OK, so that had me laughing for a good minute.
1) 'just'? I think not, that was several hours ago.
2) I wasn't calling you fat, I was apologising for you getting the impression that I had called you fat.
3) If I had called you fat, I would of said 'Damn you're fat Eric! Stop eating all the pies, you might end up looking like Bobo Adobo!'.
4) If I had said that I would have had Chris on my case again like that time I said you were a chubbier version of an old girlfriend, & he was all 'but I'm a chubbier version of Chojin, & two chubby's make a fat.
'.
5) Jesus!
6) You are too sensitive!
7) Want to stop me making fat comments? THEN START EXERCISING AGAIN & LOSE THE GODDAMN CHUBBY!