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-   -   3D Realms: A Post Mortem (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69702332)

MockBot May 28th, 2009 05:35 AM

3D Realms: A Post Mortem
 
Automatically generated comment thread for 3D Realms: A Post Mortem.

OxBlood May 28th, 2009 05:44 AM

I have a very simple formula: There are two reasons why the development of a Video-/Computergame can take more than five years:

a) You´re Blizzard Entertainment

b) You´re just slow and your game will have a 75% Chance to suck quite a bit.

or in this case, there´s a special C:

c) You´re a bunch of lazy liars that couldn´t get a mediocre game done, even if your job depended on it. Fits 3d Realms post-Duke3d rather well I think ;)


I sometimes wonder, what the hell they were doing all the time (Drinking in Mexico, smoking Crack in Atlantis, every 3 months, someone has to write a half-assed excuse why they don´t have anything to show...again) and why the publishers couldn´t see through such an obvious charade...ah well.

Doctor_Who May 28th, 2009 05:49 AM

Ah, DNF. So fun to tease my gamer friends about. In some ways I think they actually prefer this to the damn thing getting released.

After 12 years, each copy of the game could come with a free clone of the centerfold of your choice and it still wouldn't live up to the hype. At least now, the Nukem fans can pretend that it really would have been the shining beacon of perfection they always dreamed about.

BurnPianoBurn May 28th, 2009 09:50 AM

I myself also waited for this game Dr. boogie. I had faith that 3d Realms could do it, but what it all comes down to is that Duke Nukem Forever is mythical like the Sasquatch, and the McRib Sandwich at McDonalds.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 28th, 2009 10:29 AM

I'm sure someone could have even made a half decent DNF knockoff from a half life mod by now.

.....Someone go do that.

RevengeVirus May 28th, 2009 11:11 AM

We all know the best Build engine FPS was Blood, and Monolith needs to get off their asses and make a Blood 3 instead of fucking up the FEAR franchise.

Aries May 28th, 2009 11:22 AM

By not being released, DNF has achieved legendary status like the Beach Boys' "Smile" or Prince's "Black Album."

Angryhydralisk May 28th, 2009 11:31 AM

Stange article. But it is amusing to see how this game played itself through. Sadly, Starcraft: Ghost's tepid story isn't nearly aas amusing as this.

RIP Duke Nukem. Shame you couldn't take Lara Croft with you. Gamepro had a wierd knack of coupling you two together (Hell, are they still around? I know EGM & Tips&Tricks are gone. Or at least a couple videogame mags are gone.)

LordSappington May 28th, 2009 01:05 PM

This made me pretty depressed over all the great games that COULD have been made, but were scrapped at the last minute. Hell, I was freaking out for Ghost and DNF so bad...

wastedsage May 28th, 2009 02:34 PM

I remember playing a 2D side scroller version of Duke back in the day before the game resembled doom.

I'm going to miss you Duke. ( Dies inside) :(

Joe Musashi May 28th, 2009 11:36 PM

I loved them better when they used to be Apogee. Man, they had awesome games back then... I'm going to miss those guys.

Duke Nukem 3D was a title of 3D Realms' that I was proud to own when I first got it in 1996. I've still got it intact in it's entirety, manual, jewel case and all, for the past 13 years! Had a lot of good times playing it, too. Plus, it came with the full versions of the first Duke Nukem and Duke Nukem II, which made it even more worthwhile.

Julio May 28th, 2009 11:39 PM

Videogames in the 90's were just awesome. I remember having CD's full of demos and wanting to have the original version of everyone I liked. Playing the demos was enough to keep me entertained for a good while. The shareware edition of Doom is the prime example.

Nice article, doc. Keep up the research.

Julio May 28th, 2009 11:41 PM

By the way, I have to agree with OxBlood and Angryhydralisk about games from Blizzard Entertainment that are delayed for plenty of time without notice. Starcraft II is taking too damn long and it is evident that Starcraft Ghost is a dead topic.

Dr. Boogie May 29th, 2009 02:08 AM

The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.

rizzo May 29th, 2009 12:01 PM

Not to point anyone to someone else's site, but Yahtzee's "review" of DNF is goddamn hilarious.

Doctor_Who May 29th, 2009 01:27 PM

Yeah, I watched that. It's got to be his best one yet.

Dr. Boogie May 29th, 2009 02:55 PM

It really is spectacular. I don't think there's any other way to handle this tragedy than with irony.

Nick May 29th, 2009 04:19 PM

I liked watching that video of the unreleased game. It looked fun. :(

Kat May 29th, 2009 04:51 PM

Give me god mode, and RPG, and five minutes.

Mockery May 29th, 2009 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie (Post 630242)
The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.

Having played both games, I can say that they are definitely going to rule - particularly Diablo 3. That is honestly the nicest looking, smoothest game I've ever had the change to play and I look forward to it taking over my life.

