[Anonymous]

I was out most of the weekend and don't have a spare set of toiletries, so I decided to spend a few bucks at a dollar store to get shaving stuff.

The cream was this Edge shaving gel stuff that I've seen before in real stores, so it seemed innocent enough, and the razor was one-to-a-pack and had a brand name. So, it didn't seem like I could really go wrong there either.

The cream, after applied, starting bubbling and churning and firing white spray all down my shirt and pants (I know, Robo. It was really SEMEN. Drooling from my MOUTH. LOL!), but in a straightish line, so it looked like a foaming ninja had attacked me with his signature weapon.

Then the blade was roughly 90 degrees away from where it should have been, and did a Killer Instinct 72-hit marvelous combo on my face. The store didn't have aftershave, so I cleaned up my grated face with the handtowel I also bought for $1 and just felt like my head was on fire for the rest of the day.

I mention this because I got back home last night to my Mach 3 Turbo and nearly wet myself with how amazing it was. Go buy one now unless you are a godless homosexual.

And if you are, you can borrow mine.

Ten dollars says the handtowel disintegrates in the dryer.