Hobby Lobby Face!
Behold! Hobby Lobby Face has returned to torment to souls of mobsters and soccer moms alike! As a part time employee at Hobby Lobby, young Johnathon McCart had everything, a young pubescent girl who loved him, a one legged dog named Lee, and the admiration of several nerds at the local arcade. However, one day while checking the back for some chicken wire, Johnny boy was whitness to a secret mob deal going down with his manager. The mobsters , who were easily startled, turned and emptied the clips of their 9mm pop shooters into Johnny's face. Left for dead in the back of the Hobby Lobby, Johnny looked at his face in a little barbie mirror and saw a hideous monster reflected back at him. Not wanting to scare any children as he walked out of the store to the hospital 2 miles away, Johnny constructed a mask out of whatever supplies he could find among the millions of boxes of little plastic foliage and strips of odd assortments of material. Unfortunately, Johnny failed to realize that children are as easily startled as mobsters, and when every child within visual distance shouted a random soccer mom sprayed Johnny's face with a high powered hot glue gun. The mask affixed to his face forever, Johnny staggered out of the Hobby Lobby store reborn as the infamous Hobby Lobby Face! Killer of mobsters, soccer moms, mobster soccer moms, soccer moms who consort with mobsters, and any combination at all of the words soccer, mom, and mobster. FEAR HIM...(if you're a soccer mom or mobster or any above mentioned combination of those three words.)
Too bad all I have is a crappy computer cam, you can't even see the glue sticks coming out of his nose or the H.L. affixed to his forehead, or even the little leather strips used as hair...evil hair!