshole. He left his stranded, injured and dead friends behind all so that he could eat their lunches?"

I suggest a different view of this. In an earlier shot, you see the other nine monkeys having fun, but you don't see Orville. I think Orville resented the fact that he was good enough to be their mule, but not good enough to frolic with the nine monkeys in that shot. So when they all ended up in traction, he ate their lunch in an act of revenge. :P

thecatillaccat Feb 1st, 2008 09:50 AM

creepy-dead-looking-black-eyeholes-of-doom.

Hyphenated words FTW. But seriously. Those masks are frigging creepy.

mburbank Feb 1st, 2008 11:58 AM

Those masks are friggin' brilliant handcrafted outsider art.

Mockery Feb 1st, 2008 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 529347)
I suggest a different view of this. In an earlier shot, you see the other nine monkeys having fun, but you don't see Orville. I think Orville resented the fact that he was good enough to be their mule, but not good enough to frolic with the nine monkeys in that shot. So when they all ended up in traction, he ate their lunch in an act of revenge. :P

Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.

RaxaR Feb 1st, 2008 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery (Post 529374)
Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.


I think you might be onto something there, perhaps all the little monkey kids aren't the horrible bastards we think they are for leaving their dead comrads lying in the street. Rather than being indifferent to all the bloody corpses they were too concerned about that asshole orville running off with their lunches to notice.....


besides that, shouldn't we maybe give some of the blame for running over the monkey kids to the people driving the cars? especially the steam roller, how hard can it be to stop something going a whopping 400 feet per hour?

BurntToShreds Feb 1st, 2008 08:55 PM

I'm not watching that thing. I'll probably have nightmares if I do.

BigMac500 Feb 1st, 2008 09:30 PM

I think those masks are to scare the children into such shock that they will not wish to leave the house. No bicycle riding means no being crushed by steam rollers, which means improved safety! Huzzah!

panther3k Feb 2nd, 2008 12:50 AM

That music sounded like it was from a Ren & Stimpy episode.

mobo85 Feb 2nd, 2008 02:53 AM

The film's narrator is Edward Everett Horton, an old-time actor probably best known nowadays as the narrator of the "Fractured Fairy Tales" on The Bullwinkle Show.

The son of the director of this film had some things to say about this:

http://animationguildblog.blogspot.c...fety-this.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by panther3k
That music sounded like it was from a Ren & Stimpy episode.

Ren & Stimpy mostly used old production music, so some of the cues might actually have been used in this film.

mew barios Feb 2nd, 2008 11:36 AM

like anyone would care if a bunch of monkeys ended up in the hospital

Jaimas Feb 2nd, 2008 12:34 PM

I've seen horror movies less frightening then the contents of this movie.

incognit000 Feb 2nd, 2008 01:30 PM

So let me get this straight...

Your reward for biking safely is to get fat eating monkey food?

And there's a thin green line that goes through everything.

Spruce Moose Feb 2nd, 2008 01:44 PM

Why must the narrator keep saying "Right?...right." after every death? It's unsettling!

Count Mek Feb 2nd, 2008 04:48 PM

When I saw the picture that showed the apes I had to scroll back up the page and calm myself down before I could continue, also, they need to put a Death Count on the top left corner, ever death it goes up by one! Mwahahahahaa.
Ace find -RoGelz-!

Flashman Feb 2nd, 2008 07:59 PM

beggars the question why fat monkey kid didnt jump off if he could plainly see he was about to ride into the hole

Count Mek Feb 2nd, 2008 08:37 PM

I was thinking the EXACT same thing Mr. Flashman! I mean, 20 SECONDS is a loooong time to react to something like imminent death.

TheDoomThing Feb 3rd, 2008 10:58 AM

Hmmm, Maybe Orville had a grudge on them, so he BRAINWASHED them to be hits by cars,steamroller etc.

