Do you live in a two story house or whatever?
You could grease the stairs.
It won't train them, but it'd be pretty damn hilarious.
But be sure to tell your girlfriend; in the words of my English teacher, 'BAAAAAAD JUJU!'

Nope, we're in an apartment on the second floor. He's fallen down those stairs before, too. He was super excited and started running down and missed a step and just kind of flew. Landed on the ground and kind of slid for a little bit. I was worried, but then he got up and started running some more and it was hilarious.

you could also try puttin that fucker on his back with your hand on his throat and making eye contact the whole time to let him know who is the boss

Do you think you can keep a straight face while making eye contact with this?

Yeah

I couldn't if I were high.

Right on.

I got a wolf/greyhound and he was a stubborn fuckin puppy. Wolf mixes (and and huskies and malamutes) really don't care about pleasing you. So I used to lay him on his back (submissive position oh no) for a while every day, and I treat him like a wolf, growling and bearing teeth when he begs etc. He's awesome now.

Those little dogs can be untrainable. They think they're hot shit and even a swift kick in the gut can't fix it. But it is fun when no one's looking