The Costanza Method
 

I have been finding myself eating while I masturbate sometimes. At the end of the day when I just want to get rid of the itch, and I also want to eat a sandwich real quick, both before I get to other not eating or masturbating activities. I never decide to do it, I just end up reaching for the sandwich that is sitting next to me while I'm getting busy with the hand love.

It cannot just be me doing this, it is so goddamn efficient.

i love to masturbate while eating a greasy sandwich. then i dont even need to bother with lotion or lubrication
plus it makes it easier to score a fatbitch when you tell her your dick tastes like western bacons

the only thing i have to worry about is getting extra extra-special-sauce on my sandwich

what worries you more getting dick on your sandwich or sandwich on your dick

Jesus christ you need both hands? Your wife must be terrified.

my wife left me but yea she could only take a few inches before she started screaming and shit like she was being raped

I always get really, really hungry and/or thirsty after sex, and there is usually not much I can do about it :/

you didnt answer my question of whats worse, sandwich dick or dick sandwich

Sandwich dick sounds like a horrifying medical condition.

haha thats what i was thinking

dick sandwich sounds like what you'd say when you're threatening to beat someone with your dick

BARRY SANDWICH

a bonesaw sandwich sounds like it could b a real sandwich :/

my issue with eating and jacking off is how my hands smell of dick while i do it

so then you're more worried about dick sandwich than sandwich dick

Mmmm yeah

You guys, jesus.