Any questions?
 

Does anybody have any questions they'd like to ask me!

nope, nobody does :(

-willie

LIKE OMG JIXBY WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR HAIR DONE :)

SPILL THE BEANS :)

What is the meaning of this?

WHERE IS CELL!?1 >:

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What is your favorite movie?

FAVORITE FLAVOR???

since philip morris owns Kraft, are ther any addictive substances in its cheese?

i asked this because i eat naught but sandwiches these days..

sandwiches and cereal.

I HAVE A QWUESTION :lol

pillow fight and I are the only two people who have responded correctly to this thread >:

-willie

Are you a character?

An excellent one at that, Mr. Satan

I have a question for Jixby Philips, know-it-all extraordinaire. What is the square root of 255^2?

i have no questions for jixby phillips

jixby, when is spooky's baby due?

lol

Jixby, how can I be better friends with people like Emu and Esuohlim? (answer asap)

JIXBY HOW DO I LOSE WEIGHT :lol

SHOULD I CALL JENNY? I'M GOING TO CALL JENNY :D

Hi Captain Robo, thanks for the question!

I got my hair done at the haircut at the Target shopping center, can't remember what the place was called, though.

Anyway, I hope that answered you're question!

Emu, Thanks for the question.

if by your question you mean to ask what the purpose of this thread is, then I think I can answer that! The purpose of this thread is to ask me questions that I may be able to answer!

I hope that helps!

Hi Goku, thanks for coming out to ask me a question.

I'm afraid I don't know who this cell person is? Could you please give me more info? I'd be interested! Anyway, I guess I don't know where he is, if that isn't already apparent.

Thanks!

Re: .
 

Hmmm, great question Snatchtastic!

I think I'd have to say Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered is my FAVORITE FAVORITE, if I MUST choose, but I do have favorites in almost all genres. You can ask me to elaborate later, if you like!

Thanks again for the question!

Esuohlim, favorite flavor of what?

sandwiches and cereal? :lol sounds like you have a great time!

Pillowfight, what is your question?

What do you mean by "character," Marilyn666?

Some people say I am quite the character! :lol

255.

Chojin, thanks a lot for the question, but I think Spooky would be able to answer that much better than I can ;)

I don't know!!!!!!

Call Jenny :lol

Jixby, you mean these rosemarry bleeds, right here?


edit: it took me 2 times to get it right :(

There's no way those questions could have been answered in one post. :/

hey, jixby! did you answer those questions in separate posts to make the askers feel special?

i sure did!

even though he didnt answer my question... why didnt you answer my question, jixby?

Do rectums lose their elasticity with each sexual encounter and do the overabundance of nerve endings in that region compensate for the aforementioned phenomena?

Do Kellychaos' lose their elasticity with each sexual encounter and do the overabundance of unfunny jokes in that region compensate for the aforementioned jerk?

All I got out of that is that you wanted to jerk me off. Maybe I'm wrong. :/

i am not sure now, jerk

Yo, Jixby!!!
I gots 2 questions.
1. How can I be as cool as you (not better)?
2.Whats it called when you dont like girls, or dont like boys, but youre not bisexual?

JIXBY JUST ANSWER THIS QUESTION!!

WHO DO YOU LIKE MORE ME OR ESTELLE !! :conspiracy

Dear Jixby,

I have been posting on an Internet forum named "Fred." Fred and I have not been intimate for several years. He just laughs at me when I "attempt" to be "sexually agressive." We get along fine "outside" of the "bedroom." We "argue" once in a while, but it has never turned into a screaming match where I throw "plates" at Fred. The only problem is the lack of intimacy. How do I make "bedtime" fun again?

Jixby, where is that penis?

Jixby, thanks for answering my other question!

He's still quoting and answering all the other ones individually.

I meant the question before the question I just asked. Sorry for all the confusion I have caused. I'm sorry.

why do people have more than 4000 posts?
is it because they have no lives?

maybe because they post over 4000 times or something? :/

i dont mean it like that...

I am no longer taking questions.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME OUT TO ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS, JIXBY. SEE YOU AROUND NEXT TIME.

Oh come on Jixby, I had a whopper of a question.

Since you are better than MEATMAN, I'll ask you.

What type of food tastes the best burnt?

I'd answer that, but it's not my thread.

Meat. :rolleyes

No Spam Allowed meatman!

And im talking about your sig :rolleyes

Meat is good, but I was thinking more along the lines of toast. Yes, with meat. Ha, ha, ha. :maul

I have decided to start taking questions again.

Will Marilyn666 marry me?

Why is Alfred E. Neuman your avatar?

jixby, jixby, wherefore art thou jixby?

.
 

Dear Jixby Phillips.

What is the one film coming out in the year 2004 that you are most anxious to see?

Dear Mr. Jixby,

I was reading some rumors in various magazines and am wondering if you really are planning to tour again in '04?

I really don't know! Why would you ask me this!

It is from the film "Up the Academy," which was sponsered by Mad Magazine. They wanted to compete with National Lampoon's making Animal House. Then, at the last minute they realized that the movie was shit, and Mad Magazine ordered that their name be dropped from the film (the full title was originally to be "Mad Magazine presents Up the Academy"). Also, a few small bits involving a live-action Alfred E. Newman had to be cut. When it was released on VHS, somebody fucked up and put out the version with all the mad magazine stuff in it. I found it at my video store and put it on DVD. I made a screencap and made it my avatar. For fun I guess.

Last night I was looking through a book my mom got me years ago called "MAD about the movies" which has a bunch of MAD magazine movie parodies, and it even includes a parody of Up the Academy.

I'm at my computor! lol!

What is even coming out? The first thing that comes to my mind is that Anchorman movie with Will Ferrel. But everything I think is going to be great is shit.

what magazines what the heck, touring again? what am i a band or something? lol

WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE JIXBY? :D

Jixby, how big is your DVD collection?

Mr. Jixby, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Jixby, is it possibly to kill someone by fucking them to death?

Let's assume that STDs are not involved in any way.

I've used Pert Plus 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner since like the 4th grade.

445 discs (meaning counting individual disks per box set, etc). Jesus Christ. This doesn't include DVDs I've made.

How the heck would I know probably al lot :eek

wtf that's not a question

TOO MUCH FUNNY STUFF

TOO MUCH FUNNY STUFF

TOO MUCH FUNNY STUFF

TOO MUCH FUNNY STUFF

JIXBY WHAT TOOTHPASTE DO YOU USE?

Do I have the option to ask you another question at a later time?

jixby will you go to the fall dance with me :) :)

Jixby, are you jealous that I'm going to go see Kevin Smith at UC Berkeley?

will i get any action this weekend??

jixby, is my signature appropriate commentary on the stadium sports fans of america?

Dearest Jixby,

Why do I suck? >:

Like, Colgate or something

yeah

did i just get asked on a take-out date :eek

not really :(

wtf i'm not a magic 8 ball!!!!!! :lol

is it about them being faggotslol

I think it has something to do with free will

umm its hard to say this jixby but i found someone else hope we can still be friends!!!

Jixby, do you think thats the Post Revolutionary War economy was better (in retrospect) to that of any devoloping nation today?

Wrong answer try again. >:

I died :(

Mr. Jixby, my question is: What the fuck?

I haven't received a satisfactory answer in other leading competetor's q/a threads, so I'll ask it here: what is the onomatopoeia for whistling?

Oh yeah, and what is the Java logical operator for "quite possibly"? I know or is ||, but what about the less certain of the operators? They need coding too.

:lol geek

:lol skeet stain

I am no longer taking questions.

Plz take mine :(