[Aaarg]

yesterday it dawned on me that i'm trying and trying and trying and failing to land a job that will leave me completely unfulfilled and only serve to make the world a worse place, and i don't know what i can do about it.

and then i took a depressing walk on a shitty paved trail and i'd stop to watch squirrels because that cheers me up a bit and then i'd zone out doing so and somebody would zip by on a bike and scare the squirrels away and i'd be back in suicide-ville.