[Chojin]

Fear is an incredible motivating force. I imagine this thread in is Readings so it doesn't get dicked up by the idiots that roam GB for brains.

My experiences with Christianity as a kid were through a handful of friends that went to church. My father being agnostic and my mother pagan, though, it didn't have a chance to get too ingrained in my head. All the same, through the beliefs of my friends and the under 10 times I attended a Christian church, I still find myself fighting back the urge to pray when I get on an airplane.

Growing up, my imagination was overactive to dangerous levels, to to point of where I would only get a few hours of sleep because I thought for sure something was going to kill me. I made my parents leave concerts early because I was certain someone was going to try to assassinate me. I needed a crutch but found the Christian god too unbelievable and mean-spirited so I made up my own. I don't remember his name, but he was this big faceless guy in medieval armor that would theoretically protect me. I wrote up a prayer for myself to say (it involved something about being good and nice to people and in return this guy would protect me) and suddenly after a week or so of trying to believe it I found it easier to sleep at night.

My point is that everyone finds something to believe in, because life is too fucking scary to handle without the buddy system. Athiests tend to attach themselves to their careers or a hobby, but everyone finds something to pay obsessive attention to in order to drown out the sensory overload that is life. I theorize the main cause of panic attacks are when a human brain doesn't narrow itself and takes in too much of its surroundings at once.

I usually enjoy life these days. I just cling to my preconceived assumptions of how the universe operates and I don't have a care in the world. But really, without proof all we have is our ignorance, so we might as well learn to embrace it.