Starcraft 2 is gonna be a blast as well, though I wish they weren't splitting it up into those 3 separate releases. They can say it was for whatever reason they want, but to us gamers, it just looks like money-grubbing.

Julio May 29th, 2009 09:21 PM

What I would like to know is how the hell has Deckard Cain managed to stay alive during all the saga. How come that a guy that already looked old enough in the first Diablo still has his wrinkly old ass 20 years after the events in Diablo II?

Chuggernaught May 29th, 2009 09:24 PM

I think it would be spectacular if they announced the release and made a huge show of it. It would start with one really good level that turns into a rick roll. Every copy. A rick roll. It would be the ultimate fu to the fans. Then we could all move on.

Earthbound_X May 30th, 2009 02:27 AM

Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?

Pentegarn May 31st, 2009 03:39 PM

Chinese Democracy thinks Duke Nukem Forever was going too sluggishly :P

Dr. Boogie May 31st, 2009 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earthbound_X (Post 630456)
Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?

I'm planning on getting back into rom hacks sooner or later. These days, I'm dividing my time between writing for the site and sending out resumés, so it's been slow going to say the least.

Tadao May 31st, 2009 07:20 PM

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Jigby Huggletinks Jun 1st, 2009 10:48 AM

I second the Rick Roll idea.

It's true that DNF had a longer development cycle than Chinese Democracy, although I'm not sure which one went through more staff.

Jigby Huggletinks Jun 1st, 2009 10:49 AM

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, "development cycle" implies that it came all the way around.

Purple Man Jun 1st, 2009 09:08 PM

Damn, now I'll never get to see digital strippers rendered at a level previously unknown to man.

Dr. Boogie Jun 1st, 2009 09:24 PM

At least not in an "M" level title.

Jaimas Jun 2nd, 2009 04:46 PM

What's the biggest bit of humor is how few of these were edited by Boogie. Normally his mock-tastic articles show a bit of digression for comedic impact, but this time, to say anything really would only have detracted from the hilarity.

Primortal Jun 2nd, 2009 11:00 PM

Well this is what happens when you buckle under the pressure of your own hype, wanting to remain "cutting edge and relevant", and not wanting to swallow whatever pride you have and admit to making a mistake.

If it happens after, say, a year or so... people will forgive your dumb ass for such missteps... but not doing so after... 12 freaking years... just makes you look legendarily ridiculously stupid.

3D Realms shoulda released the damn thing instead of keep trying to outdo the then current FPS competition.

Rufus the Perturbed Jun 14th, 2009 05:16 PM

I can't say I was a big Duke Nukem fan (please don't kill me everybody), but this was still a pretty funny article. Just a couple notes.

Dr.Boogie - Kudoes on the Lewis Black reference. DNF definitely qualifies as "persistent vegitative state."

ROG - Do you honestly think Diablo 3 will be worth the wait? I sure hope it is, because if it isn't, I will seriously be going on a mass killing spree the day it gets released.

Blaster Atoms Jun 19th, 2009 02:10 AM

You know what would be nice? What if Bethesda bought the Duke Nukem liscence and actually put out the game, like the Fallout sequel?

Ranana_Pems Jul 1st, 2009 05:43 PM

3D Realms A Post Mortem
 
I know this is for the new kids and new members but Hi its been a long time since I seen everyone. Yes Im one of the old timers but havent talked or seen anyone in like years. I think Ill welcome myself back to the realms.

danixdefcon5 Apr 5th, 2010 11:02 AM

Whoa. My PC broke down last year, so I missed this one.

Really ... I'm not surprised 3D Realms and the DNF team went under, what did surprise me is:

1 - it took so long
2 - they were still "trying" to do it
3 - Huh? They're still developing it? I thought they had abandoned it by now!

BTW, Prey may have been cancelled in 1998, but it was one of the original reasons DNF got bumped. 3D Realms didn't want to show off its Prey engine until Prey was released, so they switched DNF to the Quake2 engine... which is another ironic event, as Duke3D took potshots at that series with the "Ain't afraid of no Quake" easter egg. Little did we know that Prey would die, and that the Q2 engine switch was the first of many switches they would do. I lost interest sometime after they switched to the Unreal one.

StarscreamTheWaffle Jun 18th, 2010 07:04 AM

Blaster Atoms, I fully agree with you. Bethesda is one of the greatest publishers at getting games out and making them good. The only problem, Bethesda specializes in Action RPGs, so it would be like DN3D and Mass Effect, Fallout 3, or New Vegas combined. I don't know how that would work for Duke fans. And it might not be released in stores, or at least will give a bonus to those who preorder it on the Steam platform, and I'm sure that there are some people who won't feel safe with their ownership of a game tied to one account on a web service, even if Valve is good at keeping down the loss of accounts. Hell, they even say in chat what not to do. Such as, Don't give away your account information to anyone.

darkkitten Feb 3rd, 2011 11:16 PM

update:DNF is being released this month!!!


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