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-   -   Van Helsing (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=738)

James Feb 18th, 2003 12:17 PM

Van Helsing
 
http://www.vanhelsingmovie.com/

I wanna see this movie. :(

Zomboid Feb 18th, 2003 12:41 PM

Yes, looks cool but you're forgetting this is the year 2003 and almost anything like that ends up being fucking awful. I'm still holding out for the day they get a capable director and crew to make a castlevania movie :(

Edit:http://us.imdb.com/Name?Sommers,%20Stephen%20(I)

Yes, the guy who made the new mummy movies and the scorpion king will be directing and writing it. So you can expect too many jokes, too little violence and zero blood so they can market it to 13 year olds. HAVE FUN, BOYS AND GIRLS!

James Feb 18th, 2003 12:50 PM

Actually, a Castlevania movie is in the works. It's written and directed by the guy who did Legally Blonde, and stars Dolph Lundgren as Johnny Belmont.

Zomboid Feb 18th, 2003 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamesman
Actually, a Castlevania movie is in the works. It's written and directed by the guy who did Legally Blonde, and stars Dolph Lundgren as Johnny Belmont.

:suicide :boohoo

Dolph as belmont could be cool...but legally blonde director guy..ugh. Damnit, it'll be pg-13 I bet. For once, I wanna see the hero kill someone (in a new movie) and be showered in a red mist of glory >:

James Feb 18th, 2003 01:12 PM

The Rock plays Dracula.

Anonymous Feb 18th, 2003 01:33 PM

And Vin Diesel as the voice of Death.

James Feb 18th, 2003 02:54 PM

Gary Coleman as the Hunchback Humper.

Zomboid Feb 18th, 2003 02:56 PM

You guys are pricks >:

Zbu Manowar Feb 18th, 2003 03:04 PM

Nah, they do have a point. Chances are it'll be edited to nothing thanks to parents not raising their children. >:

Spectre X Feb 18th, 2003 03:51 PM

well, that definately sucks an ass. it sucks a big wet ass. first of all, propably the only thing that is good about this movie, is that Van Helsing is Dutch. now, on to the bad part (read the rest of the movie) Frankenstein, wasn't evil. he was a tortured soul. second of all, Van helsing was old when he got rid of Dracula, and yet, here we see him fighting Dracula while he's young, and even without Keanu Reeves. third of all, "Wolf Man"? what the fuck were they thinking when they came up with that name? was it something like: "hey, those are some really triping colours floating around my head, hey, let's call thuis guy the Wolf Man". what, wasn't WHEREWOLF cool enough? GOD, this movie HAS to suck. not because it's in 2003, but only because of the plot. they could make this in the best era of Horror (i.e. the thirties) and it would still suck ass. they're heretics for messing with Bram Stoker's and Mary shelley's novels like that. I say, the peole of this forum have to unite and burn down the people involved in this movie.

AlienGremlin Feb 18th, 2003 04:13 PM

The reason their using the name Wolfman and portraying Frankenstein's monster as an evil beast is because it's an attempt to revive a few more Universal monsters. They aren't going for 100% literary accuracy but more to recapture their old movie monsters.

Even if it blows goats i'm likely still going to see it.

EDIT: Lundgren retired.

Zomboid Feb 18th, 2003 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienGremlin
The reason their using the name Wolfman and portraying Frankenstein's monster as an evil beast is because it's an attempt to revive a few more Universal monsters. They aren't going for 100% literary accuracy but more to recapture their old movie monsters.

Even if it blows goats i'm likely still going to see it.

EDIT: Lundgren retired.

I agree with spectre about frankenstein and the wolf man. I really never liked the universal monsters as they originally were. A few of the re-imaginings of frankenstein were good, but I doubt a new one would be good because he wouldn't be in that new movie without needing to be a bad guy, which frankie never was.

Btw, a werewolf would rip van helsing to shit.

James Feb 18th, 2003 05:19 PM

This isn't about Universal monsters. It's about monsters. Just, monsters. And you don't necessarily know that Frankenstein's Monster will be some sort of evil beast here. You don't know ANYTHING about the movie yet.

And if they called the Wolf Man a "Wherewolf," they would have been criticized for spelling the name wrong. :rolleyes

Personally, I'm looking forward to this. This will hopefully be a nice revival of the monster genre.