Pentegarn Feb 3rd, 2008 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery (Post 529374)
Fuck that. What really happened at the very beginning of the film is Orville sped on ahead to the park to eat their lunches when the monkeys weren't looking, this caused all of the monkeys to worry regarding the whereabouts of both Orville and their lunches. As a result, their minds being so distracted with worriment, each monkey didn't pay enough attention to the road and got picked off one by one.

You know you're distracted when you let a steamroller crush you.

That works too. As long as someone is fucking someone over I'm happy :lol

Slobulus Feb 4th, 2008 11:51 PM

HAHAHA @ 10:59 When Filbert gets crushed. You can even hear the blood squish out of his body! HAHAHAAHAH! Oh man. This shit is priceless! Even his eye balls bulges out.

Ahhhh ...love it. Thanks for sharing this gem. :)

neoboman Feb 5th, 2008 12:56 AM

Not the gripping, tour de force that was Bus Nut, but a worthy effort nonetheless.

Badgers ate my FaCe Feb 5th, 2008 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Article above me
I think they're missing one big point here though... Orville is going to get fat now, right? Won't that cause him to crush his own bike with his whale-like weight just like Slim supposedly did?

Simple:

"Slim" Jim Beam over there had the nickname slim for a reason. He was the previous year's take on that video's franchise. Then he ated all the lunches for himself, got fat, back on the mayo, then wrecked his car so he was bummin' rides one day down in the valley when his old buddy Fshlorgel Fshlooplalopnik offers him a ride. Then him and OJ simpson walked in, slit the lizard's throat, and jesus I am out of madness.

On a related note, I think the purpose of the masks were to show the kiddies of that day and age horribly disfigured people without *really* freakin out the snowflakes. Those are crudely misshapen, they remind me of the masks the kids wear in Pink Floyd "The Wall" Just frighteningly distiurbing.

AND FUNNY AS HELL!!!

beatpole Feb 5th, 2008 07:17 PM

Disturbing, but not nearly as disturbing as Napolean Dynamite.

xscoot Feb 6th, 2008 05:48 PM

Part of the blame actually goes towards the company that made the bike that was ridden by two kids. Who the hell puts the part where the second rider stands in front of the driver? It should always be behind the driver! It's like they were brainstorming ways to get kids into accidents so they can be paid to make this film.

Obscurus Lupa Feb 7th, 2008 01:19 AM

True story: There were no bicycle accidents in the entire 60's decade BECAUSE ALL THE KIDS WERE SCARED SHITLESS.

artimus Feb 7th, 2008 06:14 PM

I preferred Bus Nut, but that was hilarious. Good job, again, Rog! ^^
and that was...scary O___O

Grossenschwamm Feb 11th, 2008 10:56 PM

Honestly, I took the whole monkey comment as a racial connotation.

bikegeek Feb 21st, 2008 02:00 PM

All i want to know is why the monkey in the hospital is wearing a stethoscope?

Earthbound_X Apr 19th, 2008 09:23 PM

I can't believe no one mentioned bike helmets!
Did bikers not have to wear them in the 60s?
Oh, and Rifftrax just added this to thier list of shorts!

http://www.rifftrax.com/ondemand/one-got-fat

DALI-II Apr 21st, 2008 10:43 AM

My god,the producers of this shit were stoned.

Those monkey masks look creepy.

damnd May 29th, 2008 08:53 PM

The monkey boy in the ninth pic sure looks like Donkey Kong to me

ZeldaQueen Oct 4th, 2008 11:53 PM

Dear god, I could have gone for seeing one of those.

I remember this one bike safety video I saw and the "improper biking techniques" were always demonstrated by this unsuspecting (and apparently extremely stupid) dude who would bike incorrectly and get hit by a car or something. At the end of the movie, a family goes to enter a biking contest and the daughter shouts "Hey, look at that guy" and sure enough, the poor bugger's there, head wrapped in bandages, several teeth missing, and waving a bike helmet.


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