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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: curator of the WTFbus museum
Old Mar 26th, 2008, 02:15 PM        Your weirdest dreams?
I don't know about you guys, but I have goofy-ass dreams pretty much constantly.

Last night I dreamed I was watching a TV show called "No Shit, They're Polar Bears". It was hosted by this really perky, annoying lady who was always sticking her face right up to the camera, trying to be cute. (Very much like Kirsten Gum of "Cash & Treasures", actually.) The show was five or six segments long.

In the first segment, they showed two polar bears swimming around in a tank of icy water. The host prattled on about that for a while, then she said, "Now I'm gonna try it!" So she gets into a wetsuit and jumps in and starts freaking out about how cold it is. She jumps back out and squeals, "It's furrrrrrrrEEEEEZING in there! I mean, there are CHUNKS of ICE in the WATER! But look at them, they can swim around in there with no problem at all!"

Then the screen froze, a giant blue stamp-graphic of the show's title was plastered over the picture of the polar bears in the pool, and a chorus of studio-voices shouted, "NO SHIT, THEY'RE POLAR BEARS!"

I can only remember one other segment...there was this dead seal all flayed out on the ground, and it showed the two polar bears ripping off pieces. Then the host got in there and hoisted a chunk of raw seal meat to her mouth. "Yuck! It's all bloody! But this is what they eat every day! Day in and day out, they eat raw, bloody things like this, can you belieeeeve it?"

Cut to the stamp-graphic with accompanying *clunk* superimposed over seal guts. "NO SHIT, THEY'RE POLAR BEARS!"

It was the dumbest and funniest dream I've ever had. I actually woke myself up laughing in my sleep.

Last edited by Kitsa : Mar 27th, 2008 at 08:12 PM. Reason: edited to add spiffy gif that may or may not work right
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