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-   -   Bottled Waters Guaranteed To Aid You In Your Quest To Become A Douchebag (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69699501)

Riot.EXE Apr 12th, 2008 03:13 AM

ever see the water from the TapOut company? it's supposed to be hardcore because it's in a flask-shaped glass bottle.

Kitsunexus Apr 12th, 2008 05:05 AM

"pope a cube into my mouth"

Catholic Q-Bert yaoi fanfiction.

Copper Apr 12th, 2008 05:09 AM

I'll admit it, I drink bottled water, but only when I'm exercising...and even then, it's the stuff we pick up at Sam's Club that's, like, 10 bucks for 30 bottles. Just easier than using a glass when you're hopping around *chuckles* But yes, I've always disliked the notion of bottled water, and wondered how it could "expire." (Thanks for that, executioneer). The Ta-nat bottle does look neat, though. And I also have to say something about the Penta water...

"- Penta helps houseplants grow."

No shit, Dick Tracy! It's f'ing WATER!

What about Joe Water, or Water Joe...something like that. It was supposed to be *caffinated* water. I had friends that made tea with it. So, caffinated water + caffinated tea = buzzbuzzbuzz.

comhcinc Apr 12th, 2008 12:53 PM

huh left outevian

BeatlesLover Apr 12th, 2008 02:39 PM

Where's Evian on your list? It doesn't even taste good!

paulunga Apr 12th, 2008 04:04 PM

Evian is too run-of-the-mill for this list. I personally like the taste of Volvic and found a cheap in-house brand water that taste exactly the same. But yeah, when I'm at home I just drink tap water and tea.

BeatlesLover Apr 12th, 2008 08:10 PM

Personally, I like Dasani. Oddly enough, our natural tapwater tastes exactly the same. This raises a few questions, mostly about meriting anything over than 25 cents for a drink. Luckily we have an ingenious solution. Fill up used bottles, refrigerate them, viola. I could sell them as "like new!" bottles on eBay.

Scorpio1976 Apr 12th, 2008 11:09 PM

I'm waiting for the days of "Vintage" bottled water!

KillerMcGee Apr 13th, 2008 02:05 AM

flouride is evil.

autodidact Apr 13th, 2008 03:22 AM

Call me a snob, but I prefer heavy water.


look it up

Dungeonbrownies Apr 13th, 2008 05:27 AM

heavy water, all, the isotopes...
but whenever i travel overseas,
i usually drink "Le Vie" water

Mintrude Apr 13th, 2008 07:18 AM

Le Bleu might be one of the funniest things I've seen in my life.

Cpt. Beardless Apr 13th, 2008 08:54 AM

Whoa, some of those bottles are awesome! I'd buy them without the water if it was possible. Also, I need a Fred just so I can go around thirsty girls offering them some "Fred"(it's awesome because I'M Fred).

I'm more of a tap water person, bottled water just has a bad taste or in most cases, it's carbonated.

Terror Dino Apr 13th, 2008 09:24 AM

What i find funny is that Aveta apperently comes from ireland yet isnt in any shop over here that i've been in. Wouldnt it be cheaper to produce for the home market rather then to ship the water over the water to the states? But then again this world is full crazy shit like that. Well that or really its just some guy (named Bob) filling the bottles from the mains laughing like a mainac. Thanking only fools and horses for this excillent idea.

God Damn Bob!

Jaimas Apr 13th, 2008 11:55 PM

I'm amazed you didn't slam-dunk Deer Park. ;)

panther3k Apr 14th, 2008 12:30 AM

Great piece...

i used to date a guy who drank only fiji water. i kind of always thought he was a douchebag and now your article confirmed it. :D

OxBlood Apr 14th, 2008 06:46 AM

Strange Bottles you have over there...I love water, since it is the best liquid there is, but I donīt give too much though about if itīs from some lake in france or from our own springs...itīs just water and water is good.

MissEvie Apr 14th, 2008 05:09 PM

I live in Michigan, my water comes piped in from Lake Erie. At home I drink from the tap. I drink bottled water at work because the building is old and the pipes leave black flecks in the water. We buy the bottled water in bulk and store brand from Sam's club.

And yes I was wondering about the "Taint" water too.

Arrrrr Apr 14th, 2008 07:36 PM

You guys forgot Evian -- which is literally "naive" spelled backwards.

0dd1 Apr 15th, 2008 07:52 AM

My sister drinks tthat Fiji Water. Unfortunately, she always gets nearly killed by the bettas she puts in it :-)

El Sammo Apr 16th, 2008 11:40 PM

Deer Park should be called Deer Piss. That's what it is, ya'know. Deer Piss.

Count Mek Apr 18th, 2008 09:35 AM

Woah, I'm drinking good ol' tap water, and it doesn't have a commmenor name like Fred, pfft. ŽŽ
Great article though XD

simogene Apr 22nd, 2008 07:45 PM

Proud to say I drink whatever's cheepest. (Our tap water isn't what I'd call good.)

But I think I shall start naming my water. Like this bottle I'm drinking here, this is now Larry. mmm... Larry, you're refreshing!

Duct Tape Ninja May 28th, 2008 08:06 PM

I put liquor in Fred and started driving, I got pulled over and exclaimed, "It's just water" Cool thing is, I got away with it.

btraz70 Sep 25th, 2008 01:06 PM

I'm gonna start my own water company. It'll be called "just plain old tap" It's for all those people who like the convenience of water in a bottle but aren't stupid enough to act like their getting anything else anyway.


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