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Mocker
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Jul 19th, 2004, 07:07 PM
it was okay but i think you should change some things;
1. fartin shoulnd't be rude to his daughter
2. instead of his wife saying 'did you hide the divorce papers" or whatever, fartin should just say "now lets go to the park!"
3. fartin should be shown at the end kissing his wife and athen pushing his kids on the swings
if you change it so this happens i'll give it a better grade !!
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