I am so sad i came back to i-mockery
 

i am stuck in a shitty town cause i can't make enough money to get out. i have tons of bills that i struggle to pay. My dad died 3 weeks ago. He was 50 years old and had struggled with his health his whole life. the day he died we went to the house of a friend of his to winterize it. we ate lunch at a old style grocery store with a deli in it. 4 hours later he was dead. and two days ago my girlfriend told me over the phone that we need to take a hiatus because she found a boy that is interested in her. He is a tiny hipster who i have never met. we have been together for 5 years and she just tossed me away. she has been drinking everyday for 3 weeks and i was talking to her when she hadn't had a drink for 24 hours and she was all grumpy and jittery. I love her more than anyone i have ever known, and she says the same about me. she said she told this boy that i came first always, and somehow that makes it worse. Please make me feel better.

sorry about the terrible grammar i have been massively self medicating and i can't really see straight

I missed you! :(

I'm sorry about all that crap. :(

jeeeeez sorry man :(

but hey! i remember your avatar, i think. you might get even sadder because this place is infected with Newbz.Trojan ;_;

Jesus. Have you told your girlfriend about your Dad's death and how you feel?

This song makes me feel better when I'm depressed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSJRDpo9ucA

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

i still love you

i don't know who you are :(

when my mom died my then girlfriend showed how big of a cunt she was.

i'm sorry, dude. i don't know you, but it's still lame to hear about people going through hard times. best of luck to you.

:(:(:(

Are these the lyrics to a country music song?

:/ now I'm rereading it and all I can think of is some guy singing it all in a southern drawl

Can we ban black Bob Saget here already?

http://www.bobsagetisgod.com/

You suck drunk girl.

I would really appreciate it if pac-man and DevilWearsPrada stopped coming to this thread, i am already sad and i don't need to deal with stupidity.

Welcome back buddy.
Sorry things have been so crappy.
With DWP hanging out, things ain't exactly been a picnic here either.
:(
We can all be sad together.

:x

dilbert is actually quite appropriate coming from you. that is, if you couldn't decipher it, that you are unoriginal, unfunny, boring, and generally disliked. go away.

Seems like I got a lot more going for me than you do. :lol

EDIT: "Dilbert has been syndicated since 1989 and now appears in 2,000 newspapers in 65 countries and 25 languages." That is, if you couldn't decipher it, more people like, care about, and are generally aware of Dilbert and I than will ever give a rat's ass about your pathetic ass.

popularity is no measure of quality. Millions of people buy pre-fab pop albums every year. Titanic is one of the highest grossing movies of all time. Michael Crichton is one the most read authors ever, popularity is the ear mark of mediocrity. You may think that you have a lot going, but don't count on that, that shit is temporary and will crumble eventually. Disavow yourself of all you illusions, your life is just a disaster waiting to happen.

Nah, you just suck at life. Go hang yourself.

You didn't like Titanic? :O

Titanic was for fags.

Michael Crichton writes some pretty cool stories.

maybe conceptually, his writing however is painful to read.



and pac-man, you lost sir. no one of consequence her enjoys your idiotic babbling. you are making no one happy, you have bad tastes and your lack of originality reflects that. you can keep spouting you idiocies but from now on out i am going to pretend that you don't exist, except for
occasionally pointing out how stupid you are.

edit: btw i just found out today that i am getting about 3300 dollars in inheritance from my recently dead aunt. which means i will be able to leave this town and go back to school, so things are looking up.

Fuck you, Pac-man. Seriously. Fuck. You. Go onto /b/ or something if you're going to be this mean to vunerable people.

I'm glad things are finally looking up for you, McLargehuge.

don't justify his stupidity by responding like that. I am vulnerable true, but some 14 year old screaming on the Internet is very unlikely to be the thing that pushes me over the edge.

Yeah Pac-man. How can you be so mean to people.

******

Give me a fucking break. You don't have the right to say who its fair to be mean to and who it isn't. Shame on patrons of I-Mockery coddling this wimp. If he's got real problems he should find a support group.

And Little McMiniDick, my stupidity is justified because for you to bring your fucking sob story to a humor website is an open invitation to be mocked. Go get counseling, you pussy.

i don't mind being mocked, as long as it is by a competent mocker. I was going to point out how lame you are but all i needed to do is quote you.

