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-   -   Tales From the Longbox 29: "The Dead Travel The Cosmos... In Spandex!" (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69700774)

MockBot Oct 8th, 2008 03:55 AM

Tales From the Longbox 29: "The Dead Travel The Cosmos... In Spandex!"
Automatically generated comment thread for Tales From the Longbox 29: "The Dead Travel The Cosmos... In Spandex!".

Godzilla Oct 8th, 2008 04:21 AM

Why does when somebody becomes a zombie, their lips suddenly disappear? Do they decompose at a rapid rate compared to the rest of the body? Do zombies even decompose in the first place? And why do their eyes start to glow? I don't believe there is any source of light behind the eyeball...

So many questions...

Purple Man Oct 8th, 2008 05:56 AM

I can't stand this zombies thing; it seems like a redundant idea that ran out of steam right away. The threat that it might have spilled over into the Ultimateverse is a worry; it's the only thing which could make that title crappier.

I was kinda hoping you'd be getting stuck into Marvel Apes, Mr Protoclown; it sounds horrific.

FYI, the right to wear purple is definitely worth fighting over.

Drunken_Lemur408 Oct 8th, 2008 06:55 AM

Ya know, I think they keep this series around for the covers. Just look at them, they're wonderful.

Julio Oct 8th, 2008 07:16 AM

The scream to the ceiling... Cheesy...

WillyC Oct 8th, 2008 09:04 AM

I haven't read these, but based on the few snippets shown, I think that "Aunt May" is supposed to be Amelia Voght. But you're right; it's way funnier if it's Aunt May.

Icculus Oct 8th, 2008 10:50 AM

After the last review I was almost persuaded into buying these. Instead I put them down and and grabbed something else...Thanks for reassuring that I made the right choice.

McFly Oct 8th, 2008 11:35 AM

Wonder how many of those robotic woman bodies they have lying around… Kind of makes you wonder what they do with their free time... or on second thought, it may be best left alone.

Angryhydralisk Oct 8th, 2008 01:17 PM

It still kills me that the zombies just stop being hungry. Kinda defeats the whole concept of zombies if you ask me.

captain516 Oct 8th, 2008 07:47 PM

Talk about beating a dead horse! geddit? Also, patiently awaiting the next All-Star Batman Article.

Protoclown Oct 8th, 2008 10:06 PM

Next All-Star Batman article is coming, after all the Halloween stuff is done!

Thanos Oct 8th, 2008 10:39 PM

I love the Marvel Zombies series, but the opening to part II did piss me off slightly. Come on... Hulk isn't even in Thanos' league. Sure, Hulk is strong... but Thanos is the consort of death itself. A true blast from Hulk would only bruise Thanos, if that.

Oh well, the story was still interesting. :-D

Lothalis Oct 9th, 2008 05:18 AM

Awesome article, although I do feel it still at that time had alittle steam, it is true that with a possable 3 out soon the engine will come to a grinding stop.

What looks bad however is Marvel Apes (Uhh), And i Like Monkeys!

Cant wait for the God-Damn Batman...

Nick Oct 9th, 2008 06:03 AM

I still giggle at the zombie make out scene.

resident-adam Oct 9th, 2008 07:36 AM

Pfft. Those zombies are no match for a Stormtrooper and his E-11 blaster! Pew-Pew them all!

executioneer Oct 9th, 2008 09:13 AM


SunnyD Oct 9th, 2008 10:17 AM

Dear Godzilla:

What happens is, when they first get bitten, they start vomiting and whatnot, and all the zombie stomach acid they have now burns off their lips.

yes, this is the actual explanation from the first volume.

on an unrelated note, i just really really like these covers. they're just so damn great.

Beardy Goodness Oct 9th, 2008 06:06 PM

What happened to Thor and the rest of the Asgardians? Because I'd like to see zombie Volstagg. And on a side note, what about the merc with a mouth?

fluffkomix Oct 10th, 2008 12:15 AM

hey have you guys seen that one new marvel spiderman (i say new, because it was the last one i have seen. think august), where they had a bunch of different parallel universe type stories? like for example: spidermonkeyman. basically the exact same storyline as the original spiderman, but with monkeys! brilliant right? right? no.

