The problem with internet porn
 

If you beat off while looking at it, you get jizz all over your pants. How am I going to get these stains off now?

It's easier when your able to find your penis.

Yeah, 7'' is just so hard to find. :rolleyes



;)

OAO penis forum >:

You have to be more careful when masturbating. DUH :rolleyes

I'm so lazy about even masturbating that I sometimes do it right over the toilet so I don't have to clean anything up. :( :( :(

haha you rule milhouse

why don't you shake his hand?

Cut a hole in the center of a paper plate the diameter of your dick.

Slide plate all the way down the shaft to your balls.

Do the deed and try to avoid paper cuts.

Take picture.

Send to I-Mockery.

We'll be kind.

Do you prefer your dick through a paper plate? >:

Dude, you can watch the stains out.

I've tried whacking off into the toilet and I have to bend over all funny-like and it's really fucking uncomfortable. The only remotely comfortable position is to get on my knees and beat off and jizz into the toilet. I still prefer to stand up, beat off, jizz onto a hard surface that is easy to clean (like a bathroom counter), wipe it up, and smile. In that order.

LAISSEZ-FAIRE CUMSHOOTING: JUST LET IT FLY AND TO HELL WITH CLEANING IT UP!

I didn't know that was so unusual :/

That's always been like SOP for me when anyone else is home because it's the only room with a lock :/

I don't have a dick.

But I would never dream of wasting a paper plate if one was offered that had a dick stucking through it.

Re: The problem with internet porn
 

Tide works good.

Meaning you'd use the plate?

Meaning I'd use the dick in spite of the plate.

YEAH TRY MASTURBATING WITH YOUR INVISIBLE HAND

How old are you again?

Having sex with plates :lol

This thread is amazing.

Fucking brilliant.

Re spoof on pants: I can hold it in for up to 45 seconds after the deed

Shame you'll never put it to any use.

I have involuntarily conjured an image of OAO looking at his right wing pseudo intellectual websites in the cold, bleak moments of post wank ultra-reality, his miniscule droplets of sticky white lovepiss slowly ebbing into the space under his keys as he feverishly copies and pastes the latest rabid right wing economic ramblings onto the politics board.

Is there a conflict between circumsition and toilet paper? Because I don't see the problem.

Old enough to see the merits of tool utilization while performing the age old art of self relief in one stationary spot.

I'm guessing that like some people, he probably eats at the computer too.

I was merely offering a solution to the mess. At least this way he can wear the jeans another day.

Why?