AlienGremlin Feb 18th, 2003 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamesman
This isn't about Universal monsters. It's about monsters. Just, monsters. And you don't necessarily know that Frankenstein's Monster will be some sort of evil beast here. You don't know ANYTHING about the movie yet.

No it's a part of Hollywoods crusade to revive the universal monsters. First was the Mummy, now it's Dracula, The Wolf Man, and Frankenstein's monster. Guillermo Del Toro is doing the creature from the black lagoon soon too. Were it just monsters it wouldn't be made by universal and star their three most popular classic "universal monsters."

And no I don't know Frankenstein's monster will be evil. In fact I hope it isnt. I always looked upon the creatuire as one of the most sympathetic charecters i've ever read about. It would be cool if during their run-in Vanhellsing realizes that the most really isnt all that monsterous and decides not to kill it. A cool plot point could be that it was Frankenstein himself that summoned Van Hellsing to deal with his creation and has been spreading fear regarding what it may be capable of. Frankenstein in one corner goading Van Hellsing to kill the beast but when Van Hellsing learns the truth he leaves Frankenstein to the vengence of his own creation. That'd make me smile.

James Feb 18th, 2003 05:35 PM

Well, I just think it's fair to forever portray Frankenstein as a flat-topped dolt, or Dracula as a cape-wearing feminine fancy land with a bad hairdo just because that's how they were portrayed in a movie so many years ago. Thinks change.

Like I said, monsters rule, and I hope this movie will too.

Zbu Manowar Feb 18th, 2003 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spectre X
WHEREWOLF

There. THEREWOLF, THERECASTLE. :)

Zomboid Feb 18th, 2003 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamesman
Well, I just think it's fair to forever portray Frankenstein as a flat-topped dolt, or Dracula as a cape-wearing feminine fancy land with a bad hairdo just because that's how they were portrayed in a movie so many years ago. Thinks change.

Like I said, monsters rule, and I hope this movie will too.

It won't rule though. Can you honestly recall a good RECENT big budget monster movie? We're not in the 80's, or even the 90's anymore. Good high budget monster movies are a thing of the past.

James Feb 19th, 2003 05:47 AM

My hopes are still high that this will rectify all the shitty "monster" movies.

Spectre X Feb 19th, 2003 01:17 PM

Jamesman, you have VERY low standards. I didn't mean that the monsters would suk, I meant that the movie's plot, and lead characters would suck. not the monsters, and with lead caharcters I don't mean monsters. how could this be anyway? Frankenstein was written way before Dracula. well, at least I think it is.

Royal Tenenbaum Feb 19th, 2003 03:12 PM

Of course he has low standards! He watches wrestling. :lol

James Feb 19th, 2003 03:18 PM

OH BOY YOU SURE ZINGED ME. I GUESS I BETTER GO CRY IN MY LIGHTLESS ROOM LISTENING TO OASIS NOW. OH WAIT, THAT'S YOU!

Talk about low standards. :rolleyes

Anyway, from what I've seen, this movie looks very good. Maybe after I see the trailer and commercials, I'll feel differently. But for now, I have high hopes.

Zomboid Feb 19th, 2003 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamesman

Anyway, from what I've seen, this movie looks very good. Maybe after I see the trailer and commercials, I'll feel differently. But for now, I have high hopes.

That's just the thing. You've only seen a few cool pictures and a really cool whatwillprobablybetheposter.

Bennett Feb 19th, 2003 03:35 PM

Why can't they just rerelease Monster Squad?

James Feb 19th, 2003 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Skellington
That's just the thing. You've only seen a few cool pictures and a really cool whatwillprobablybetheposter.

And, your point? Based on that, I have hopes this movie will be good. Is that so wrong? Based on the same thing, you're saying it will suck. Time will tell what becomes of this movie (if it becomes anything. Right now there are some serious problems going on about desecrating a church).

Zomboid Feb 19th, 2003 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamesman
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Skellington
That's just the thing. You've only seen a few cool pictures and a really cool whatwillprobablybetheposter.

And, your point? Based on that, I have hopes this movie will be good. Is that so wrong? Based on the same thing, you're saying it will suck. Time will tell what becomes of this movie (if it becomes anything. Right now there are some serious problems going on about desecrating a church).

Not based on the same thing, based on the past 13 years, man. Hollywood sucks >:


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