The reason I thought of this is because I have one magnificent motherfucker of a bruise I incurred earlier today. I was walking fast and hit the sharp edge of a solid steel desk so hard that it moved the whole thing half a foot.
I got a sort of black and blue stripe across my thigh right away, but it's one of those that feels like someone implanted a baseball in your muscle. I look forward to all the new and exciting colors it will turn in the next week or so.
When I was a lot younger, I was running on a board sidewalk in the rain and slipped, falling on the side of my thigh. I had a giant bruise that went all the way from my hip to my knee.
Even younger than that, my mom decided to polish our dark-brown shower stall with lemon oil before I had a sleepover. We had hard water and the lemon oil temporarily disguised the scummy marks. So I took a shower, my feet flew out from under me, and I sprained my ankle so badly that I was in a cast for a month
That time, my leg all the way up to my knee was almost jet black.
I've also gone over the handlebars of a bike and skidded several feet on my face, scraping all the skin off my nose; slammed a door so hard on my finger that the fingertip burst from the impact and it looks a little wonky to this day, and fell down a hill behind a liquor store, landing full force with my knee on a broken glass bottle. I think I put pictures of that one up earlier.
I know that you've all done dumb shit. Your turn.