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-   -   My Favorite Movie Assholes (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69700043)

Desert_Screams Jun 25th, 2008 10:30 PM

Holy shit, this will be a great series-- and the reader suggestions have been fantastic.

The first ones that popped to mind-- Toht from RAIDERS and Harry Cooper from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (either version, although the '90 version owns every other, IMHO)-- have been nominated already. I'll suggest Michael Rooker's variation on R.J. Fletcher, in MALLRATS, Alec Baldwin in GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (not just an asshole, but an asshole with dialogue by David Mamet-- "Coffee's for closers!"), and Henry Gibson in THE BLUES BROTHERS. And would there even be a yardstick for movie assholery without John Cazale's work in THE GODFATHER and THE GODFATHER PART II? "It's what Pop wanted!" "It's not what I wanted!" King Asshole.

Drunken_Lemur408 Jun 25th, 2008 11:54 PM

Desert, you reminded me that there are so many assholes in Blues Brothers, from Illinois Nazis to Carrie Fischer, that it could probably come up in future installments of this article.

PolarisSLBM Jun 26th, 2008 12:59 AM

Dude, Clubber Lang. He killed The Penguin.

Autrach Sejanoz Jun 26th, 2008 01:09 AM

Clubber Lang? What about IVAN DRAGO? HE killed Apollo Creed, and who could forget the line, "If he dies, he dies."

caffman Jun 26th, 2008 02:17 AM

Great list! Kudos for UHF and The frighteners. But how can you mention Milton without his best line "You can't hurt me as I'm wearing a STEEL BREASTPLATE!!!!!!!!"

TailsCorra Jun 26th, 2008 02:30 AM

If I may suggest for the next list Richard Vernon (The Breakfast Club) and Bill Lumbergh (Office Space).

R.J. Fletcher and Walter Peck are definately admirable additions to any Asshole list

Copper Jun 26th, 2008 02:34 AM


He's a bizarre, twitchy little guy who pukes when people yell at him, but the authoritative power that has been bestowed upon him by the United States government has enabled him to overcome his shortcomings and act like a high 'n mighty asshole.
I never figured out why Trini Alvarado (Dr. Lucy) didn't scream to get away from him near that bit at the end. It's what I would have done. Ah well. Drama, I suppose.


Originally Posted by Ferrit (Post 563971)
Absolutely - The Tannen Family from the Back to the Future movies - assholes from (at least) 1885 until (at least) 2015 - "Mad Dog" to Griff. Specializing in everything from name calling, bullying, attempted homicide, actual homicide, and, of course, attempted rape.

Seconded! The same with the 80's Starscream comments. He's such a conniving little worm, isn't he? I always use him as an example for Neutral Evil when I'm trying to explain it to non/new gamers.

Ones I'd like to nominate are Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and Johner (Ron Perlman) from "Alien Resurrection." If I have to explain Rooney, you've obviously been living under a rock. Johner, though, I just remember thinking what an asshole he was all through the movie, given his attitude and how he treated the rest of the crew.

Come to think of it, I might also say Riddick, from "Pitch Black." Yeah, he's the "hero" of the story, but face it, he's still an asshole *laughs*

Qyzex Jun 26th, 2008 03:39 AM

Great article.

I'd have to go ahead and suggest Francis Buxton from Pee-wee's Big Adventure.

Captain PirateFace Jun 26th, 2008 04:00 AM

I second Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off".
Such a prick.

But in his own whiny ass way so was Cameron.

executioneer Jun 26th, 2008 05:20 AM

my favorite movie, assholes

Purple Man Jun 26th, 2008 05:48 AM

I would include that asshole Telly from "Kids".

Great idea for a series, look forward to the next.

Styled Executioner Jun 26th, 2008 07:14 AM

Pretty good thus far. But the fact that you mentioned Viking Lofgren and failed to mention that he played another awesome asshole is criminal. I'm talking about Victor Kruger from Highlander of course. A quintessential asshole character who has been an asshole since the middle ages.