Cruxader Oct 10th, 2008 12:37 AM

I'm sorry, but I simply loathe the Marvel Zombies... maybe that's what the authors had intended though...

Jaimas Oct 10th, 2008 01:42 AM

There needs to be a Goddamned Zombie Batman.

HowardC Oct 10th, 2008 02:07 AM

I actually liked this one. It tied up the loose ends nicely (like explaining why in the hell wasp stopped trying to eat people). I think it was more of a setup for the enevitable trilogy. Everybody knows part II always sucks compared to part I and III.

Answering a few of the questions (both in the article and in the posts):

The eyes don't glow, it's just the eye looses it's pigment. Standard zombie deal there.

It took the galactic zombies much longer to calm down because they had eaten so much. The more you eat, the hungrier you get. Again, standard zombie deal.

Hulk now has the power cosmic... thanos does not.

Afaik thor didn't make an appearance in the zombie universe.. remember, it's a parallel world, not the "real" marvel world. My guess is the norse gods don't exist in this reality. (And more importantly adding them into the plot would have complicated things dramatically.)

I think these zombies don't rot. The thing is the cells are dead though, so their bodies don't heal. Only possible explaination I can give you.

Now for my questions:

How did the "new" marvel zombies survive to become zombies? A team of guys with the power of Galactus and the surfer can't eat a bunch of third-rate characters? (Phoenix excluded).

Speaking of the power of galactus... Wouldn't consuming the flesh of the most powerful (and immortal) being in the universe give you the ability to oh.. I dunno REGROW YOUR FLESH?!?! Ever seen a scar on galactus even after all those battles? I rest my case.

If the hunger was so great then when did they have the time and enegry to graft on new limbs? Not only that, considering they can now frikkin fly, WHY did they attach new limbs? I mean vanity no longer becomes an issue when you smell like 40 year old meat.

Speaking of vanity. What, no robotic lips?

Also, cage seems to have grafted on an alien arm. Wouldn't he, you know, EAT that instead?

How do the heads talk? No vocal chords ya know.

Just some things to think about.

Drunken_Lemur408 Oct 10th, 2008 04:33 PM

Howard, Thor was in it, at least the first one. And I Think Godzilla was talking about the Cosmic Zombies, so the Eyes glow because of the power cosmic.

Darren Spooner Oct 11th, 2008 09:15 AM

About the whole lip thing; they sure do talk remarkably well without them! Really, try talking without using your lips and see how you sound. I guess its a zombie thing.

captain516 Oct 11th, 2008 06:40 PM

Remember those Twinkie ads they used to print in comic books?

2xSlick Oct 12th, 2008 03:12 AM

I can't help but think that a zombified Matter Eater Lad could actually be frightening.

As for the whole missing-lip thing, I've seen a few zombie films where the dead feasted on human face, resulting in the victims becoming lipless zombies. But that doesn't explain why such an injury designed to make certain background zombies stand out more was given to nearly all the Marvel Zombies.

HowardC Oct 12th, 2008 07:22 PM

Crap, that's right, thor WAS in it. Well maybe in this reality thor is the only norse god left. Or, judging by the first issue of zombies 3, maybe they got sucked into the nexus?

I think the main reason for the lip thing was so the reader could tell who the zombies are, joking and plot problems aside. I mean most of the marvel heroes wear masks, and many of them, like spiderman and iron man even wear masks that cover their face. It could be difficult for a slower reader to determine which ones are infected and which aren't without such an obvious deformity. Although personally, I think zombies that you can't identify right off the bat would have been far more frightening.

executioneer Oct 12th, 2008 07:31 PM

they already have skrulls though

HowardC Oct 12th, 2008 07:54 PM

Eh... the skrulls mess is going to be one of those things we are forced to pretend never happened in the end. I like the zombies series because, for the most part it does NOT interfere with the "real" universe.

Before we beat this article to death, one more point...

I think I've mentioned it before, but the real plot hole that gets me that everyone else seems to overlook is the timeframe. Around 200 superheroes ate the whole earth, full of BILLIONS in a couple of weeks? Try to eat the biggest peace of food you can find... just shovel it in. Took a little while right? Now scale that up to the size of a whole person. Now by a billion. I don't care if some of them are as big as a house or if some of them do have super speed... there's no frikkin way! Plus there's the whole pooping thing. We establish in the first series that the zombies don't really digest their food that much (it eventually dissolves in their stomach acid, but not quickly like real digestion). We establish in army of darkness vs zombies that they do indeed poop (HULK NEEDS TOILET PAPER!!) So shouldn't the entire galaxy, literally, be full of crap? And pooping takes time just like eating.

