[Helm]

*What defines a good strong crush for you personally?

The overwhelming feeling of lust over someone. Usually over someone you've just met but not only.


*How does it make you behave/act?

I can't stop thinking about the person. I find even his personality quirks endearing, also overlook any real problems any sober mind could spot from a mile away. Periodically being overcome with feelings of anxiety or restlessness. Sometimes, depending on how forceful the personality of the other person is, I might suffer from lack of confidence, or inexplicably, I might find myself behaving completely overconfident (I think in an endearing way, not an asshole way, but I guess the only difference between the two is in the other person and if she is attracted to me as well). Depending on how 'grounded' the crush is ( meaning, if you *know* you can get there if you tried and the other person has expressed interest) any of these effects could be stronger, or weaker.

To an extent, the effects can be willfully depressed, or indulged in.

*How would you define a good strong crush in general, not specific to you?

I'd have to say that you can't stop thinking about the person, their physical features or small things they did or said is a good indication. Obviously, coupled with a very strong sexual attraction, but that's not really a prequisite. A smaller crush might start on the grounds of personality alone, and then you see one's physical presence is a different light also.

*Have you ever had a strong crush on someone you've never spoken to?

Yes. Check the true frustrating love stories thread in the backups for my most strong case. Nowdays I never speak to women I find attractive, and even if they are introduced to me or something, I might flirt but I keep myself in check. I don't know if this is useful to your research though, because my way of life is not demographically usual, as I abstain completely.

*When you are infatuated with someone do you prefer the company of others or yourself?

depends on what my chances are. If there's a strong possibility of something happening, I'd say solitary, so one can devote an effort to make it happen. If however you know you've got no chance or where ( softly or not ) brushed off (which doesn't usually signify the end of the crush at all) then I'd say I'd seek company to keep my mind off of that.

*When you are infatuated with someone do you feel high most of the time or low? Do you feel something else entirely? What?

Mentioned.

*When you have a strong crush do you generally try to repress those feelings?

Mentioned. Yes.

*Do you tell people about it or keep it to yourself?

I am open to anyone who might ask, including the person I have the crush on, but I try to make it clear that my honestly doesn't mean I'm 'making a move'. I have no shame of these things, and anyone who wants to know, will know.

**Can people you know tell that you have a crush without you having to tell them? Can you tell with anyone you know?

I don't understand the phrasing well, but as I consider anything I say openly to not be a secret (unless it's somehow otherwise implied, but in this case it's not) to be freely circulated according to anyone's discretion. I don't 'send' people to hook me up, if that's what you mean. That's for seventh graders. I'd be somewhat ticked off however, if I mentioned my crush to a friend, and he attempted to 'get us together' on his own, since as my friend he should know that I am not interested by default.

*Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

I certainly believe in lust at first sight, yes. And I do believe you can intellectually fall in love with people in amazingly short periods of time, too. But I don't believe in 'love' if you mean the term as mystically or esoterically charged.

*Is lust a type of love?

Lust is lust. Intellectual attraction is intellectual attraction. When the two are centered on the same person, you could say that that situation is the closest one I relate to the general concept of 'love', although that doesn't mean I accept said concept. So the question is invalid.

After reading this, do you believe that Trolius's reaction to Crisyde resembles at all what your reaction to crush would be or have been?

Generally no, as to 'become a slave of love' requires a certain romantic mindset I completely lack. It might seem as a passive result of 'love', but I think it's a very determined choice to give in in such a way. Furthermore, while the idea of 'faking illness' or other such cries of attention might come to mind if the other person doesn't seem interested, I do not think I'd go that far.

Is Chaucer's idea of infatuation/love at first sight archaic or obselete in your opinion? Why or why not?
Is it realistic?

I somewhat answered to that before, but it seems the modern trend in western society is to further trivialize love, or love as it's shallowly understood. However, I think most people 'reserve' that type of romantic appreciation for really really special people nevertheless. So a girl might be the perfect cosmo open relationship experimenting girl generally, but if she falls for some guy hard, she reverts to the mindset of her mother. I believe it to be completely unrealistic in that it doesn't relate to reality in any significant way, but that doesn't really say much, as reality is irrelevant when the biochemicals start pumping.

Is this a concievable way for a guy to behave?

Concievable, sure. Suggested? No.

Hope my answers help.