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-   -   Tales from the Longbox #23: "More Odds and Ends"! (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69699088)

Pentegarn Feb 23rd, 2008 05:38 AM

The only "evil plan" I have seen in these new Spider-Man comics is the comics themselves. Thank you for reading them and breaking them down for us so I don't have to actually read them myself. I couldn't stomache it now. I sure miss the old Spider-Man.

Jonny#5 Feb 23rd, 2008 10:39 AM

After reading about SPiderman, I'm wondering if Satan can sue MArvel for using his likeness, as I'm sure he hated being apart of such a craptacular storyline. Helll, even the Prince of Darkness gotta have standards on that type of thing.

AM I the only one here that picked up on Quesadia's devil worshipping proaganda? He's basically saying "If you paint yourself into a spot, you can always sacrafice the happiness of your loved ones to make everything right". I hope the pope gets to sucker punch the prick.

elementalblazer Feb 23rd, 2008 07:17 PM

Johnny, I would prefer if Jesus choke slammed him into a steel cage. Also I always wanted Bucky to be Captain America because any Captain that never fought Nazis is no Captain America of mine

elementalblazer Feb 23rd, 2008 07:20 PM

Also I think that Dan Slott is writing the new Spider-man

Butters Feb 23rd, 2008 10:48 PM

Great article, as always.

Spider-man sounds ridiculously god awful. And after the disaster that was House of M (I'm mainly an X-men fan, so naturally, I despise Bendis), I fully expect this crossover to not only be bad, but to completely screw up whatever parts of the Marvel U that Bendis can think of. Part of me actually hopes that it is so ridiculously lame, that everyone in comics that even considers another event will be fired.

Wyldflame Feb 24th, 2008 12:26 AM

Proto, I want to take a moment to thank you for covering Spider-Man here. Yes it's total suit, and yes Quesadia needs to be set on fire, but if I don't know what's going on, I can't accurately bitch about it, and I'm sure as hell not going to buy it my own self. So thanks, keep it up eh?

Also on the DC front, I hear you, but I don't know if you've come across the "52" trades, they broke it up into four volumes when they could have made it much worse. You seen those "Absolute" trades? I appreciate having all the extras, but christ are those things big, I'm debating buying a couple extras and making a fort out of them or something

SunnyD : Organic web shooters were ass anyway, it was all "lol lets be like the movie" come on, that's never a good idea.

And as far as the X-men? House of M didn't fuck them up. X-men has sucked for the last decade or so.

Hugo Feb 24th, 2008 06:54 PM

There's the thing that both videogame movies and comics equally lack: Respect. Think about it, we had to see several ultra lame-ass comic-based movies, and then christopher nolan and sam raimi (spider man 3 doesn't count) came up with movies that would respect both the characters and the audience. I'm not such a comic fan, but these comics are treating the audience in such a Uwe Boll fashion that it makes me dream of Quesada suffering of testicular torsion.

Observation: Testicular torsion actually hapens to some peope. Be aware.

Hugh Jerection Feb 25th, 2008 08:37 AM

Quote:

I'm going to Megacon, and Joe Quesada is gonna be there. Does anyone have some questions you want me to ask?
I have a gun and one bullet. Do you have enough integrity left to do the job yourself?

Herratik Feb 25th, 2008 09:13 AM

Proto, another blern! Hugh, I think you should rethink this "One Bullet" thing, Joey Q would probably just absorb it into his hideous neck-roll and grow stronger from the lead poisoning. The only way to kill it is to cleanse it with fire. Then sow the Marvel offices with salt and mark the ground as tainted. It's the only way. Bendis still has me onboard for "Powers" so I can't hate him...but Quesada? Remember Joey, no rage like nerd rage... that is all.

Drunken_Lemur408 Feb 26th, 2008 09:49 PM

Well, Jean Grey is a skrull. http://www.pinkkryptonite.com/2008/0...nism.html#more
I really hope Iron Man gets revealed as one, too.

Protoclown Feb 27th, 2008 12:30 AM

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

nilus
: I feel like Max has already done a fine job of trashing Ultimates 3 in the Weeklies section, so it'd probably be redundant for me to do a Longbox column about it. Check out his reviews if you haven't already!

Max: They actually have a rotating group of creative teams since it's now coming out three times a month. The first arc was written by Dan Slott, the second by Mike Carey (who I actually like most of the time). I have my suspicions though that the cheesy, condescending crap in that narration bubble was contributed by the editor rather than the writer. And that's a damn good point about Alex Ross and design. I actually hadn't even considered that before, but it makes sense.

Asmodai: What Image books out there are you referring to? The only Image books I can think of that I hear consistently good things about are The Walking Dead and Invincible (neither of which I've read). If there's other stuff I should check out, I'd love to know. Marvel still has some great books (i.e. Punisher, Iron Fist, Captain America, Daredevil) and DC's Vertigo line has in my opinion been the single best publisher of comics for the past decade.

