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-   -   Protoclown's 2009 Movie Awards (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69704327)

MockBot Mar 10th, 2010 10:10 PM

Protoclown's 2009 Movie Awards
Automatically generated comment thread for Protoclown's 2009 Movie Awards.

Colonel Flagg Mar 10th, 2010 10:39 PM

I actually saw "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel" and I did not gouge my eyes out with my thumbs, although it was a close call. Even so, I agree - any movie with the word "Twilight" in its title is by far and away the clear winner in the "most horrific abomination" category.

Mister Tea Mar 11th, 2010 03:40 AM

Um, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is based on a kid's book, and it's about food that falls from the sky. The movie itself uses the same kind of rapid-fire joke delivery as, well, every other Dreamworks animated flick, and it has Bruce Campbell and Mr. T on the VO cast.

greenimp Mar 11th, 2010 06:47 AM

In new moon's defence. (and dear god I never thought those words would pass my lips.) I would have to say it could easily take out funniest film of all time. Yes this means I saw the abomination, but I can happily report that most of the rest of the cinema enjoyed the running commentary provided by myself and my friends.

greenimp Mar 11th, 2010 06:49 AM

As a side note, the nastiest shock I ever recieved in my life was when I woke up one morning to see the edward cullen cardboard cut-out my friends had bought from the local cinema standing at the end of my bed.

Pentegarn Mar 11th, 2010 09:08 AM

You are right about Up. Although I really liked the movie, and the emotion of the opening sequence plays heavily into why I like it, I have to admit it is heart wrenching.

Dimnos Mar 11th, 2010 11:40 AM

Hans Landa should have won everything JUST FUCKING BECAUSE. :rock

Tetsu Deinonychus Mar 11th, 2010 04:10 PM

Agree with everything, except "best animated film". I thought Coraline was freaking amazing!

Also, my pick for "best movie that nobody saw" is the live action version of Blood: The Last Vampire.

narcolepticsloth Mar 11th, 2010 07:54 PM

I have to agree with greenimp. New Moon was friggin hilarious. especially when you go with a group of friends and riff on it the entire time.
Cant wait for the last film.

Mister Tea Mar 12th, 2010 12:33 AM

Screw that. I can't wait for the Rifftrax for New Moon! The one they did for the first movie was an absolute riot.

Nick Mar 12th, 2010 12:57 AM

Man, I loved the G.I. Joe movie. :(

neoboman Mar 12th, 2010 12:58 AM

Great list as usual. Only bad thing was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Unless you're super young or super old, how have you not heard of that. And Coraline freaking rules.

Also, my pick for "best movie that nobody saw" is the live action version of Blood: The Last Vampire.


Tetsu Deinonychus Mar 12th, 2010 03:23 AM

Well, the origin story for Saya was a little cliché (especially compared to her origin in Blood+), and the fights were a little Matrix-y, (which would be fine except the original anime kept the fights realistic and avoided the usual "anime fight scenes" that inspired matrix-style fights), but other than that, I thought it was pretty good.

It's a decent expansion of the original anime short-film, and translates well to live-action.

It's not as good as the original, and I still think the best version of the character is Blood+, but IMO it was damned entertaining.

And, I never heard of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs before the movie ads, either. I heard something about it being a book, though.

Kilgore Cod Mar 12th, 2010 08:45 PM

Up was truly depressing.

Julio Mar 13th, 2010 06:36 PM

I didn't see any of these movies. Actually, I only went to the cinema once this year. The movie? Defiance.

redryder3 Mar 13th, 2010 09:00 PM

Well, a third Alvin and The Chipmuinks Movie has been announced and it's going to be in 3-D(I think it's the Thursday post on that link).

Also, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was fantastic, and I've never, EVER consider the Rock a talented actor. Ever.

testtube Mar 13th, 2010 09:22 PM

Protoclown is a scab on the ass of an otherwise great website. Middle of the road dullard.

