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-   -   Hope for an omnisexual? (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69706703)

executioneer May 19th, 2011 02:36 PM

Hope for an omnisexual?
i want to fuck, like, everything

MLE May 19th, 2011 02:42 PM

Stock up on lube

Grislygus May 19th, 2011 03:06 PM

Obviously the cure involves having sex whenever possible

Dr. Boogie May 19th, 2011 03:07 PM

Stay away from my trellis.

Fathom Zero May 19th, 2011 03:20 PM

Inanimate objects around the house would be a good starting point for beginners.

Pentegarn May 19th, 2011 06:37 PM

Will be tough when trying to fuck things without fuckable holes though.

A solid brick for example

Pram Maven May 19th, 2011 06:38 PM

Be sure to sand wood or metal before fucking.

kahljorn May 19th, 2011 06:50 PM


The Leader May 19th, 2011 07:14 PM

"My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself." - Emo Philips

executioneer May 19th, 2011 08:51 PM

but omnisexual means i want to fuck them all AT ONCE :(

i need science help so i can make my d*ck pass thru all points in the universe at once

10,000 Volt Ghost May 19th, 2011 09:03 PM


Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 722016)
Be sure to sand wood or metal before fucking.

I wish you would try

Zhukov May 20th, 2011 01:26 PM

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think Omnisexual would just mean that you are all sexes at once.

So, two then.

Wanting to have sex with the universe... I think that's just over excitement and it might go away. Keep us posted.

Fathom Zero May 20th, 2011 01:49 PM

Intersexed individuals count, too, mister.

executioneer May 20th, 2011 02:15 PM

i guess i gotta run for president of the galaxy now :doyougetit

Tadao May 20th, 2011 02:24 PM


Wouldn't you run for president of the universe? Parallel included of course.

executioneer May 20th, 2011 02:30 PM

yes but if i run for president of the galaxy i'll be in a perfect position to steal the ship with the infinite improbability drive, and then stick my wein*r in it

Tadao May 20th, 2011 02:36 PM


That way you can also screw the past, present and future.


MarioRPG May 20th, 2011 05:54 PM


Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 721978)
i want to fuck, like, everything

This reminds me of when they first go back in time in Hot Tub Time Machine "I wanna fuck sooooommmmmetthiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"

elx Jun 28th, 2011 05:19 AM

I was with somebody tonight :( It was really bad, he kept being like "can you feel that?" and I was like all I feel is hungry.. then he was like, "let's go to mickey dees, they open at like 5" so I was like "ok" just because I wanted in his car so he'd take me home :( I am sharing this with the internet in hopes that the internet will shame me into never ever ever ever ever going near him again, my brain doesn't seem to be doing the trick on it's own. :( feels so bad, man! :(

Grislygus Jun 28th, 2011 09:02 AM

Shame, huh. Sorry. In the hypothetical situation where that actually happened, I can't actually bring myself to give you hell over it

Mainly because it's his fault. That's a sad story; you get to think of him as The Hamburglar from now on

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 28th, 2011 10:27 AM

:( The hamburglar strikes again.

In positive news I thought I clicked on shyandquietguys new thread. Then I read what happened ELX. I'm glad this is a different thread.

Chojin Jun 28th, 2011 11:44 AM

elx true love sometimes takes a bit to unwind, you need to stay with him until his micro penis blossoms into a grand sea cucumber

when he turns 15, then you can start worrying about his girth

executioneer Jun 28th, 2011 12:40 PM

if you do it with him again make sure to make sexy robble robble noises

Pentegarn Jun 28th, 2011 04:37 PM

I think you should stay away from him cause he used the term "mickey dees". Who says that anymore?

elx Jun 29th, 2011 12:35 AM

I am just one of those people that was cursed/blessed with being naturally selective. I'm not attracted to the entire gender as a lot of people are, it's more like a one in a million thing. when I have instant chemistry with a guy then it's fucking awesome, but when there is no such connection then it will never work. I knew I didn't like him, but let him try anyway and made him stop when I got bored/it wasn't working. so he's the one that ended up feeling bad for something that wasn't his fault.

it's a curse because you can't have random sex with whomever, even if you like them a lot. it's a blessing because when it does work out it's like a decatrontilianzillion times better! I think half of the population is the same way. at least half of the female population.

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