[Kitsa]

I'm glad she made it through Christmas.

My mom's on cancer #5 or 6, I don't remember. The first one was diagnosed right before Christmas, and she had a lymphangiogram to stage it. She ended up being allergic to the dye they used and got this sudden pneumonia. We got her to the hospital and the only attending there was a really bitter man who kept telling us that he was the only one who would work Christmas because he was Jewish. He decided my mom had Legionnaire's disease and we spent Christmas eve with him telling us mom was going to die in a few hours and to say our goodbyes.

Luckily, right after that they found out she didn't have Legionnaire's at all, and they gave her IV stuff for the allergic reaction. But I'll never forget how casual that guy flipped it out "Your mom's gonna die tonight, so you'd better say your goodbyes."

...idiot.

Also, the very first time I felt the pain/paralysis of my spinal cord cancer/brain tumor was when I was a toddler helping my mom decorate the tree at my grandmother's house. I have this crystal-clear memory of turning to her and saying "Mommy, my neck hurts". I even remember what I was wearing. As a matter of fact, I think I actually have a picture of that exact moment. I'll have to go look for it.

Christmas just isn't merry for everybody.