Relaxing Dragon Mar 14th, 2010 04:53 AM

Lotta good stuff in this article. Thank you for the bit on Moon, that was a fantastic movie that needs more love (I don't quite like Dr. Parnassus as much, but it's still good). I was one of the folks who loved Watchmen, but I can understand where you're coming from in regards to it (I wouldn't recommend it to folks who hadn't read the book either). And kudos to loving Fantastic Mr. Fox, that was my favorite animated movie of the year as well.

Also, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is based on an old kids book of the same name, and is quite good. Give it a chance. Ditto Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, for the reason of having an absolutely insane Nicholas Cage in it.

Now then... no mention of District 9? No award for it? For shame.

Protoclown Mar 14th, 2010 12:19 PM

Aw, testtube! You say the sweetest things! :love

And guys, I'm sure Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs might be well worth viewing--it's simply the title that I think is stupid, and that's what I gave it the award for.

As for District 9, it was enjoyable, but I just never thought of an award to give to it.

alittlebirdytoldmeso Mar 14th, 2010 11:37 PM

How about best underrated actor award for Sam Rockwell for both Moon and Gentlemen Broncos.

Oh, and I totally wish Liam Neeson was my daddy.

Mister Tea Mar 16th, 2010 02:22 AM

We're just filling you in since you'd never heard of it, Proto. And for District 9, you can always invent an award for "Best movie with a nine in the title," because there was definitely more than one of those last year.

Oh, and neoboman: Some of us have these things called "younger siblings." They're very much like those small, high-voiced people you often see out and about, except they're related to us. That's how we know what children's books are. They also let us know that LEGO exists.

DougClayton4231 Mar 16th, 2010 03:33 PM

Wow, why the Protoclown hatred?

The Leader Mar 17th, 2010 06:48 PM

Because he thinks the rock is a good actor. An outrage, I say!

kidneyboy Mar 18th, 2010 02:03 AM

Moon was an awesome movie! Good call on that one!

Angryhydralisk Mar 18th, 2010 11:23 AM

More good reasons why I hardly go to the movies anymore...

Rufus the Perturbed Mar 27th, 2010 02:12 AM

Proto, I've gotta say I'm a little disappointed, but only because you called the Rock a talented actor. I'll agree that he's improved a bit since The Scorpion King, but that's not saying much. Other than that, it's a good list, although I think Michael Bay was a better villian (since he wasn't acting; he really is EVIL). I do agree with you about Moon, though, it was pretty damn good.

Oh, yeah, and testtube? Did you notice how I gave my opinion without throwing out any personal insults? You should try that sometime. Oh, and you're an asshole. Yay, hypocrisy!!!

mrpointy22 Mar 27th, 2010 10:50 AM

In Protoclown's defence, the Rock actually is a good actor.

Terrible-D Apr 16th, 2010 05:17 AM

I just saw Moon, and I wanted to say thanks for the heads up. I don't know how I missed any mention of this movie before I read your article, but well worth the 90 min. run time.

bluegrasslass Jun 17th, 2010 10:00 AM

I have to point out that the cinema release of Paranormal Activity was fucked about with by once-talented-but-now-pathetic Stephen Spielberg; it was HE who put the crappy ending on. I have the DVD and you get both versions of the film; I watched the original (billed as "alternative" version, and the end makes much more sense, is much scarier and reveals the 'foreshadowing' at the beginning of the film.
Spielberg and Lucas and all those other talentless millionaires should just leave well alone – the fucktards!

Protoclown Jun 20th, 2010 11:23 AM

That doesn't surprise me at all to hear that the horrible ending was Spielberg's fault. I wrote a review of the film shortly after watching it (I'm saving it until the Halloween season to post here), and if memory serves I think I may have theorized that the theater ending was a Spielberg idea.

shekk Oct 18th, 2010 10:00 PM

moon > parnassus? yeh right

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