[The One and Only...]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

So, you're saying that of all the collegiate squads in the country, none of them are ranked #1? With such a keen grasp on numbers, no wonder you're a libertarian. No, I never said that all four of them were A-rated. But I inferred that at least two of them were, seeing as I fenced inferior épée teams with two A-ranked fencers.

I'm saying that the top collegiate squad isn't the top squad in the country. I don't really understand your point, anyway; you didn't beat any of them.

Foil is the weapon taught to beginners, in nearly all common circumstances. That's all I meant by that. And no, by the logic you present here, you seem to be saying that I told you that I personally beat your ass in a bout so you switched weapons. Learn the art of syllogism, boy. I say: You got beat by a good fencer. Just because there is an implicit "I am a good fencer" does not equate to "I would beat you".

I wasn't implying that you personally beat me. That doesn't even make sense, considering I've never met you. And I get beaten by good fencers in both weapons - that's not why I went primary foil. Hell, I'd say I have more natural talent for epee at this point.

Then, in 1874, I bequeathed my maidenhead to a charming rogue by the pseudonym of Halifax, his surname being incognito for fear that mother would disapprove of my triflings with a Welshman. It was not so much lust as curiosity that drove me further into his tentecular grasp, but I hope for tomorrow's sun to shine on me again as did those days I once knew.

Look at my profile on ASKFred and see for yourself.

Ah yes, the enlightened one knows exactly how much I weigh. This is quite possible, despite the fact that I haven't posted a picture of myself since having lost thirty pounds.

Maybe you should consider doing that.

DON'T GET PREACHY ON ME WITH YOUR "I'M COOL CUZ I DON'T EAT PEOPLE" MENTALITY. I've heard it all before, and never found it impressive.

I'm sure you're very popular.

Man, kid, there is so much you just don't know. Allow me to reposte by arguing how many hot chicks I've made out with in the past 18 months. That'll make me, like, online popular and stuff.

I'm sure the ladies can't resist the power of your inquisitive gaze and pipe.

That's lovely. Were you aware of the fact that I've been on the boards for around five years now? The only other time I've seen such an online homoerotic fixation with me to this degree was with Khaka or whatever he was called. He even made a parody character of me, if you can call it that. Oh, to be young again.

Yeah, I'm just so fixated. It's only a matter of time before I make a Diatribe on you.

Oh, wait.

So, let me just point out where things are. You're still pissy because I outlined kindly and patiently why you suck at life in the effort to be a genuine help. You have evidently let this linger on your head, and now the perfect chance for redemption has come... with a fencing tournament? Let me explain something to you. The only reason why I EVER mention fencing in your posts is just to demonstrate that you're not so fucking eccentric as you think you are. You're constantly making posts like "hey, I've got a tournament to go to" or "hey, I want to join wrestling because the idea excites me, but I'm a fencer and that is somehow relevant". Fencing is just a fucking sport, and it's not one to which I devote a huge slice of my life. If I do well in it, grand. If not, so what. C'est la vie, et je vois que tu toujours manques de savoir vivre.

Oh yeah, I suck so much at life. Whew, it's so hard to be attractive, intelligent, muscular, and increasingly popular. What will I ever do.

Frankly, I could care less how eccentric I am. I just thought that the foil insult wasn't justified.