I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   Sports & Health (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=49)
-   -   NFL 2011/2012 (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69707163)

Colonel Flagg Aug 2nd, 2011 12:37 PM

NFL 2011/2012
 
Let's talk some pigskin!

What's with Joe Banner? Did someone cut holes in his Dockers? He's spending Lurie's money like it was gasoline and he was driving a HumVee. And what are they going to do for DeSean Jackson?

WhiteRat Aug 2nd, 2011 07:59 PM


Oh NFL, how we missed thee.

The lockout is finally over and everyone is ready for some foosball. The last week has seen a flurry of activity with free agents and undrafted rookies engaged in a spirited game of musical chairs of which the NFL has never seen before. Camps are now underway and out of shape fatasses like FORMER Vikings LT Bryant McKinnie are getting cut from their respective teams.

In case anyone forgot already, the Green Bay Packers (boo) won it all last year:


Draft Recap

Cam Newton (or $cam Newton as Bama fans will tell you) was taken number 1 overall by the Panthers, causing noted bitch-boy and former 2nd round pick Jimmithy Clausen to switch to Johnson & Johnson No Tears shampoo.


Texas A&M LB Von Miller was taken second by the Josh McDaniels-less Broncos. He also tried to sue the NFL for the lockout shenanigans or something like that.


Tide DL Marcell Dareus went to the Bills at number 3


No Palmer no problem for the Bengals as they took Georgia WR AJ Green at number 4 and also took Palmer's future replacement Andy Dalton of TCU in the second round. Dalton's hair also matches his uniform.


Arizona took LSU shutdown corner Patrick Peterson at number 5. Hopefully he pans out better than Antrelle Rolle who was taken high in 2005.

The Falcons traded up to get Julio Jones from Bama, who Tony Gonzalez is already saying "This kid Julio Jones is the real deal. He's the best incoming receiver I've ever played with. Come to think of it, it's not even close."

Young Qbs Jake Locker, Blaine Gabbert, and Christian Ponder went early to the Titans, Jaguars, and Vikings, respectively.

Also Nick Fairley went to the Lions, causing NFC North QBs to shit their pantaloons at the though of a Lions D-line anchored by Fairley, Suh, and Kyle VandenBosch.

The last player of the draft, Mr. Irrelevant, went to Cheta Ozougwu of Rice.


Godspeed, Cheta.

Notable Transactions

CB Nnamdi Asomugha
Old Team: Raiders
New Team: Eagles


WR Sidney Rice
Old Team: Vikings
New Team: Seahawks

Rice will be joining his bff and former Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson in Seattle.


Kevin Kolb
Old Team: Eagles
New Team: Cardinals


Jason Babin
Old Team: Titans
New Team: Eagles

One year wonder ends up back in Philly where he palyed in 2009.


CB Johnathan Joseph
Old Team: Bengals
New Team: Texans


QB Matt Hasselbeck
Old Team: Seahawks
New Team: Titans

Keepin' the seat warm for Jake Locker.


Barrett Ruud
Old Team: Bucs
New Team: Titans


Donovan McNabb
Old Team: Redskins
New Team: Vikings

I'm desperately hoping that last year's McNabb was a fluke.


Reggie Bush
Old Team: Saints
New Team: Dolphins


Albert Haynesworth
Old Team: Redskins
New Team: Patriots

If anyone can whip this fatty into shape it's Belichick.


Chad Ochocinco
Old Team: Bengals
New Team: Patriots


Ronnie Brown
Old Team: Dolphins
New Team: Eagles


Vince Young
Old Team: Titans
New Team: Eagles

Less pressure and a chance to learn from Vick on the bench.

New Coaches


Jim Harbaugh
Old Team: HC at Standford
New Team: 49ers


Jason Garrett
Old Team: OC/Interim HC Cowboys
New Team: Cowboys


Hue Jackson
Old Team: OC Raiders
New Team: Raiders


Leslie Fraizer
Old Team: DC Vikings
New Team: Vikings


Pat Shurmur
Old Team: OC Rams
New Team: Browns


John Fox
Old Team: HC Panthers
New Team: Broncos


Ron Rivera
Old Team: DC Chargers
New Team: Panthers

This took me too long to type up so you guys better enjoy it!

