4sure

we used to had contests at work but the boss told my dad and it was the end of it :(

I work in a box truck by myself for 10 hours a day, so the only person who notices it is me, unless I am with a customer. I try not to fart on/in front of customers though. That's just good customer service ;)

Your dad told you to stop farting at work?

my dad, sadly, encourages me. I hope i don't end up scarred or something thanks to him...

I work from home...usually in my underwear. I don't fart much though.
My grandfather once told me that once you reach a certain age, you should never trust a fart.

In English class, Johnny was sitting in his desk with an confused look on his face and his arm raised.

"Teacher, do farts have lumps?" He asked. The teacher replies, "No."

"Well then," says Johnny, "I definately just shat myself."

Once I had a girl sitting on my back giving me a massage and she let one go that sounded like she was ripping apart wet carpet for a good 15 seconds. When she was done she screamed "OH MY GOD" and in her terror she let another one go. It was worse.

Was she Brazilian?

No, I may have tolerated it then.

Was she butt naked and farting directly on your oily back? :wank

No, I got to feel it get stuck in my t shirt like a hot moist breath and seep onto my lower back.

One time I was naked with my girl in bed and I turned around and put my but against hers and farted (I called them butt kisses). She puked this time because my fart went up her asshole. I never did that again.

TOTALLY GRODY BRO

maybe you should do that with your ex, she might throw up the baby

uncalled for / AWESOME