Then we are to beleive the 8 or so left ate the entire galaxy in just 40 years. Come on! Galactus, who also devours entire worlds (all at once btw, instead of just one person at a time) has been around forever, and yet the galaxy pretty much is still there. So now 8 normal sized people can do it quicker??

Chuggernaught Oct 12th, 2008 10:28 PM

I haven't read any of the zombie comics. The only way I know of them if from the excellent reviews here. My question is does zombie Wolverine ever do anything? In the panels that I've seen he appears to be a bit player at best.

Riot.EXE Oct 18th, 2008 03:50 AM

Howard C: Marvel Zombies 3 is taking place with the zombies invading the 616 universe...sorry about that.

The story actually started in Ultimate Fantastic 4, so the Ultimate invasion is done...

TuxKamen Oct 19th, 2008 07:15 AM

This is for HowardC: The new zombies were formed because, basically, the heroes intentionally infect new beings they come across with super powers. It goes back to Reed Richards believing the virus was the next step in evolution. The same thing happened on the Skrull planet that the regular Earth FF ended up on (Black Panther, Storm, Torch and Thing), where the zombies infected four Skrulls that had the original FF's powers (including the Zombieverse's version of Lyja, Torch's Skrull wife).

It surprised me from the first panel that the zombies, for the most part, aren't wearing their Galactus gear... Hulk's still wearing the Galactus skirt, Wolvie's got a purple glove and Cage has a purple sleeve, but that's all I see. Also, note Spidey's two-toed look on his new leg? As for why they didn't try regrowing their limbs and flesh, maybe it wasn't that much of a priority for them at the time?

I think it's established that after they eat for a while, the Hunger DOES diminish some and the zombies are able to think semi-clearly, which is probably when they were able to come up with the grafting.

And that's all I can think of for your comments.

As for the eyes, it shows other non-cosmic zombies having blank eyes, also, just another identifier along with the lipless look.

Come to think of it, zombie vomit might explain why Spidey's mask ripped so easily in Dead Days.

Rufus the Perturbed Oct 21st, 2008 01:47 AM

Chuggernaught: Zombie Wolverine doesn't really do much in this series (other than get all the skin ripped off one arm). I think Marvel has decided to just throw him into every comic they print, whether he belongs there or not, just like Spider-man.

neoboman Oct 25th, 2008 09:32 AM

Say what you will, Robert Kirkman is still the man. I love Invincible and The Walking Dead (although the latter causes me just as much consternation as joy).

Can't wait for the next All-Star Batman.

Desert_Screams Oct 28th, 2008 02:27 PM

We need a zombie J. Jonah Jameson.


Hellfish Nov 24th, 2008 07:42 AM

HowardC: Galactus eats in moderation, either just enough to ensure he could contain Abraxas, or to to ensure it lasts as long as possible depending on if you want the Abraxas stuff to have happened. Not gorging himself like these guys do.

Hmm, what if this "Hunger" is related to the "Hunger" Galactus was affected by some time ago... No, you're right, let's never speak of that again.

Muscle_Bomber_Uno Nov 29th, 2008 11:15 AM

What the hell did Wolverine do all issue? I mean, if he's still alive, you'd expect him to, you know, do something, right?

Zbu Manowar Nov 30th, 2008 07:10 PM

I adore the Marvel Zombies. Yes, it's absurd and insane and I'm not exactly sure how they could take down the Silver Surfer and the power cosmic, but I don't take it as seriously as I should. Part of the appeal is seeing how far the premise can be stretched, and how bad it could get.

And the covers are AWESOME. But at this point, I'm thinking they should throw DC a line for a Marvel Zombies vs. DC Zombies. That's the only way it could get better. Zombify the DC Universe and this could get so awesome so quickly.

DarkfireTaimatsu Jan 28th, 2010 02:05 AM

'S been at least a year already... So where's our review of part 3? And 4? And Returns? And I hear they're making a 5... So Marvel Zombies has the sequel power of any other modern horror franchise, at least.

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