Jeanette's Medical Adventures Part III - "But I poop from there!"
 

Well, as you know, my Compazine stopped working. I called the doctor and he changed my meds to a new one. I felt pretty good today, so I went to work at the drugstore and informed my manager of the change and how it would hopefully improve my job performance. I picked it up from the pharmacy on my break.

I went to the back room, and opened the package, expecting to swallow yet another pill...only to discover that this medicine is not to be taken orally. No, this medicine is to be inserted into the end that has no teeth.

I informed my manager that I would not be taking my new medication right now as I was feeling fine at the moment and that he really did not need to know more. He seemed to take the hint.

I took my new meds home, and unwrapped the foil. The thin waxy bullet came apart in my hands. I took out another, and the same thing happened. I sighed, and promptly rammed all the bits up as far up my ass as they would go.

I am feeling okay, save for a peculiar burning sensation. All in all, suppositories aren't as unpleasant as they sound. It isn't fun, but I guess I can live with it.

The next time someone tells me to shove it up my ass, I will inform them that I've done that and its not that terrible. :moon

I am feeling better now and I thank you all for your support. Hopefully my gall bladder scan will be even more entertaining for everyone. Stay tuned for another fun and exciting update.

It's all about relaxing. You'd be surprised what you can get up there. :orgasm

Suppositories are nasty feeling. But so is my ass, so I guess it all works out.

Well...
Suppositories aren't so easy after all. The instructions told me not to have a bowel movement for at least an hour after I insert it to allow to absorb, so I spent the past hour holding my spinchter closed, despite the unpleasant sensation of needing to shit, badly. When I finally did sit on the toilet, nothing came out. I still have the feeling of needing to shit, but now it isn't so strong.

My anus felt waxy though. :x

you better be hot to be talkin abotu your butthole so much

In this day and age surely there is a better way of taking medicine than shoving it up your arse. It just seems inconvenient.

That went through my head too. There must be a better way. Hell, even cramming it into my vagina would be less uncomfortable. :x
My Dad told me to put the suppositories in the fridge so they will remain solid and won't melt and fall apart. Hopefully it will be easier to insert them this time.

man jeanette has some shitty problems

Nutrients and stuff gets lost on their way down to your intestine, which is really just a tube with lots of surface area for absorbing the good stuff. More medicine is absorbed into the bloodstream that way. It wouldn't really work with food because it has to be digested. The intestine can't pull any water out of it. That's also why suppositories are sometimes gel-like and waxy, as you said.

No teeth? You must not have ever had teh bumsex w/ -RoG-.

I have urethra dentata.

Just sayin'.

Does it work like some sort of reverse garbage disposal? Grinds up the matter on that way out?

Not really. It works like a standard urethra, but it has teeth. No big deal except for when I had to get a retainer for it.

jeanette you're SO fucked up :x

i hope you get better :(

:o I didn't even know suppositories were still around (ignorance I suppose). That's a shame. Hope you get well though.

Thanks guys. I'm going to see the doctor again tommorow morning, and hopefully he'll do my gall bladder scan, or at least schedule it, and then I'll have another wonderfully entertaining story for everyone.

Part 4 better have more poop in it or I'm canceling my subscription.

this is all kinds of wrong :( the whole purpose of your large intestine is to reabsorb water and your stomach doesn't absorb anything directly except alcohol, aspirin, caffeine and some ions. zee small intestines is where the majority of digestion and absorption takes place.

Suppositories have done nothing but good things for me so I can't complain about 'em too much.
I hope you feel better soon though.

The I-Mockery forums make my day.

The I-Mockery forums ARE my day. :unemployment :Publover

Thank you. And now, for an update:

I just saw the doctor today, and apparently there IS a tablet form of this medication. I explained to him that ramming wax bullets up my ass is, to put it lightly, somewhat unpleasant, and he changed it to the oral medication, and scheduled me for the gall bladder scan.

Why he didn't simply give me the oral tablets to begin with is mystery beyond my comprehension. >:

You'll probably notice that the tablet form doesn't work as well or as quickly for the reasons already stated above.

Your symptoms kinda sound similar to something my dad had a few years ago. Once he had his gall bladder removed he got better, so maybe that's what you'll need to have done. It was a fast operation and he was only in the hospital for a few hours :eek

ass bullets probably work faster/better

It's not that I'm wrong, it's that I thought I was right. ;)

You'd know better anyway, Ms. Nurse. I just had a little zoology class, heh heh heh.

Doc: "So you've been taking these suppositories every day?"
Patient: "Yep."
Doc: "And you've seen no improvement?"
Patient: "Nope. For all the good they've done, I may as well have shoved 'em up my ass!"

Fuck you. I think it's funny.

Hope you get better, Jeanette.

Thanks.