And you're so clever. Piss off, loser.

yup

Look, you asshole, I'm friends with a lot of mockers on here and I've both given and recieved moral support in times of crisis. Fuck you if you can't understand that.

I wouldn't mind your mocking so much if you were at least clever or funny in your meaness, but you're too fucking stupid for it. Fuck you.

How cute. My friends exist in this little place I like to call the real world. I know cleverness to you is bitching about what disease your nasty ass is currently fending off. Sorry, but I'm healthy/clean, so I can't relate to that either. But, hey, three cheers for moral support!

Things will get better, Big McLargeHuge! Just weather the storm, buddy. Without the bad times the good times wouldn't be as good, right?

Pac-man is at that special time in his life when he's realising that from behind his computer monitor he can say pretty much whatever he wants without consequence.

With any luck he'll reach the next stage in his e-development in which he realises that no one gives a fuck before we have to endure too much of this crap.

Look at it this way, your ex has shown you what kind of a person she really is. Would you really want to be with someone who would dump you just because there's someone new on the block? It really hurts now but it might be for the better in the long run. There's not much to say about the loss of your father other than I am really sorry. I've never experienced a loss like that so I can't really give any advice but hang in there. :)

Oh, and hi, I'm one of the aforementioned Newbz.

I'm glad that the forum vets are keeping a united front, but really, MM, if you don't give a fuck, why comment?

Seriously, Big, I don't have anything against you. I made a joke about your spiel sounding like a country music song, that's it. You wanna call me stupid, well hey, I'm time enough for you. However, I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances, and it's evident the folks who live their lives here are glad to have you back. Truce.

Sounds like you and your dad had a pretty good day together, and it also sounds like your alcoholic girlfriend went ahead and made it really easy for you to step away from the situation and forget her stupid ass. Ain't all bad.

the problem is that "joke" about it sounding like a country music song is a lame joke. seriously, it has been done to death.

edit: me and my ex-lady have come to an agreement, she is going to get me laid and we are going to be bffs, that's ok with me. she is a prude when it comes to sex and i was getting tired of having boring sex any way. really, our relationship isn't going to change i just wont have to endure the bad sex.

shutup blackie hahahahahha

Tsh, now's your chance to try and break HER self esteem. Get your hottest friend you know and whatever, dude.

and since we will be best buds i get to talk to her about all the great sex i am having.

or not having

yeah :(

so ending things is the best thing that could have happened, really.

Cause boring sex sucks :(

Rape.

Nape

RAPE

GOD I NEED TO GET LAID

any pretty girls looking for an potentially handsome ex-giant boy that is not shy about cunnilingus and will write you poems?

Right here, dude!

HAY SEXY

I cant get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perahaps its just my imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least theres pretty lights
And though theres little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

I cant get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Its just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

The faster were falling,
Were stopping and stalling.
Were running in circles again
Just as things were looking up
You said it wasnt good enough.
But still were trying one more time.

Maybe were just trying to hard.
When really its closer than it is too far

Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

Seems like each time
Im with you I loose my mind,
Because Im bending over backwards to relate.
Its one thing to complain
But when youre driving me insane
Well then I think its time that we took a break.

Maybe were just trying to hard.
When really its closer than it is too far

Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

I cant sit back and wonder why.
It took so long for this to die.
And I hate it when you fake it.
You cant hide it you might as well embrace it.
So believe me its not easy.
It seems that somethings telling me,

Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause Im in too deep, and Im trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

Instead of going under again.
Instead of going under.
Instead of going under again.
Instead of going under again.


:rock

wtf is that Sum 41 :(

milhouse's avatar reminds me of a girl i knew in high school that everyone thought was soo hot. now she is a huge heroin addict and has dissapeared

Damn CHUDs.

Yeah man punk rock :rock

Coming to I-Mockery forums for sympathy is masochism.

maybe i am a masochist. In which case the best form of sympathy would idiots being rude to me :eek. Or maybe i just came here cause i can tell strangers about my problems, have a few people who like me tell me how it's gonna be all right and mock all the unoriginal fuckers. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO GET SYMPATHY?

I'm not telling how you to do anything.

sorry, i am made irrational by the constant crushing blows to my soul

i dont care about the country song joke but this...

really now.

Totally

Do you live in New England or NY? :love

az, but i h8 animals >:

jk :x

No head for me. :(

you could always shave :hayoh