Wyldflame: The DC Absolute volumes may be expensive, but man are they well put together. I only own two, Planetary Vol 1 and Watchmen...I'm rereading Watchmen now in Absolute form, and if any book deserves to be presented in that format, it's that one!

Drunken_Lemur408: I'm not sure that Jean Grey poster is conclusive, or if it's just a tease. They've also had Wolverine and Hawkeye posters like that. In any event, Jean's been dead since Grant Morrison's run, so it's about time some jackass editor came along and decided "oh she never really died cuz she was a skrull". I've heard it said on multiple occasions though from Quesada that Iron Man and Cap are the only heroes who are entirely off limits from being skrulls, so as to not cheapen the "impact" of Civil War. Too bad that's the only reasonable explanation for Iron Man's crazy behavior of late.

Wyldflame Feb 27th, 2008 06:27 PM

Yeah, lets not cheapen the impact of Civil War, like when Spider-Man unmasked on national television? Or the part when the devil made it all go away?

Tell you guys what though, this is how they're going to "fix" this, give this a year or so until MJ decides to tell peter the truth about what happened, or Doc Strange finally goes "By the Amuretto Eye of Arkansas, mystic energies are all fucked up, it must be the devil. But I can't beat the devil, we have to get help from the only man who can" and the next page is the two of them at the doorstep of Castle Doom. I'm calling it, right the hell now.

BakaGaijin Feb 29th, 2008 02:48 PM

Cap's suit is the flag of Puerto Rico. That's not very American, considering it's not a true "state" of the US: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Puerto_Rico

copacetic Mar 2nd, 2008 01:28 AM

My wallet is thanking me for dropping Spiderman just as One More Day wrapped up. I really wanted to get back into Spiderman after Straczynski's excellent run of late (being a primarily DC guy), but this...this just made me throw up a little in my mouth. I actually had the first two issues of Brand New Day sitting in my box at my local comic book store, and I had a feeling I wanted them to stop my subscription, which I did ask them to do (mainly due to the title coming out thrice a month and I was like nuh uh - NO title is worth shelling out $3.50 thrice a month these days). How right I was.

Excuse me, I need to take a shower.

copacetic Mar 2nd, 2008 02:15 AM

Oh also, Captain America's new duds might be influenced by another superhero Alex Ross recently drew for DC:



Ring any bells?

Jaimas Mar 2nd, 2008 02:05 PM

Holy christ, that is scary.

Goddamn, don't look directly at it. You'll burn out your retinas.

Negative Zero Mar 3rd, 2008 11:40 AM

In the pic with the ugly Maggia woman, I swear the vehicles in the background look like Transformers. I guess not even Optimus Prime could save that comic.

Magic Flyin' Lemur Mar 3rd, 2008 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by copacetic (Post 535625)
Oh also, Captain America's new duds might be influenced by another superhero Alex Ross recently drew for DC:

[Img]MY EYES[/img]

Ring any bells?



Um... ok, so Alex Ross has a tinfoil fetish then.

Kirbykid Mar 3rd, 2008 07:56 PM

The only way I could like this new "Secret Invasion" thing is if it turns out Quesada is a Skrull and all this shit never happpened...

captain516 Mar 4th, 2008 01:51 AM

guys..the WHOLE POINT of One More Day/Brand new day is to let writers write the spider-man stories they've been wanting to write since they've been kids. web shooters, peters a loser, whatever, this is all because everyone in charge at marvel (not just quesada EVERYONE)loves the silver age. Sadly, they're not doing a very good job of it.

copacetic Mar 10th, 2008 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 536076)
guys..the WHOLE POINT of One More Day/Brand new day is to let writers write the spider-man stories they've been wanting to write since they've been kids. web shooters, peters a loser, whatever, this is all because everyone in charge at marvel (not just quesada EVERYONE)loves the silver age. Sadly, they're not doing a very good job of it.

so they'd rather set the character back 30 years and have fans waste their money on a personal indulgence? Not working for me.

captain516 Mar 31st, 2008 12:43 AM

Personal indulgence? you mean you don't like the silver age?

Magic Flyin' Lemur Mar 31st, 2008 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 543624)
Personal indulgence? you mean you don't like the silver age?

It's a personal indulgence because the silver age is over and they're trying to forcefully resurrect it in an unpleasant way because they'd rather relive bygone glory days.

SSmasher Apr 13th, 2008 04:43 PM

I agree: Captain America's new costume looks ripe for epic failure. Ross did a terrible job here; congrats! However, I am also genuinely pissed that they dared to kill of Steve Rogers. HE WAS Captain America. Having this substitute errand boy pose as him is a tremendous offense. He totes around a fucking gun! Hello!? Arghhh! I digress. I love your stuff Proto, keep it coming.

JakeOfAllTrades Aug 12th, 2008 10:34 PM

Expensive DC hardcovers are expensive, but the Starman Omnibus Vol. 1 is one of my favorite hardcovers of late. However I do agree that the ratio of issues per hardcover is sometimes baffling.

By the way, did you ever think you'd see my face again?


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