Sam Aug 2nd, 2011 10:00 PM

YEAH, LET'S GO BROWNS.

Colonel Flagg Aug 2nd, 2011 10:08 PM

I'm not going to quote you, WR, but good luck on the McNabb thing. He should do better with a few people to throw to, plus a running game. Peterson is still there, right?

Good luck with the new HC, too. I'll be watching with interest.

k0k0 Aug 2nd, 2011 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 735097)
YEAH, LET'S GO BROWNS.


WhiteRat Aug 3rd, 2011 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 735106)
I'm not going to quote you, WR, but good luck on the McNabb thing. He should do better with a few people to throw to, plus a running game. Peterson is still there, right?

Good luck with the new HC, too. I'll be watching with interest.

Yeah he's in the last year of his rookie contract. I have no doubts that he'll get locked up with a long term deal this season.

All Hail Duke Aug 3rd, 2011 01:00 AM

ok Raiders, please have a good season this year....or at the very least a halfway decent one like last year

WhiteRat Aug 3rd, 2011 01:40 AM

I think Jackson will have the Raiders in the playoffs within 2 years.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 3rd, 2011 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 735110)

He's actually a Browns fan. :(

Whiterat, I wish you would post like this everyweek. I just caught up on more than I needed to in the nfl in less than five mins thanks to you.

Pentegarn Aug 3rd, 2011 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteRat (Post 735183)
I think Jackson will have the Raiders in the playoffs within 2 years.

If Al Davis doesn't fuck it up anyway. The Raiders are where pro coaching careers go to die unfortunately.

New Browns coach makes me happy, regardless of who it is :lol

This has been an uber busy week, it is clear the owners really wanted things to get going again

Womti Aug 3rd, 2011 10:30 AM

RAIDERS ARE GONNA WIN THIS YEAR I JUST KNOW IT

Pentegarn Aug 3rd, 2011 05:11 PM

I assume you mean a game

MailCall Aug 3rd, 2011 09:26 PM

RIP Bubba Smith
 
Bubba Smith passes away.
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shu...urn=nfl-wp4511

Colonel Flagg Aug 3rd, 2011 09:50 PM

Rest in peace, big guy. :tear

WhiteRat Aug 3rd, 2011 11:44 PM

So who actually believes that Randy Moss is going to stay retired!





not me

Colonel Flagg Aug 4th, 2011 05:26 AM

Sure he will, just like Brett Favre.

Pentegarn Aug 4th, 2011 06:11 AM

He might, cause he has probably run out of teams who are willing to tolerate his shit

WhiteRat Aug 4th, 2011 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 735406)
He might, cause he has probably run out of teams who are willing to tolerate his shit

I was so excited last season when the Vikings traded for Moss. I always wanted Moss to somehow come back and finish his career in purple but I guess some thins are just too good to be true.

For what it's worth his arrival and quick exit helped Childress find his ass without a job.

Colonel Flagg Aug 4th, 2011 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteRat (Post 735427)
For what it's worth his arrival and quick exit helped Childress find his ass without a job.

No, he has a job.


WhiteRat Aug 4th, 2011 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 735454)
No, he has a job.


:lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 5th, 2011 12:01 AM

Moss is gonna end up in the cfl.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 5th, 2011 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteRat (Post 735389)
So who actually believes that Randy Moss is going to stay retired!





not me

Or even the

Sam Aug 5th, 2011 12:33 AM

Technically, this is the second time Randy Moss has quit football. The first was when he decided to play for the Raiders.

Pentegarn Aug 5th, 2011 05:55 AM

Since it is pretty much a proven fact that Moss is a poison, I think even the CFL, the Arena league, WWE and American Gladiators won't want him even.

Colonel Flagg Aug 5th, 2011 09:09 AM

There's always "Dancing with the Stars".


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:46 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.