Quote:
Originally Posted by kahljorn
Here are some questions I recently read in a phone-in advice column:
1. HI MY CAR IS ABOUT IS SLOWLY DRIVING DOWNHILL TOWARDS A CLIFF. WHAT DO I DO?
2. HELLO, MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE WHAT DO I DO?
3. IM ON A DIET OF CrAcK AND CANT AFFORD ANYMORE IS THERE A SIMILAR DIET I COULD SWITCH TO WITHOUT WORRIES OF COMPLICATIONS?
4. THERE"S A STAMPEDE OF ANGERED BUFFALO RUSHING TOWARDS ME AND THE ONLY THING NEARBY IS A STEEL INFORCED BRICK HOUSE WHAT DO I DO?
5.THERES A BRUTAL MURDER RAPIST COMING TOWARDS ME AND ALL I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION IS A CELL PHONE, A DIRTY PURSE FULL OF TAMPONS AND RECIPTS, AND A .44 PISTOL WHAT SHOULD I DO?
6. HELLO IM STANDING UNDER A COLLAPSING TREE WHAT DO I DO?
7.I CANT STOP SPENDING MONEY ON EBAY/INTERNET WHAT SHOULD I DO?
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1. GET OUT OF THAT CAR.
2. GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE.
3. START DRINKING SLIMFAST OR SOMETHING, I DONT KNOW.
4. TRY TO CHARGE THROUGH THE STEEL-ENFORCED BRICK HOUSE BEFORE THE BUFFALOS DO.
5. TURN OFF THE SAFETY, GRASP THE TRIGGER. POINT THE PISTOL AT THE RAPIST. PULL THE TRIGGER.
6. DONT MOVE, IT MIGHT PROVE TO BE FUN/BENEFICIAL.
7. DESTROY THE INTERNET.[/quote