I'd also like to nominate Luther from The Warriors. He was an asshole to everyone throughout the entire film and was creepy and unpleasant to go with it the majority of the time.

NightProwler Jun 26th, 2008 09:05 AM

Great list. Looking forward to the next. One of my favorite assholes has got to be "Dr. Hill" from "Re-Animator". He's the one and only decapitated zombie asshole. If you are going to include cartoon assholes, might a suggest the biggest cartoon asshole of all time "Bugs Bunny". That smug bastard! Why couldn't they just let Fudd blow a soup-can sized hole through his head, just once?

g_tonttu Jun 26th, 2008 10:11 AM

Great list Rog...and great additions.

Yet one of (in my opinnion) the biggest assholes has not been mentioned;
Gunnery Sergant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket.
Man that guy was an epipeth of asshole-ism.
Who can forget lines like:

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"


Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

Healy for President Jun 26th, 2008 11:07 AM

I'd like to nominate that guy who punches Bruce Willis twice after giving him a cigarette in The Last Boy Scout, and Johnny The Boy from Mad Max. Such a weasly sycophantic little prick.

Jes22 Jun 26th, 2008 12:12 PM

How about Teddy Beckersted and his father from One Crazy Summer or Eddie Arkadian and Sho'nuff from The Last Dragon?

hisholiness Jun 26th, 2008 12:20 PM

I'd like to nominate Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg from The Fifth Element. Gary Oldman was awesome as Zorg. His assholeness, of course, can be seen during the speech he gives to Father Cornelius when they first meet.

McFly Jun 26th, 2008 01:27 PM

I think that we might be missing one of the most prolific assholes: Darth Vader. Not the petty, whiny version in the prequels; but the heartless one in New Hope and Empire. Jedi he started to show a little emotion towards his son, which was his ultimate downfall.

s0n1c m0nk3y Jun 26th, 2008 01:51 PM

I originally thought this was going to be pornographic in some way.

Aura Fox Jun 26th, 2008 02:27 PM

You forgot leif garret's role in the outsiders, nothing screams asshole like those curls.

Mockery Jun 26th, 2008 04:05 PM


Originally Posted by Styled Executioner (Post 564112)
Pretty good thus far. But the fact that you mentioned Viking Lofgren and failed to mention that he played another awesome asshole is criminal. I'm talking about Victor Kruger from Highlander of course. A quintessential asshole character who has been an asshole since the middle ages.

Yeah, and he was also the main asshole prison guard in The Shawshank Redemption and the asshole evil preacher in Carnivale... Clancy clearly knows how to play bad guys well. Viking just happens to be one of my favorites of his, because as big of an asshole as he is, he gets his ass handed to him throughout the film. Definitely can't say that about Victor Kruger heheh...

And thanks to all of you for posting so many good suggestions... keep 'em coming! You're definitely giving me plenty to work with here! :picklehat

Healy for President Jun 26th, 2008 06:50 PM

Scorpio from Dirty Harry.

PolarisSLBM Jun 26th, 2008 07:49 PM

Well, yeah, but Ivan Drago was a huge guy who hit people really hard. Apollo Creed was a boxer, and he killed him in the ring boxing the hell out of him. Burgess Meredith got killed because he got in Mr. T's way. Oh, and Mr. T held a press conference to say he was going to rape Talia Shire. I mean, dude.

Art Vandelay Jun 26th, 2008 11:31 PM

I hereby nominate Nash, portrayed by Jim Varney, from Ernest Goes to Jail. He has Ernest locked up, he stole his girlfriend and his house, alienated his friends, and threw his dog Rimshot in the trash.

Wolfish Jun 26th, 2008 11:42 PM

I have to nominate Chet Donnelly(Bill Paxton) from Weird Science. He spends the whole movie tormenting Gary and Wyatt and then gets himself turned into a huge pile of shit. That's pretty hardcore assholism. I really can't argue with the list and the other suggestions. There are some true assholes there.

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